So my dd ex came into town. He watched the kids while she worked on Sunday. When she got off work, she stopped by my house before going home. She gets a phone call from the ex, I can hear him yelling in the other end of the phone. She goes to her house. My husband and I both get phone calls from our daughter, (few mins apart) Tell us that he's freaking out, yelling at her (yes in the house in front of the kids) She's trying to get the kids into her room and close the door, while he is standing in the boys room yelling at her. Says he has talked to the neighbor and the neighbor told him that all her and I ever do is yell at the kids. (i babysit at night while she is in school) and that neighbor has left a note on her door saying that he is going to call the cops next time he hears either of us yelling. I have never seen a note, she has never seen a note. the ex also tells her that she's starving the kids and she has no food in the house or her fridge. (she has plenty of food, you just have to actually cook it) Trust me I'm there every night, I feed the kids. THEN.......
he wants to know why she always does this to him and how he is going to kill her and then himself......... She did nothing to him except give him another chance to see his kids. Everytime it ends up in an argument. I'm at a loss. I know she's an adult. I have told her that she needs to get a restraining order against him. And the whole time.... his girlfriend is texting and calling me asking whats going on. I told her it's none of her business, but she needs to go and get him and get him away from my dd and gk. Then the gf called me again saying how upset he is and he wants his kids and he should see his kids... I just told her that he needs to get some help, if he threatening to kill the kids mom and then himself, he needs help and shouldnt be around the kids at all until then.
sorry about the length, but i am at a loss and I want to help her. she's my baby, and my grandkids are my babies....
He does live 4 hours away. When he got there Sunday morning, everything was good. He has in the past flipped out on her but never anything like this before. When i was on the phone with her I told her to hang up and call 911.
There is no visitation order in place yet. She is working on getting that, but since she isn't getting any cs from the dirtbag, she is having to go through legal aid. and even that's tough, because of her working full time and going to school at night. and she can't really take anytime off work because then she wouldn't have enough to make her bills. Rock and a hard place.
He was at her place because he doesn't have a license or a car, and there really wasn't anywhere else for him to go. my dd doesn't want her kids around his gf (which is his transportation) so the only logical place for him to be with 3 small kids was her house.
I just wish he could get his crap together. I know that he loves his kids, but he just isn't mature enough to have a mature relationship with anyone. he acts like he's 18, but he's 28 and going no where in life. No job, no drive to get a job, problems with the law.....
Quoting suzeebloch:
I'd start out by not letting her ex be able to stay with the kids all day at her house while she is working. You mentioned he "came into town" so I assume he doesn't live in the same town? Is there something in writing about visitation? Again, for me the first step would be not allowing him to stay at her house! That gives me the creeps just thinking about that, even if they had an amicable relationship.
Sounds like a mess though with his gf, the neighbor, etc. I agree to call the police, however, and at least report the threat. It's more than likely gonna be a he-said she-said situation but at least it will be on record.
It's not her fault he has no license or car and lives 4 hours away. She doesn't have to let him stay at her home with the kids while she's at work. It's not the only logical place. He loves his kids? Then he needs to figure out a way to visit them on his own. Not her problem. I wouldn't let him in the house with the kids especially since "he has in the past flipped out on her".
Hope you guys can get this resolved, soon, but she needs to stop enabling him or nothing is going to change. And his "flipping out" might get worse.
Quoting nybor48:He does live 4 hours away. When he got there Sunday morning, everything was good. He has in the past flipped out on her but never anything like this before. When i was on the phone with her I told her to hang up and call 911.
There is no visitation order in place yet. She is working on getting that, but since she isn't getting any cs from the dirtbag, she is having to go through legal aid. and even that's tough, because of her working full time and going to school at night. and she can't really take anytime off work because then she wouldn't have enough to make her bills. Rock and a hard place.
He was at her place because he doesn't have a license or a car, and there really wasn't anywhere else for him to go. my dd doesn't want her kids around his gf (which is his transportation) so the only logical place for him to be with 3 small kids was her house.
I just wish he could get his crap together. I know that he loves his kids, but he just isn't mature enough to have a mature relationship with anyone. he acts like he's 18, but he's 28 and going no where in life. No job, no drive to get a job, problems with the law.....
Quoting suzeebloch:
I'd start out by not letting her ex be able to stay with the kids all day at her house while she is working. You mentioned he "came into town" so I assume he doesn't live in the same town? Is there something in writing about visitation? Again, for me the first step would be not allowing him to stay at her house! That gives me the creeps just thinking about that, even if they had an amicable relationship.
Sounds like a mess though with his gf, the neighbor, etc. I agree to call the police, however, and at least report the threat. It's more than likely gonna be a he-said she-said situation but at least it will be on record.
She is definatly in need of a restraining order. As for the neighbor, the Ex is probably making things up to start more trouble for her.
She should never allow him inside her home regardless of where he lives. If it is his court ordered visitiaton then he comes and gets the kids and goes somewhere with the kids, a lot of dads take them back to their places. If he only spends the day with tthem then he takex them to the zoo, the movies, tha mall, museums, amusement park or sporting event. She needs to stop thinking of him as a babysitter too. If she needs a sitter on the Sundays she works and it isn't his visitation then she needs to get a baby sitter. She knows how he is by now, she needs to stop relying on him.
my son is getting married
- nybor48
on Jul. 2, 2012 at 5:29 PM