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are we the ones who are aging? (a friend just emailed this to me and I just had to share)

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ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING??
 
ONE


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

(must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only splenda and sugar.)



TWO



I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.  After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.





THREE



A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into herfloppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'(keep shuddering!!)



FOUR


I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.  She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the  battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.


'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there

and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'


PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!



FIVE


Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.


Brunette, by the way!!



SIX



A mother calls 911 very worried asking the

dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'



Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
   Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!



01.  
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02..
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03.
No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04.
People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

05.
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07.
Things you buy now won't wear out.

08.
You can eat supper at 5 PM.

09.
You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10.
You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 
 
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13.
You sing along with elevator music.

14.
Your eyes won't get much worse.

15
. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16.
Your joints are

more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19.
You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.


Forward this to every one you can remember right now!



Never,

under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
 
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Replies (11-19):
Bmat
by Barb on May. 5, 2012 at 9:33 PM

LOL!!!!  Love these!!

My sister was stopped at the ticket booth with a rental car to pay her parking charge. She had to open the door to hand the money over to because she couldn't find the button to make the car window go down. The kid looked into the car and told her to turn the crank that was in the door.

LadySaphira
by Lisa on May. 5, 2012 at 10:38 PM

These are both sad and funny at the same time.

Click on my siggy to help find a cure for cancer!

jabs54
by Jeanine on May. 5, 2012 at 11:21 PM

 

Quoting Ferne:

Had to laugh at #4.  My car remote  died on me a few months ago when I was getting ready to leave work.  I started to call my husband and tell him I couldnt get the door unlocked , when it finally dawned on me to use the key.  Boy, did I feel dumb.

 I did the same thing!  I was at a store and I just stood there for the longest time thinking "what am I going to do?!" lol

tierneylv
by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:12 AM

Overworked and overloaded one day....

   I was talking on my cell phone as I was pulling into the parking lot at work.  I panicked because as I was gathering all of my gear together, I started telling my friend, "Oh crap! I think I lost my cell phone!!! I can't find it"   He just started laughing since I was on it TALKING TO HIM!!!  I blamed it on menopause!

lruggio
by on May. 6, 2012 at 3:52 PM

Great stuff....looks like I will be sharing this...thanks for the laugh!

stepof5
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2012 at 4:34 PM

Too funny. Yes, I am getting older.

DesignGirl450
by Lynda on May. 7, 2012 at 1:05 PM

Just read this.  Thanks for making my Monday.  Love it. 

LEK19
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 4:29 PM

Nothing's funnier than the truth!

Thanks for the laugh!

jurnee14
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:57 PM

Haha! This made my day! ( i also worked with someone who copied blank paper)

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