My 18 year old daughter is beautiful-physically, she has a cute, womanly figure, long blond hair, big blue eyes, a winning smile, and a graceful way about her. But her character is even lovelier, caring spirit, great sense of humor, responsible...and she is also intellectually gifted, a concert pianist, and teaches piano to adults and children for the past 5 years.
Yet, she is distraught and crippled by a conviction that (of all things) her ankles are cankles. She is not at all overweight, but has thicker than normal legs and ankles-but not so anyone would notice!!! EXCEPT HER! And she is constantly obsessed with it. She wont wear shorts or dresses, hates to perform because she fears people will notice her ankles, and wears boots when she has to wear a dress.
She has been invited to go to the Florida Keys with her best friend's family, and then we are supposed to go to the outer banks to a beach house for a week as an extended family vacation. She is so messed up about this! I cant bear that she either misses out on so much fun due to her obsession, and that when she does go, the fun is overshadowed by her misery at feeling "fat and ugly."
When I was expecting her, I never thought to pray for big boobs, small hips and trim ankles! I prayed for healthy, smart, and good!
I feel badly that she inherited my prominent calves and not trim ankles. I feel badly that I somehow could not give her my ample bosom. But I want her to see herself as others do, and believe me, boys have crushes on her left and right but she ignores it because she is so sure she is unacceptable to them.
I have her in therapy, to try to help her change her thinking, but in the meantime, she is supposed to leave for this Key West Scuba diving trip and she is a sobbing, curled in a ball MESS about it! Any advice on what I can possibly say to her except Im sorry I gave you thick ankles and pale skin???? When I tell her how pretty she is, she gets angry and doesnt believe me (Im her mom, Im supposed to think that...) when I tell her she can have fun and not care what others think, she just cries harder.
I am at a loss! I raised 5 boys...she is my only daughter. Anybody know what helps a girl in the throes of such a delusion???