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I'm a bad Mother VERY LONG SORRY

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM
  • 9 Replies

My 24 year old Son frequently accuses me of NOT listening to him.I'm afraid he is right.  I try he is always putting others down. I cannot listen to MY son when he does.on top of that I feel totally intimidated by him.I feel stupid he uses words that I do not understand.He is always looking up the meaning of words he hears. I have WAY TOO much on my mind. I have been under SO much stress for one person. I have been unemployed for over a year with NO unemployment benefits, I am divorced and My only source of income right now is my alimony payments I get when my Ex decides to pay it.I'm always chasing after it. My younger Sister passed away not too long ago she removed herself from the family, me, my older Sister, Aunts, Uncles,Cousins. And left the house our parents left her because she never Married nor held a job to this so called priest who parented her many years ago to disown her family. He told me personally  she cooks and cleans for me NOT your mother.She treated our sick mother cruelly you cannot imagibe what she had done.currently my LandLord wants me evicted why? I dont know why. My Sons Girlfriend came to visit occasionally  and stood the weekend. The girl lives in PA My landlord insists she lives here.                        

On top of that My older Sister owes me Money and refuses to pay it back. she works I do not. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia  so I'm in constant pain.Now My Son is telling me my Daughter is on cocaine why? because one time she spoke to him and she stumbled her words. My daughter lives in GA going to college taking Psychology.And lives with her fiance.I have not seen her in 2 years she doesn't have the money to fly here and vise verse.My daughter does not or ever got along with her Father for very good reason.She has no interest in speaking to him.He has not made a single effort since we got divorced 7 yrs ago..No birthday calls from him to her. No calls for ANY HOLIDAY and no gifts.How can I listen to my son making these accusations about his sister? He never went to college and I pay his Car insurance plus cell phone. In the past he took my computer opened the lid  and whacked it over his knee It cost me 800 to repair it. He did give me 400 but has never paid the rest saying I didn't write a letter to him about paying it back to me. I make him dinner and lunch to take to work. he has called me in the past everything from me being fat, stupid and tells me I'm not looking for a job. calls me the C word.I don't like how he treats his GF he NEVER laid a hand on her but he speaks to her in a degrading manner I think and tell him so AND have told her so too.He tells me "I'm your Son you should stick up for me or shut your mouth about relationships YOUR DIVORVED.I might add His Father still 7 years later speaks badly of me. He Cheated on me and He filed divorced siting EXTREME cruelty. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Just because my Daughter isnt here does not mean she is on Cocaine. She never did drugs, My Son has.Do I ask her straight up? If I were her I would find that offensive.I suck at life I cannot seem to make anyone happy.

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:40 PM
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Replies (1-9):
NEISA50
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:07 PM
2 moms liked this

WOW! you are really in a bad situation, if i was you i would not be paying anything for your son or helping him out. how can you listen to him when he talks to you that way, he needs to leave and live some where else. as far as your daughter depending on your relationship with her just ask her without arguing if she uses drugs just tell  her why you are asking. your husband is a jerk he cut out and left you with the kids including your son who acts probably like his father. what the hell does he need attention for doesn't he sees that his mother needs him and then maybe if he treated you better you can listen to him, don't keep kicking yourself over him or your ex asshole and if your daughter lets say tells you she uses cocaine there is nothing you can do but ask her why or to stop and it's up to her,when they become adults especially when they move out it's out of your control. don't say you suck at life you have done probably the best you can, you have put up with their crap and it's sad that you can't live your life peacefully, tell your son to move out to go live with his father who he is just alike with or go on his own, he has no right to degrade you and throw things in your face to hurt you. i am going to request you as a friend if you don't mind so that way when you need to talk i am here. i will also have you in my prayers, no more degrading yourself , you are a woman in that alone is a tremondous position and role we have just being a woman, 

xoch86
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:17 PM
Yup.. My son would be out on his ass real fast. I wouldn't even bother ur daughter with his none sense. If ur really getting evicted, move, but do it on ur own. That kid needs a reality check really bad
kuntrylady56
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

As I don't know you personally and am only going by what you put in your post the only thing I think you need to be worrying about is getting away from your abusive and disrespectful son ASAP. 

You're looking at being evicted and with no income coming in besides sporratic alimony checks.Is your son working? Is he able to support himself if you move out on your own or kick his ass out?  Maybe speak to your landlord and explain your situation and ask if son is out of the picture could you stay?

Your daughter is on her own and making a life for herself away from the craziness.I believe you need to take stock of whats important to you and don't blame yourself for your sons actions.  Your children are old enough to be on their own. Its now time for you to have a life and be happy!

Don't be to proud o ask your family for help,if your sister owes you money explain to her you NEED IT NOW! Or tell her she might have you sleeping on her front doorstep! 

You sound like you desperatly need someone to talk to and maybe some professional counseling also. Start taking care of yourself don't worry about your ungrateful son,it sounds like he thinks of only one prson and thats himself!

Will be keeping you in my prayers and if you would like to talk to somebody just message me.

hugss
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by on Oct. 16, 2012 at 12:04 AM

I agree with this,
Hugs to you hon & we're here for you :)

Quoting kuntrylady56:

As I don't know you personally and am only going by what you put in your post the only thing I think you need to be worrying about is getting away from your abusive and disrespectful son ASAP. 

