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Common courtesy or none of your business? Update question.....

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Just a question.....

If your married adult child goes out of town/state for the weekend, is it common courtesy to let you (as his/her parent)? Or is it none of your business? 
Let me rephrase: Is it common courtesy or none of your business, to let you know that they are going out of town. Not what they're doing, just to inform you they're going. 

With lastest technolgy of cell phones and things, does anyone take into consideration that cell phones die, and/or lose signal? Does this play into the safety/ emergency issue?

                                          
                                               Angels Lending A Helping Hand 

                                
          

by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Replies (101-110):
CoeyG
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 5:52 PM


Quoting Sherbear2012:

Oh' NO!! I have 2 adult daughters that live in Chicago and if we don't hear from them within 3-4days a week you best believe I'm on that phone...and they do me the same way... Text, email or something....but don't let a week go by without some form of communication.....

No one says one shouldn't communicate with their children.  I was just on a phone call with my daughter but it wasn't about going out of town.  Oh and she goes "out of town" twice a week for physical therapy.  I don't need her to call me every time she goes...I don't like being awakened before 10:00am and her appointment is at 9:00 here in Pennsylvania...8:00 there in Texas.

Sherbear2012
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 5:54 PM
WHAT?!" you're ignorant I'm not on the phone all day everyday use common sense....ugh!
Sherbear2012
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 5:58 PM
That's different we're talking about generally speaking...if I knew I was going out of town tonight & my mom and children didnt know I would give them the curtisty and respect them enough to let them know...for the just in case reasons and mainly because if I need them or they need me we know how to get in touch with one another....
CoeyG
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 6:55 PM

Well if I ever need my daughter or she ever needs me I'm going to have to plan it because either way it would take 2 days to get there by car that is, she could fly but it would still take 45 minutes for her to get to the airport if she flew and then she'd need extra help because of her hip and the fact that she can't walk.  If I flew I would have to set up and get an okay in order to take oxygen on the flight, because wherever I go oxygen goes with me.  Contacting her to expressly tell her I was going out of town is just not logical.  

EireLass
by Gold Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 9:31 PM

So nobody has replied that they have a line of communication with other people (other than the kids/parents). Shouldn't you have names/numbers of neighbors, friends, co-workers?

And in case of a disaster, shouldn't you (and they) be carrying a card that says "In case of emergency call XYZ"?

Maybe this is why I'm not so concerned about all of this, because this is what we do. I have a whole list of names/numbers for contacts for my kids, as do they for me. And the same with the emergency card.

Not_A_Native
by Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm 56 years old.  I have 4 kids, only one living at home full time (and one home from college for summer and holidays).  One son lives 1200 miles away.  His job involves a lot of travelling for business, and no, he doesn't call every time he's going out of town.  He has a cell phone, a laptop, and fb.  I usually find out when he posts pictures on fb. My older daughter (22), is moving back to NYC, 3000 miles away (she went to college here, came back for a year - in an apartment -and is now moving back full time).  I would not expect her to call every time she's going somewhere - she made lots of friends back there, they live up and down the east coast.  She travelled with them to various places around there - I didn't always know ahead of time (unless she needed money, lol).

Do they let SOMEONE know?  Yes, absolutely.  It's just that as a parent of an ADULT - that person may not always be ME.

jabs54
by Jeanine on Jun. 14, 2012 at 9:37 PM

 My mom and I would know where we were going if either one went out of town, but then we lived a block apart ;)  My kids don't go out of town very often but we talk every week so they've always told me if they are traveling.  To say "it's none of your business" sounds extremely rude to me...  

CoeyG
by on Jun. 14, 2012 at 11:35 PM


Quoting jabs54:

 My mom and I would know where we were going if either one went out of town, but then we lived a block apart ;)  My kids don't go out of town very often but we talk every week so they've always told me if they are traveling.  To say "it's none of your business" sounds extremely rude to me...  

Why?  Maybe I don't want my family to know everything that goes on in my life.  It isn't thier life it is mine and my choices are mine.  Even my daughter doesn't have to know everything about what I do.  She doesn't live here so it doesn't affect her...If I feel like inviting 10 me a night to come on in and give me a fuck it is none of her business.  She isn't paying my bills.  

CoeyG
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:42 AM


Quoting Not_A_Native:

I'm 56 years old.  I have 4 kids, only one living at home full time (and one home from college for summer and holidays).  One son lives 1200 miles away.  His job involves a lot of travelling for business, and no, he doesn't call every time he's going out of town.  He has a cell phone, a laptop, and fb.  I usually find out when he posts pictures on fb. My older daughter (22), is moving back to NYC, 3000 miles away (she went to college here, came back for a year - in an apartment -and is now moving back full time).  I would not expect her to call every time she's going somewhere - she made lots of friends back there, they live up and down the east coast.  She travelled with them to various places around there - I didn't always know ahead of time (unless she needed money, lol).

Do they let SOMEONE know?  Yes, absolutely.  It's just that as a parent of an ADULT - that person may not always be ME.

This

mariC67
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:52 AM


Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting DixieL:

Common courtesy. If my son disappeared without telling me I would be scard to death. He always tells me where he is going and about when he will be back

In this day and age it is a bit difficult for an adult to "disappear" unless someone removes them from the face of the earth.  There are cellphones, Ipohnes, Ipads all kinds of communication devices I've heard tell that you can access the internet on your laptop in your car now.  When Shannon and I came cross country from Caliofnria almost 5 years ago we got a flat tire, pulled over, pulled out the cell phone and dialed AAA, within a half hour I was heaed to the nearest Firestone place to get a free tire because they were still under warantee.  Shannon's dad knew we were heading this way so that evening Shannon called to let him know that we'd probably be a day later than we had planned because of it.  There was no reason to contact anyone else regarding the flat tire, not much anyone else could do about it.  Yes people knew we were moving here but that is because we were moving not just goihg out of town.  Like I said, I have people who love me, but they don't need to know every time I fart.

You are quite wrong there as far as it being difficult to disappear..modern technology just makes it easier to stay in touch with those that want to be connected. I live in a rural area and there are many places around me where there are no cell phone signals, hell I get not even 3 miles out of town and I lose my signal, if I break down I'l be walking and many times I've been on stretches of road where there is nothing at all and many times after dark I've seen hogs, panthers, black bears, coyotes or wild dogs and gators, either on the road or on the shoulder. You could sit there for hours before some one came along and then god knows who that could be. Not to long ago they pulled a car out of a canal not far from here that had the remains of a woman still inside it. She had been missing for over 2 years. Those canals have dark water in them and you cant see more than a foot below the surface. Things can and do happen unfortunately, I know it probably wouldnt have saved the womans life but if someone had known where she was going the family could have put things to rest sooner.

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