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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

 I know I do not post very often, but was hoping to get some feedback.  This may have already been discussed but I just wanted others opinions as well.  I have a 21 yr old daughter, who for the most part has been a good kid.  She was going to college online but has failed out, her doings not mine.  She has a job, but no car, she moved in with her older brother and his girlfriend.  But she is sleeping upstairs and their air does not keep it cool at all.  She has a boyfriend who stays with her there on the weekends, this is why she moved out is because we would not allow boyfriend to stay here on the weekends.  I feel bad she has to stay in a room with basically no air in this heat wave we are having.  She did not have sex until she was 19 and has only had sex with one other guy besides the she is seeing now.  Is is wrong of me to let her come back home and him to stay the weekends with her.  My gut and heart say yes it is wrong, but my head worries about her in the heat.  No bashing please, I am really torn here.  We have a great relationship and I don't want to cause it any turmoil.  What she does now is I pick her up on Monday when I get off work and she stays here with us till Thursday morning when I go to work I drop her off at her brothers house.  What would you do???????

by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Replies (21-25):
Shelley927
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:34 AM

Well she is 21 so technically she is an adult.......it might not be what you feel is ok but these are different times and I myself would not have a problem with it at all....If she is working and doing what she needs to survive then it is ok....If you are gonna let her move back in just make sure she understands that this is not a free ride and she will need to pay rent or something....

tinysmom160
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:03 PM

If it was my daughter I would bring her home because I figure they are going to have sex any way. But does she not drive? You said you pick her up? But ever parent has there own rules and way of parenting.

cbunch123
by on Jul. 6, 2012 at 9:41 PM

 She does not have a car, and she has a job, and right now I am going to college and only have this summmer semester and this fall semester and then I will be done.  I am doing an internship this summer and can't get her back and forth to work.  She has not saved up much money to get a car or anything. 

It was her choice to move out.  And also she could buy a air conditioner for the upstairs, but then she has to help pay for the electric and she doesn't want to do that. 

I know they are having sex, but just can not bring myself to let it happen here.  Maybe I am wrong but that is just how I feel.  I know she has been a good girl and all, but I just don't think this is right for me. 

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jul. 7, 2012 at 7:36 AM

Kudos to you for being in college and nearly done to boot! Woo Hoo!

I think you can stop worrying about this situation (harder said than done, of course!).  It sounds like your daughter knows her options and is making the choice to stay with her brother and his gf on the weekends so she can have sex with her bf despite the unairconditioned room.  lol.

From what I've read, it does NOT sound as if she has been begging you to allow her to stay with you despite how you feel about the sex with the bf issue.  it's just your own "motherly concern" at play here.  She will be fine, Mom.  :o)  and so will you! 

Quoting cbunch123:

 She does not have a car, and she has a job, and right now I am going to college and only have this summmer semester and this fall semester and then I will be done.  I am doing an internship this summer and can't get her back and forth to work.  She has not saved up much money to get a car or anything. 

It was her choice to move out.  And also she could buy a air conditioner for the upstairs, but then she has to help pay for the electric and she doesn't want to do that. 

I know they are having sex, but just can not bring myself to let it happen here.  Maybe I am wrong but that is just how I feel.  I know she has been a good girl and all, but I just don't think this is right for me. 


cbunch123
by on Jul. 7, 2012 at 2:31 PM

 Thanks and you are right!!!!!! I am just going to worry about me and my schooling now, she will be fine and will not stroke out.  I feel better and more self assured now.  Thanks everyone.

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