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Work/Friend Vent

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:32 PM
  • 14 Replies

 Business in the motorcycle industry tends to take a nosedive in the winter months so my boss told me earlier this week that he is cutting down employee hours by one day a week.  So instead of getting 40 hours a week, I would be getting 32.  This is one of the reasons that I took a part-time job- so that I wouldn't feel the crunch quite so bad. 

Well, I work in the service department, but I am cross-trained in the parts department so that I am able to help them out when necessary.  The parts manager just gave his 2 week notice so my boss calls me into the office and asks me if I would work in parts on Mondays.  Of course, I jumped on this because that means that I could keep my 40 hour work week.  It was very good news for me and it made me feel good that the boss felt confident enough in me to ask me to do it.

One of my good friends works here as well.  She has a completely different job from me and makes a significant amount of money more than I.  That doesn't bother me in the least, however, she begrudges anything that benefits me.  When she had found out that I got a raise last year, she was very upset because she hadn't gotten a raise even though she had asked.  Keep in mind that she is probably one of the higher paid employees here.  I had worked here for 2 years before getting a raise and I deserved it.  I work hard and am very reliable.  Now today, I told her about my good news and she started ranting and raving about it.  I called her out on it and asked her why she couldn't even be happy for me and she just patted me on the shoulder and said, I forgot, it's all about you...!!!!! I was appalled.  First of all, she doesn't even work 40 hours a week now!!!  She rarely comes in on Fridays and when she does, it is only for a morning meeting and then she leaves.  The only way that this reduction even affects her is that it is a Monday instead of Friday.  Second of all, she is married and they share paying the bills.  I am single- living with just my 19 year old, and while he helps, he certainly isn't paying the lion's share or even half.  Which is fine- I don't expect him to.  Finally, I think I am just frustrated because I am her sounding board for everything and even if I start a conversation about something going on in my life, she brings it around to her issues or what's going on with her.  There are so many good things about her and I love her unconditionally, but I am just so frustrated.  How do you deal with someone that is so narcissistic?  How do you respond when someone has so much more than you do, however, seems to not like it when positive things happen to you?  My feelings are truly hurt. 


by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 4:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:06 PM

 Amy- I'm sorry she treated you that way. That's great about the job, though. All I know is that there always seems to be someone who wants to one-up another person. I think maybe she is secretly insecure or something. Maybe avoid her!

by Esme on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:17 PM

 I would be hurt too and pissed!    That was so rude of her not to take your feelings into consideration by saying "Its all about you"  Why couldnt she just listen and be supportive.  I bet you rarely ever need any type of affirmations or praise as it is.          Im sorry.    I know how you feel. I know someone like this, I just dont tell her anything and avoid her when I can but that would be harder for you since you work with her.  I think next time she wants your ear or shoulder..... your just going to have to tell her how you feel. She may never get it tho.  Good luck and keep us posted.  

So the boss came to you! you rock

by Mary Ann on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:46 PM

Glad you got the hours, but so sorry your "good friend" could not have reacted in a much more positive, happy for you way.  I would have been so very hurt had I been you. 

by Amy on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:49 PM

 Thank you.  She can be great to be around and she is a generous person.  However, she gets defensive if you even try to talk about some of these things...

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:50 PM

Obviously she is jealous of your good fortune.  It is sad that she finds it difficult to be happy that you are getting a raise as well.  Don't let her get to you, she obviously isn't worthy of frustraton. 

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 7:48 PM

Sorry this is happening to you. Glad you get to keep your 40 hours a week. yay for that.

Your  friend, is like my sissy/bff. She is selfish, self centered and a user. She is only for you when what affects you affects her and if you are not  for her, she is not for you. She is only for her, not you. She may have some good qualities, but like myself, I have to ask you this quesiton. What do you get from this relationship? Does she meet any of your needs? Does she support you emotionally? Does she encourage you? If the answers are no, she is NOT a friend and you need to move on.

by Louann on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:15 PM

 I'm sorry your "friend" is acting like this.  I had one like this for most of my life.  I cut her completely out of my life.  I don't need people like that.  If you're my friend you support me, care for me, listen to me and WANT me to do well.  If you don't....then I don't know who you are and don't care.  Ya know?  Either way....I'm so sorry.  Congrats to you on not losing any hours and I hope they offer you something even better before it's all over!!  lol  :)

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:32 PM

you state that "One of my good friends works here as well".  She is not your friend, and does not deserve to have you as one of her friends.  She is petty, jealous, and will not change.   I have worked with women like her, as well as knowing some in other aspects of life.  It sounds like the only thing you can do is not share anything with this woman, and if she makes comments, tell her you are busy.  She will eventually get the message. 

by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 12:07 AM

Good you did get those extra hours like that Amy,
I have found there are some people that no matter what .. it's all about them.

They always end up turning any conversation to be about them
I am sorry your friend did this to you.
I wish she would get it but sounds like she is always like this :(

by Amy on Oct. 12, 2012 at 1:07 AM
Thank you, ladies, for replying! All of you gave me food for thought and also made me smile and feel good about the positive things going on right now at work. I believe I will back off a little. I have decided that I won't be telling her any work-related stuff at all!! I do want to tell you that she did apologize to me later, though. She said she had been up since 4 a.m. and was grouchy. I thanked her for apologizing because it did mean something to me that she owned up to her behavior...that is rare!
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