Mom who believes in tough love but is worried about sons future
I am new to the group and hoping to meet other Mom's with similar issues/concerns.
To make a very long story short, I am a single Mom who has two boys age 22 & 20. They both are living on their own renting separate rooms in someone's home. They both had disciplinary issues when they lived at home with me and did not feel that they had to follow rules, since they were adults. They were both told that they had to live on their own. It was also not an easy process to get them out of my home.
My hopes were that they would step up and see that they needed to become more responsible to support themselves OR realize what a good thing they had while living under my roof and agree to follow rules and could come back home. The result is that they are both living week to week and not able to get ahead. They struggle to try and pay rent and have money for food. I know they only way that they could get ahead in this economy is to live at home, save money to purchase cars in order to get better jobs and try to take some college courses.
One of my sons is just stubborn and doesn't want to admit that he has messed up and should have just followed the rules at home and my other son has drinking/drug issues and I am concerned that he will make life even harder for my other son.
It is very tough for me to discuss this with other parents that have never had these major problems with their children. I believe in tough love and not having kids live at home and just enabling them to be lazy and disrespectful. On the other hand, it is breaking my heart to see the way that they are living with the potential that I know they have to live a better life.
I would love to offer them to move back home, but I want to ensure that they would follow my requirements. I have been researching contracts for adult children that live at home, but I am not sure how they could really be enforced. (One of my son's told me a few years back that I could not kick him out. There are more rights for kids today than parents and you really cannot just "kick" your kids out of the house.)
I would love to hear from other Mom's that have had similar situations and if you have had any success in dealing with these types of issues. I would REALLY appreciate it!