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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Missing my son after moving him halfway across the country

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 2:08 PM
  • 9 Replies
1 mom liked this
Well, last week my son and his girlfriend moved to Salt Lake City. We live on the east coast. They drove and had a U-Haul trailer on the back of one vehicle. They were nice enough to ask me and the girlfriend's mom to help by driving with them and helping them get settled. It was an adventure with some serious mishaps (transmission problems, blown tire, etc.), but we all had a good time. But now I'm really missing them both.

I've tried not to call so they have some time together to settle in, etc. but I know I'm texting my son too much, etc. He's a grown man (24), but twice this week I've suddenly teared up when I thought about how long it will be before we can see them again. I know it's foolish, but it's just the thought that I can't jump in the car and be there within an hour or so. Silly, I know. I was never a helicopter parent when my son was growing up, but now I find myself wishing he wasn't so independent. We already have a daughter and her DH and kids in Texas we don't see often enough. The holidays this year will seem empty. Shit. Here come the tears!
by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 2:08 PM
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Replies (1-9):
jabs54
by Jeanine on Aug. 17, 2012 at 3:34 PM

 Awww, I'm sorry.  I would be really sad if my kids moved away :(  (((hugs)))

homeskoolmama
by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 4:06 PM

I'm sorry and don't apologize. You love your adult kids and miss them. You like me love them and sounds like you have a good relationship. Call once a week. Text every few days. Don't over do and relax. He will be fine. You might want to take up a hobby to keep you busy. I'm preaching to myself here as well ;-)

hugss
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by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 4:37 PM

Aww hugs to you,
Try to plan something ahead f time for the holidays so you aren't alone.
Either invite them *home* or go to one of the kids places .
Hang in there & I'v been there so kind of know how you feel :)

emptynstr
by Leanne on Aug. 17, 2012 at 4:41 PM

 {{hugs}} many of us are waiting for the "I'll be home for the holidays" call

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Aug. 17, 2012 at 4:47 PM

I am sorry you are missing your kids so much (((hugs)))

CoeyG
by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 5:28 PM

So find something else to keep you occupied.  Check your local colleges and take a class or two in something that interests you.  It doesn't have to be for a degree, but for your own personal enrichment.  Learn a new hobby or sport, join a bowling league, a book club.  If you belong to a church or other religious organization join their women's groups, voluneer in soup kitchens or food banks.  Check your local Salvation army or Hospice Thrift stores see if they need help for a couple hours a day.  If you enjoy animals volunteer at an animal shelter, if you enjoy small children volunteer at your local library to be a "story lady" or just to help out.  

Marinefranksmom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2012 at 9:02 PM

I can so totally relate to this.  My son is my only child & we've always been a close family.  When he was 20 he enlisted in the Marines.  I remember the day he left for boot camp; I cried for 2 weeks!  Not a day goes by since that I haven't missed him or worried about him, never mind that he graduated with honors from boot camp, served with distinction in both Iraq & Afghanistan and is now married, 26,  & the father of a 17 month old adorable little boy, and is a police officer. But he lives 600 miles away & though he calls regularly & we've been able to visit back & forth a couple of times a year, I still miss him terribly & now I miss my grandson & my lovely DIL who we are still getting to know.   How I deal with the distance is to keep myself very busy which I've been doing since he left.  Also, I recognize that they are doing well where they are.  My DIL has friends & family nearby, they are very nice, & my son has many of his Marine buddies & their families nearby. It's also much cheaper for them to live where they are. There are many opportunities for advancing his career in the area & good schools in their town.  They can also go to the beach all year round & if we don't decide to retire there, it's a great place to take a time share for a few weeks.  They are also 4 hrs from Walt Disney World.  So try to look on the bright side, stay occupied, & stay in touch with your son & his girlfriend & try to see them whenever you can.  Having Skype or Facetime & Facebook helps too. Good luck!

LoriDeen
by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 10:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you, everyone for being so supportive and kind!  I'm keeping busy with my job and am going to join some new activities this fall to keep me occupied. I think I"m going to start writing letters to my son, too. The old-fashioned kind, because he once said he always looked forward to getting mail that wasn't bills!

moving
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 8:22 AM

 

Aww - sounds really hard for you!  I can't imagine though how excited you will get to see them again when the time comes...'Grown Man' at 24 - from my perspective he is just still a baby boo frankly!  So you go ahead and feel exactly how you feel sounds so normal and so sad to me!

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