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Common courtesy or none of your business? Update question.....

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Just a question.....

If your married adult child goes out of town/state for the weekend, is it common courtesy to let you (as his/her parent)? Or is it none of your business? 
Let me rephrase: Is it common courtesy or none of your business, to let you know that they are going out of town. Not what they're doing, just to inform you they're going. 

With lastest technolgy of cell phones and things, does anyone take into consideration that cell phones die, and/or lose signal? Does this play into the safety/ emergency issue?

                                          
                                               Angels Lending A Helping Hand 

                                
          

by on Jun. 11, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Replies (71-80):
CoeyG
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 5:30 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Sue1605:

I couldn't believe I read all 66 replies to the post. Interesting how people differ. CoeyG  is independant and close to the people she is, but detached, and likes it that way. Others are more concerned about safety issues, sometimes more wary from past experiences.....


We literally live all over the world and although most of the others kind of stay put wherever they are, DH and I move often and travel often. I can tell you that even with worldwide coverage, carrying all of the following - iPhone, iPad, wifi AND laptops, it is not always possible to establish contact.
My son was in Africa earlier this year and the humidity got to his equipment, even with packs of silica gel and triple ziploc bagging. Put a hand cranked generator power in the picture and you know why he was incommunicado for 3 weeks. Adult kid yes, doesn't even call home every week, but I was glad I knew where he was.


 Several similar stories I won't bore you with. Conclusion? Totally a personal family preference and already established communication. Not a question of respect as some would respect the privacy of the parents by not letting them know of unnecessary information.

On the contrary I am concerend about safety issues however it isn't logical that I could do anything to keep my daughter "safe" since I live here in Pennsylvania and she lives in Texas.  Even if I knew exactly where she was going, how long she was going to be there who she would be seeing, etc...not much I could do about it if something happened.  If I would be the only one she called to help her when she broke her hip...as I said by the time I got there her leg would have to come off...instead she called her step mother and father and was taken to the hospital where she had surgery and is now going to PT and on the road to recovery.  It is simply illogical for me to think I could have done anything...and I wouldn't be able to do anything if she went out of town.  

tinysmom160
by Bronze Member on Jun. 12, 2012 at 8:29 PM

Well I guess it depends on how old and if they live with me or not

CoeyG
by on Jun. 12, 2012 at 9:05 PM


Quoting tinysmom160:

Well I guess it depends on how old and if they live with me or not

The OP said, married, adult

lisamarie1265
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 2:03 AM
Common Courtesy. We are a close knit family, right now obviously mom and dad know we are down here in Florida, I call mom daily or email or text her. I love sharing things with my folks. They phone us as well. When we are at home and my daughter and son in law go camping or whatever I know when they're going, where they're going to be ect... And we keep in touch via text ... Not over bearing just a hello or gnite, or we did something awesome today couldn't wait to get home to tell you. What is wrong with staying in touch .. ??? It doesn't interrupt our trip or burden us to do so...... When mom and dad head out of town all of us know, me and my brothers. That's just how our family is... So we make it our business to be in each others business .. It's better than something bad happening to someone god forbide and no one knows where they are or whatever...
kimber2465
by Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 10:15 AM

courtesy, it isn't being nosey. just giving u a heads up, never know what can happen. lol two out three of my sister in laws let us know in addition to their families knowing. i let my parents know, heck i been married 29 years now, lol my parents let us know when they are traveling.

Dawn1118
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 12:51 PM

I don't think it is being nosey at all.  To me it is common sense, what if there is an emergency and you need to get a hold of them?  You don't have to know where they are going, just that they are going... My son tells me everytime he is going to be gone and I tell my family everytime I am going to be gone

Dawn1118
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe I couldn't physically do anything as Coey says BUT I would at least want to know and possibly be able to provide emotional support.  Could you imagine if your adult child was gone for a weekend, didn't tell you, and had an accident or someone you loved had something happen and you didn't know that they were not at home... Just seems strange to me...but maybe that is just me...

Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting Sue1605:

I couldn't believe I read all 66 replies to the post. Interesting how people differ. CoeyG  is independant and close to the people she is, but detached, and likes it that way. Others are more concerned about safety issues, sometimes more wary from past experiences.....


