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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

When you hardly ever see your grandchild, it isn't wrong to indulge her, is it?

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:01 PM
  • 156 Replies

She and I were in a bookstore today, killing time while her mom tried on some clothes, and she wanted everything around (age 7), so I said no, no, but in the end bought her a toy that I thought would be used more than once and discarded. I don't have a lot of experience with the grandma thing. What do you do when the child wants everything she sees?

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CoeyG
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:03 PM
6 moms liked this

You say "I'll wait and ask your mother" Or "No" Frankly if it were me I would have purchaed her a book rather than a toy.  

Bmat
by Barb on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:08 PM

I thought about a book, and they even had 10 books for $10. But I didn't see any that caught my attention. You are right, though, that's what I should have done.

Quoting CoeyG:

You say "I'll wait and ask your mother" Or "No" Frankly if it were me I would have purchaed her a book rather than a toy.  


batmansgirl
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:11 PM
10 moms liked this

I do indulge, I'm Nana so I can. :)

nana9106
by Darlene on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:14 PM
17 moms liked this

 I am a firm believer in "spoil them rotten and send them home". I am the grandma, I don't have to say no unless I want to or it is something I have been asked not to do. So, I say if you wanted to get her a toy, then it is OK, As long as you don't go overboard, which it sounds like you kept a limit of one toy.

EireLass
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:15 PM

Riley's only 19 months, so he's not at the "I want" stage. I only see him about 3 times/year, so I have indulged, not much, because he's just a baby still. But Mom doesn't have any issue with me 'spoiling' him.

CoeyG
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 5:26 PM
3 moms liked this


Quoting Bmat:

I thought about a book, and they even had 10 books for $10. But I didn't see any that caught my attention. You are right, though, that's what I should have done.

Quoting CoeyG:

You say "I'll wait and ask your mother" Or "No" Frankly if it were me I would have purchaed her a book rather than a toy.  


It's not your attention a kid's book has to capture.  She should be able to pick out her own.  

mac1940
by Mary Ann on Aug. 23, 2012 at 6:38 PM
4 moms liked this

Grandmothers rights include indulging - at least within reason.

EireLass
by Gold Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 7:49 PM
14 moms liked this

I met Riley when he was 6 month's old. He's now 19 months. His Mom is my step-daughter. When I first met him (they live in FLA, we lived in MA, now ME)....I talked to her about this. What did she approve of, what did she want for him from me, etc. She said she was very comfortable with me as her Mother (she's never referred to me as step), so she knows I'll only have Riley's best interests at heart. A few times I've asked her if he can have this or that....mostly food related at this point.....she has always said "just do what you'd like, I know you do things safely and healthy. I gave him his first ice cream cone, his first cupcake, etc. My own kids didn't have this until they were older. But she's fine with it. I mentioned it to a couple people and they all said "Oh, the Grandparents have indulging rights" hahaha. Alot of it I think has to do with your relationship with the parent of the child. If you speak to them as the parent, and respect them as the parent, and understand boundaries....things can go well.

Esmrlda
by Esme on Aug. 23, 2012 at 7:57 PM

 I dont have a grandchild but sometimes I feel as though in my case the grandparent (MiL)  will go out and buy the grandchild anything they want.  Well what if that child is on restriction for not doing something at home or didnt earn any rewards for that week for being disrespectful and the grandma knows this but goes and buys her something anyway disregarding the parents wishes and making the child feel like what ever pushment she had dosent matter. 

KittyGram
by Becky on Aug. 23, 2012 at 8:14 PM
1 mom liked this

At age 7, it's very typical for them to want everything that they see.  Although my Riley, who will be 7 in January, really isn't bad.  Usually she asks for nothing for herself, but she frequently asks if she can buy flowers for her mom.  

It's not right to over-indulge her, but I see nothing wrong with buying her a little something.  As Coey said, though, my own choice would have been a book over a toy - but I know how many toys these kids already have!!!!!!!!   

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