Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

She used to be my very best friend.

Then she had back surgeries and became addicted to perscription pills.

Now she is a stranger and has been for years and years. About 13 years now. She lies, treats me bad, resents me, tells me I'm a bad person-and a bad mother, involves my adult children in her drug addiction by asking them to purchase pills off the street for her-she also does this with my other sisters children-will do pills with the ones who want them, give pills to them.

My oldest son is in rehab now. He has been clean for 40 days. (somewhere around that area)

I just tried to call her and talk to her to get over the last nasty thing she said to me. She of course "never did anything and never said anything".

I have to give her up. She isn't very well. She will die one day. Without me. It breaks my heart. I love her so much.

Anyone have to do something like this?

by on May. 24, 2012 at 7:06 PM
Replies (21-26):
USBrit
by Member on May. 25, 2012 at 10:16 AM

WOW! I feel my heart breaking for all of you that have this. I think drinking and drugs are just so damaging to families. However, being prescribed for pain and then getting addicted is just so very scary. 

I think that most of us know someone that we care about with something similar, I have two family members with mental illness, it was difficult at best.

CoeyG
by on May. 25, 2012 at 8:29 PM


Quoting Shellness:

How long did it take for you to come to that point in life where you just couldnt be around anymore?

Quoting CoeyG:

I never had anything to do with my mom the last 15 years of her life, didn't even find out she had passed until three years later when my sister finally decided to get in touch with Shannon about an inheritance.   

 

Actually I think it was from the beginning, I don't believe her and I ever really bonded.  I can't remember a time when she wasn't complaining about the things I did or constnatly critizing me which is what led me to getting emancipated and just walking away.  I do remember when her and my dad would battle over his drinking and thinking that if they ever divorced I would rather go with my father, he may have been violent with me but he still supported the things I did and I figured his occasional beatings weren't as bad as my mother's constant belittling/emotional abuse.  So I guess it was before I was in my teens even.

Esmrlda
by Esme on May. 25, 2012 at 10:12 PM
I'm sorry she is hurting you emotionally. Remember it's the drugs talking. I would just try and keep my distance and have the kids do the same. ((hugs))
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
nsparky1964
by on May. 26, 2012 at 11:40 AM

i am so sorry that you and mom are estranged....addiction is a horrible thing, my prayers to you and your family...

my mom and i had a shaky relationship up until i was in my mid 30's..then suddenly i grew up and realized that she was an incredibly beautiful soul....while mom was sick and dying, i didn't leave her side for 10days...my dad told the doctors to go thru me for all medical test and treatments (dad was simply overwhelmed, and knew that i knew about that stuff)...I miss her every single day and would give anything to have her here for just one day.......she truly was my best friend.....

DesignGirl450
by Lynda on May. 26, 2012 at 1:27 PM

I am so very sorry about this sad situation.  My mother  was an alcoholic and got much worse after my dad died.  She wasn't really abusive to me, but could get bitchy.  I know she had some alcoholic withdrawal seizures as they were witnessed by people who told me.  She died in 1996, her heart stopped, but she probably had liver disease as her eyes were yellow for several years before her death.  I was not estranged from her ever, but it was hard to be around someone who was drunk most of the time, even when she knew I was coming  to see her.   My youngest sister, G, was quite verbally and emotionally abusive for years, very jealous and resentful of me.  And I allowed it to happen because I took her abuse.   About a year or so after mom died, and all of the disbursements from the estate had been given out, G  suddenly stopped having any contact with me.  I was pretty upset for a few years, but moved on as I had my own life and family to concentrate on.  I figure it was her loss as she never married or had children, and she missed seeing my daughter grow up.  G hasn't spent Christmas with any family for many years, so don't know what she does.  A couple of years ago, our middle sister alluded that G would like to resume a relationship with me.  This may sound harsh, but fat chance, as I know exactly what she is capable of, and I do not believe that people change.  Michell, I honestly think for your own sake, you should stop phoning your mother and setting yourself up for more abuse.   

Shellness
by on May. 27, 2012 at 8:03 PM

 Thank you for sharing your story and yes, I'm going to stop setting myself up to be hurt.

Quoting DesignGirl450:

I am so very sorry about this sad situation.  My mother  was an alcoholic and got much worse after my dad died.  She wasn't really abusive to me, but could get bitchy.  I know she had some alcoholic withdrawal seizures as they were witnessed by people who told me.  She died in 1996, her heart stopped, but she probably had liver disease as her eyes were yellow for several years before her death.  I was not estranged from her ever, but it was hard to be around someone who was drunk most of the time, even when she knew I was coming  to see her.   My youngest sister, G, was quite verbally and emotionally abusive for years, very jealous and resentful of me.  And I allowed it to happen because I took her abuse.   About a year or so after mom died, and all of the disbursements from the estate had been given out, G  suddenly stopped having any contact with me.  I was pretty upset for a few years, but moved on as I had my own life and family to concentrate on.  I figure it was her loss as she never married or had children, and she missed seeing my daughter grow up.  G hasn't spent Christmas with any family for many years, so don't know what she does.  A couple of years ago, our middle sister alluded that G would like to resume a relationship with me.  This may sound harsh, but fat chance, as I know exactly what she is capable of, and I do not believe that people change.  Michell, I honestly think for your own sake, you should stop phoning your mother and setting yourself up for more abuse.   

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN