My home is a battle zone and I am caught in the crossfire!
I need help! We have three adult children living at home. Two are our of high school and one is a senior. The two older ones are constantly disrespecting our home and it is causing HAVOCK! My husband is a yeller and he is tired of the frustrating lack of respect. They don't do much around the house. One doesn't work and refuses to help my husband with his business. If he does nag him out of bed to go to work with him he mopes around and makes it miserable. He hates working with his dad, so he does the work half heartedly (at best). This causes friction between the two of them. They don't want to do much at home, only the BARE minimum after we nag for several days. This afternoon my husband and I went to a movie and when we came home our 19 almost 20 year old was watching one television downstairs and his t.v. was on in his room (lights and t.v.'s are husband's pet peeve and has ALWAYS been an issue with our kids) when he went in to turn it off he noticed that he also had left on a room space heater on high and the upstairs airconditioner was on full blast too! My husband started yelling and my son looked at him like he was a mental patient and said something like, "it's not that big of a deal, just turn it off!" Shit hit the fan! My husband started yelling and screaming and waving his arms around screaming, "HOW MANY TIMES...??? He was cussing and ranting and my son stood there with a smirk, eyes glazed over, etc. He cussed back and I was in the middle trying to calm my husband down and explain his frustration to my son. I thought they were going to come to blows! My husband looked foolish and laughable but I understand his frustration. My son is graduated from high school, working, living at home for free, spending his money like water, and paying nothing. I am caught in the middle and I don't know what to do?? I don't think that it's okay for my husband to verbally abuse my son, but asking, reminding, reasoning, all those things don't work. They still come and go when they want, don't pull their weight around the house, and expect us to be fine with that and get upset when we "nag" about everything. Any advice??