I have a 20-year-old son who is a college student. He's finally taking school seriously, and is making all A's and B's, for which I'm thankful, since he had a difficult couple of years (results included some dismissed criminal charges) after his dad moved out. But he refuses to find a job, saying that he "just won't have time" for anything except his summer classes, once they start in a week or so. This is pretty much the same thing he's been saying for the past year.
He pays no rent, eats a large share of groceries (I also have his 9-year-old brother living with me most of the time), and increases my electric bill. As a single mom on a teacher's salary (our wages have been frozen for 5 years), I just can't afford this. His older sister worked a regular part-time job throughout nursing school and kept her 4.0 GPA, so I definitely know that it CAN be done. His dad gives him money every month to pay his car insurance premium; every time he's asked me for spending money, I've refused out of necessity. I've been telling him to get a job for quite a while, now.
While saying "no" to the spending money does make a statement, I also need him to understand that he's handicapping my budget in other ways, as well, and it makes me angry to see him doing nothing to alleviate the stress he causes me. Helping with the groceries every now and then would certainly be nice for a change.