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Sort of a Spin off

Posted by on May. 14, 2012 at 12:38 PM
  • 16 Replies
3 moms liked this

Of the Lost Angel post

The update told how the family celebrated her life by doing something she loved to do, going to the beach.  I have a friend who lost a child ten years ago and the worst part was that it was days before her birthday.  The memorial service for her was on her birthday and rather than have a "funeral" they had a birthday party, complete with balloons, streamers and a large "happy birthday" banner.  Attendees were given ice cream and cake and punch.  The parents got a lot of flack from family as well as friends for treating her death in this manner,  they said they were disrespecting the memory of her and should be ashamed to take her death so lightly.  They responded by trying to explain that her life meant so much to them that they want to celebrate it rather than  mourn her passing.   They wanted to remember her last birthday as a day of joy rather than sadness.  

I have always felt the same way...I believe in celebrating the life rather than mourning the death and I stood by the girls parents.  My question is, would you have joined in the celebration of life or would you critizise the parents for wanting to spread the joy of their child?

by on May. 14, 2012 at 12:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Why123
by Nancy on May. 14, 2012 at 12:57 PM

No criticism here.  I agree with celebrating a life.

LadySaphira
by Lisa on May. 14, 2012 at 1:30 PM

I would have joined them. I think it is a great idea. When Mark's twin brother passed away his family got to gether after the services (which evreyone wore casual clothing to) and had a BBQ complete with beer and kids running around screaming. Why? Because that is what Mike would have liked. He would have hated the whole solemn, , wearing black bit. Yes, people still cried as they talked about him, but sometimes times they were tears of laughter over the various "adventures" Mike had dragged them along on throughout his life. 

CoeyG
by on May. 14, 2012 at 2:17 PM


Quoting LadySaphira:

I would have joined them. I think it is a great idea. When Mark's twin brother passed away his family got to gether after the services (which evreyone wore casual clothing to) and had a BBQ complete with beer and kids running around screaming. Why? Because that is what Mike would have liked. He would have hated the whole solemn, , wearing black bit. Yes, people still cried as they talked about him, but sometimes times they were tears of laughter over the various "adventures" Mike had dragged them along on throughout his life. 

Yep this is how I want things to go when I pass.  I want a party not a funeral.  

mac1940
by Mary Ann on May. 14, 2012 at 2:42 PM

I too would have joined them for a celebration of life.  While I can think of no worse pain than losing a child I would want to celebrate her life.  My uncle prepared for his death, buying a case of whiskey and telling his daughter to throw a checkered tablecloth on the casket and invite friends and family to come for a drink on him.  She did have a get together though did not put the tablecloth on the casket. 

busygramma4
by on May. 14, 2012 at 2:51 PM

I would go w/ celebration! That's what life is for!


                                      
  Angels Lending A
  
  Helping Hand Goup
  
 


 

homeskoolmama
by on May. 14, 2012 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I think celebrating life is wonderful and if that's what they wanted, i would have gone and enjoyed. Now I may have cried for the loss at home, but I would not have criticized them. Their choice. 

My dh wants a party when he dies and has it written out. No hymns, no somber wake or whatever. He wants CCR, Lynard Skynard and such played. He wants a party, no casket, no viewing. I will respect those wishes. His family will have a conniption fit, but so be it.

KittyGram
by Becky on May. 14, 2012 at 4:13 PM

I've attended a number of "celebrations of life", my ex-FIL's being the one that means the most to me.  It was wonderful, a time of sharing the memories, lots of laughs.  It was surprising to all of us that there were so many in attendance, but he evidently touched many hearts in his 65 years.  What better way to "see them off" than a happy celebration!! 

Don't get me wrong, there were tears there, but we shared so many happy memories as well!

louannwilkins
by Louann on May. 14, 2012 at 6:28 PM

 I wouldn't have criticized them.  Every has their own way of dealing with things and I think it's fine.  It's kind of wierd that this post is here today of all days.  The last time I saw my daddy alive was on Mothers Day evening 2007.  He died on Monday May 14 five years ago today.  I've had him on my mind all day and felt sad at times and laughed at other times.  I've always been told I was the spitting image of him...looks and actions.  lol   He was a good man and a good day and I miss him everyday.  You know even at his funeral we had a couple of close family friends speak and there was some laughter with stories that were told.  I liked it that way and he would have loved it.

Esmrlda
by Esme on May. 14, 2012 at 7:39 PM

 I would want to help them celebrate.

desert1
by on May. 14, 2012 at 7:49 PM

 What a great way to celebrate their daughters birthday and memory. A lot love went into it.

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