We literally live all over the world and although most of the others kind of stay put wherever they are, DH and I move often and travel often. I can tell you that even with worldwide coverage, carrying all of the following - iPhone, iPad, wifi AND laptops, it is not always possible to establish contact.
My son was in Africa earlier this year and the humidity got to his equipment, even with packs of silica gel and triple ziploc bagging. Put a hand cranked generator power in the picture and you know why he was incommunicado for 3 weeks. Adult kid yes, doesn't even call home every week, but I was glad I knew where he was.


 Several similar stories I won't bore you with. Conclusion? Totally a personal family preference and already established communication. Not a question of respect as some would respect the privacy of the parents by not letting them know of unnecessary information.

On the contrary I am concerend about safety issues however it isn't logical that I could do anything to keep my daughter "safe" since I live here in Pennsylvania and she lives in Texas.  Even if I knew exactly where she was going, how long she was going to be there who she would be seeing, etc...not much I could do about it if something happened.  If I would be the only one she called to help her when she broke her hip...as I said by the time I got there her leg would have to come off...instead she called her step mother and father and was taken to the hospital where she had surgery and is now going to PT and on the road to recovery.  It is simply illogical for me to think I could have done anything...and I wouldn't be able to do anything if she went out of town.  


CoeyG
by on Jun. 13, 2012 at 1:19 PM


Quoting Dawn1118:

Maybe I couldn't physically do anything as Coey says BUT I would at least want to know and possibly be able to provide emotional support.  Could you imagine if your adult child was gone for a weekend, didn't tell you, and had an accident or someone you loved had something happen and you didn't know that they were not at home... Just seems strange to me...but maybe that is just me...

Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting Sue1605:

I couldn't believe I read all 66 replies to the post. Interesting how people differ. CoeyG  is independant and close to the people she is, but detached, and likes it that way. Others are more concerned about safety issues, sometimes more wary from past experiences.....


We literally live all over the world and although most of the others kind of stay put wherever they are, DH and I move often and travel often. I can tell you that even with worldwide coverage, carrying all of the following - iPhone, iPad, wifi AND laptops, it is not always possible to establish contact.
My son was in Africa earlier this year and the humidity got to his equipment, even with packs of silica gel and triple ziploc bagging. Put a hand cranked generator power in the picture and you know why he was incommunicado for 3 weeks. Adult kid yes, doesn't even call home every week, but I was glad I knew where he was.


 Several similar stories I won't bore you with. Conclusion? Totally a personal family preference and already established communication. Not a question of respect as some would respect the privacy of the parents by not letting them know of unnecessary information.

On the contrary I am concerend about safety issues however it isn't logical that I could do anything to keep my daughter "safe" since I live here in Pennsylvania and she lives in Texas.  Even if I knew exactly where she was going, how long she was going to be there who she would be seeing, etc...not much I could do about it if something happened.  If I would be the only one she called to help her when she broke her hip...as I said by the time I got there her leg would have to come off...instead she called her step mother and father and was taken to the hospital where she had surgery and is now going to PT and on the road to recovery.  It is simply illogical for me to think I could have done anything...and I wouldn't be able to do anything if she went out of town.  


Yes I gave emotional support...but I wasn't the first one she needed to call in the case of emergency.  She needed to get to the hospital more than she needed me to "kiss her booboo" I talked to her as she went in for surgery, I have talked to her since, not much I could have done had she called me instead of her step mom.  

EireLass
by Gold Member on Jun. 13, 2012 at 1:24 PM

Am I the only one who has a line of contact? Don't any of you have their close friends or co-workers names/numbers, and for them in reverse?

emptynstr
by Leanne on Jun. 13, 2012 at 2:34 PM

 I have very close relationships with both of my adult, self sufficient children. We talk on a regular (multiple times a week) basis so I do know if they are planning a trip. They in turn know that we have plans to go out of town. My son in Cal even tells me if they are traveling and he is 2500 miles from me.

No prodding necessary just sharing of information and/or excitement regarding upcoming events.

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