Daughter's due in October, the father is a joke...
First and foremost it goes without saying that I am not perfect. I never have been nor will I ever be. I was in an abusive marriage (my second, not my daughter's father) for many years which not only affected me, but also affected my daughter. I, in my infinite wisdom (stupidity) thought I was doing what was best for her. However, she too has many scars as a result. No need to beat me up about it as I have done enough of that myself. I have since moved on, knowing that I cannot change the past, only my future. I did get out when she was about 16.
She always swore she would never have a relationship like mine. Well, duh, she now does. I feel for her situation. I have given her the knowledge and she has lived through what an abusive relationship does to a child. Her friends keep telling her he is useless. And, well, he is. She pays the bills he helps her here and there. She just does not see it and I know I cannot make her, been there, done that. She has to realize it on her own. My only hope is that she wakes up before she has their child. He is so attached to his mother, almost as if he is in a relationship with her. He gives his mom money and spends most of the rest on himself. He is but a child in a man's body (sort of).
His whole family is unreal. His youngest brother who is now maybe 10 is soooo overweight, his sister started smoking at like 13 years old, he himself was in trouble with the law before the age of 18, and his other brother from this mother is the only one who seems normal. He has several half siblings as his father was quite um... well... the naughty man. His siblings are from several different mothers. In short he has had no values given to him, no manners, nothing was taught to him that should have been. He is rude, obnoxious, and quite literally an ass.
While I can tell my head that there is nothing I can do, I cannot tell my heart. She is my child, my one and only child. After her I had a miscarriage, and then well, just could not have anymore. She is what I have lived my entire life for (always wanted children, when I had her, I gave her everything I could, not monetarily). She is my hopes and dreams, she is my everything. I was an over protective mother, even if I would have had more I would have been equally over protective. It is just how I am. I know she knows that she is not in a good relationship. I know that she knows it is not good for her child. She has told me so. She just wants a family and I do not begrudge her of that. There is somebody out there that will treat her with the respect that she deserves. I do not want her to waste her life on a man that is not worth the effort. She is not happy she told me so.
Any and all words of wisdom would be apprecciated.