Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

The beginning of the end?

Posted by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:45 AM
  • 15 Replies

It is starting to look like we are entering the beginning of the end Of Casey's "first Love".  a little background info:

Casey met her boyfriend on line  (he lives 5 hours away) 3 years ago. They have been dating for about 2 1/2 years. they have only seen each other in person three times. Twice she went to where he lives to see him, once he came here. They kept in contact over the years mainly via texts, phone calls, and IM.

Lately he has ben pressuring her to move out there with him, she says she is not ready to take the relationship to that level. IDK if they have had sex or not, it is none of my business and I did not ask. If she wants/wanted me to know, she would tell me. She told him earlier tonight that maybe they should stop talking for a bit untill they both can think about things and cool down a little (smart girl IMO). They did have plans for her to go out there at the end of June to spend a month with him and his family, now she is unsure if she wants to go. She does not want to go out there if he is going to coninue to pressure her about moving there. I did talk to her a little and told her that if the reason she does not want to move in with him i because she is worried about disappointing or angering us then we would be fine with her going out there but if she didn't want to because she really wasn't ready then not to let him push her into it. I have a feeling that the relationship is going to be ending soon and hope she hadles it well when it does. So far I think she is doing a great job.

Any additional advice?

Click on my siggy to help find a cure for cancer!

by on May. 22, 2012 at 1:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
caro100
by Carol on May. 22, 2012 at 2:02 AM

Think you just have wait and see ihow it plays out.  You might tell her that if he keeps pressuring her it might be a red flag for a controlling person.  I just have an uneasy feeling.

CoeyG
by on May. 22, 2012 at 3:17 AM

I agree with you sounds like she is handling it really well and that she is already in the phase to end it.  She isn't going to allow this guy to talk her into anything she doesn't want to get into, good for her.  You done good!

louannwilkins
by Louann on May. 22, 2012 at 8:10 AM

 Sounds like she has her head on right, so to speak.  Great job!  Just do what you've been doing and be there for her.  It's nice to hear about kids who DO have a clue about things. 

kam013
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2012 at 9:27 AM

Casey sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.  

The only thing I would consider is if she is staying behind because she is worried about you and Mark (and possibly nervous about leaving her sister) that maybe she should consider going out there for the trip as planned just to SEE how she truly feels about being there and being that far away from home for an extended period of time.  It's one of those things that could haunt her later in life, you know that "what if" kind of feeling.  

Is there anything to say that if she was unhappy in a couple of weeks time that she couldn't come home early?   Also, if she did decide to go she should absolutely lay down some ground rules with this guy about NOT discussing moving while she was there.  

Really nice to hear that she is really thinking about things before jumping in with both feet like many kids do these days.

Shellness
by Michell on May. 22, 2012 at 9:50 AM

No additional advice for now. Seems like you are open and honest and are there for her. She couldn't ask for more.

LadySaphira
by Lisa on May. 22, 2012 at 10:08 AM

I was kind of thinking the same thing..my only problem is that if she does go and wants to come home early I would not have the money to go get her if need be. I want her to spread her wings eventualy, after all she is 20 but not untill she feels ready.

Quoting kam013:

Casey sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.  

The only thing I would consider is if she is staying behind because she is worried about you and Mark (and possibly nervous about leaving her sister) that maybe she should consider going out there for the trip as planned just to SEE how she truly feels about being there and being that far away from home for an extended period of time.  It's one of those things that could haunt her later in life, you know that "what if" kind of feeling.  

Is there anything to say that if she was unhappy in a couple of weeks time that she couldn't come home early?   Also, if she did decide to go she should absolutely lay down some ground rules with this guy about NOT discussing moving while she was there.  

Really nice to hear that she is really thinking about things before jumping in with both feet like many kids do these days.


Click on my siggy to help find a cure for cancer!

homeskoolmama
by on May. 22, 2012 at 10:25 AM

Lisa sounds like you're doing the right thing to me. Love and support without being pushy.

mac1940
by Mary Ann on May. 22, 2012 at 11:55 AM

I think you are doing just fine without any additional advice.  And it sounds like Casey will do what is right for her.  Like Dawn said, love and support without being pushy.

Bmat
by Barb on May. 22, 2012 at 12:19 PM

She sounds as though she has her head on straight.  And that you do also. :)

KittyGram
by Becky on May. 22, 2012 at 12:48 PM

I agree with most of this, with the exception of going on the trip as planned, to see how she truly feels.  She'll know by then exactly how she feels - I'd say, just advise her not to make any definite plans either way right now, just to wait it out a couple weeks before making that final decision.  She may need a little more time to see just how she feels.

Smart kid!!! 

Quoting kam013:

Casey sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.  

The only thing I would consider is if she is staying behind because she is worried about you and Mark (and possibly nervous about leaving her sister) that maybe she should consider going out there for the trip as planned just to SEE how she truly feels about being there and being that far away from home for an extended period of time.  It's one of those things that could haunt her later in life, you know that "what if" kind of feeling.  

Is there anything to say that if she was unhappy in a couple of weeks time that she couldn't come home early?   Also, if she did decide to go she should absolutely lay down some ground rules with this guy about NOT discussing moving while she was there.  

Really nice to hear that she is really thinking about things before jumping in with both feet like many kids do these days.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)