You're looking at being evicted and with no income coming in besides sporratic alimony checks.Is your son working? Is he able to support himself if you move out on your own or kick his ass out?  Maybe speak to your landlord and explain your situation and ask if son is out of the picture could you stay?

Your daughter is on her own and making a life for herself away from the craziness.I believe you need to take stock of whats important to you and don't blame yourself for your sons actions.  Your children are old enough to be on their own. Its now time for you to have a life and be happy!

Don't be to proud o ask your family for help,if your sister owes you money explain to her you NEED IT NOW! Or tell her she might have you sleeping on her front doorstep! 

You sound like you desperatly need someone to talk to and maybe some professional counseling also. Start taking care of yourself don't worry about your ungrateful son,it sounds like he thinks of only one prson and thats himself!

Will be keeping you in my prayers and if you would like to talk to somebody just message me.



Join us at
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EireLass
by Gold Member on Oct. 16, 2012 at 6:21 AM
2 moms liked this

You need to kick your son out, and stop paying any of his bills. The best way would be to move and get a small 1 bedroom or studio apartment that would be more affordable to you. If you feel close to your daughter, maybe go live in that area.

jabs54
by Jeanine on Oct. 16, 2012 at 3:41 PM

 Oooooo, if my son called me the C word he would be locked out!  I'm sorry you lost your job.  I hope you can find another one soon and you can live by yourself.   I would not bring anything up to your dd about what your son is saying about her.  (((hugs)))

SimpleComSense
by on Oct. 16, 2012 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Ditto!  Very well said.  You are not a bad mom...what you are is a victim of domestic abuse.  I suspect you have been for the better part of your life.  You need to get professional help and by that I mean, therapy and/or support groups that deal with domestic abuse and self-esteem.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you but, the only person who can put an end to it...is you. Please...don't take it anymore!!

Quoting kuntrylady56:

As I don't know you personally and am only going by what you put in your post the only thing I think you need to be worrying about is getting away from your abusive and disrespectful son ASAP. 

You're looking at being evicted and with no income coming in besides sporratic alimony checks.Is your son working? Is he able to support himself if you move out on your own or kick his ass out?  Maybe speak to your landlord and explain your situation and ask if son is out of the picture could you stay?

Your daughter is on her own and making a life for herself away from the craziness.I believe you need to take stock of whats important to you and don't blame yourself for your sons actions.  Your children are old enough to be on their own. Its now time for you to have a life and be happy!

Don't be to proud o ask your family for help,if your sister owes you money explain to her you NEED IT NOW! Or tell her she might have you sleeping on her front doorstep! 

You sound like you desperatly need someone to talk to and maybe some professional counseling also. Start taking care of yourself don't worry about your ungrateful son,it sounds like he thinks of only one prson and thats himself!

Will be keeping you in my prayers and if you would like to talk to somebody just message me.


Bmat
by Barb on Oct. 16, 2012 at 4:02 PM

It is time to get away from your son. Even if you have to go to a home for abused wives.

Tink61
by Member on Oct. 16, 2012 at 9:23 PM

I believe he is Jealous of my Daughter. She is in college and will be getting married. This is the only thing I can think of. Now I find out he is going through the family telling everyone this lie. If she finds out I hate to know what will happen. She is independent, he is needy.I hate to say it but he is all his father the only differance is I dont have the Money His parents have and cannot buy my kuds houses like their Grandparents by their Father

Quoting Tink61:

My 24 year old Son frequently accuses me of NOT listening to him.I'm afraid he is right.  I try he is always putting others down. I cannot listen to MY son when he does.on top of that I feel totally intimidated by him.I feel stupid he uses words that I do not understand.He is always looking up the meaning of words he hears. I have WAY TOO much on my mind. I have been under SO much stress for one person. I have been unemployed for over a year with NO unemployment benefits, I am divorced and My only source of income right now is my alimony payments I get when my Ex decides to pay it.I'm always chasing after it. My younger Sister passed away not too long ago she removed herself from the family, me, my older Sister, Aunts, Uncles,Cousins. And left the house our parents left her because she never Married nor held a job to this so called priest who parented her many years ago to disown her family. He told me personally  she cooks and cleans for me NOT your mother.She treated our sick mother cruelly you cannot imagibe what she had done.currently my LandLord wants me evicted why? I dont know why. My Sons Girlfriend came to visit occasionally  and stood the weekend. The girl lives in PA My landlord insists she lives here.                        

On top of that My older Sister owes me Money and refuses to pay it back. she works I do not. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia  so I'm in constant pain.Now My Son is telling me my Daughter is on cocaine why? because one time she spoke to him and she stumbled her words. My daughter lives in GA going to college taking Psychology.And lives with her fiance.I have not seen her in 2 years she doesn't have the money to fly here and vise verse.My daughter does not or ever got along with her Father for very good reason.She has no interest in speaking to him.He has not made a single effort since we got divorced 7 yrs ago..No birthday calls from him to her. No calls for ANY HOLIDAY and no gifts.How can I listen to my son making these accusations about his sister? He never went to college and I pay his Car insurance plus cell phone. In the past he took my computer opened the lid  and whacked it over his knee It cost me 800 to repair it. He did give me 400 but has never paid the rest saying I didn't write a letter to him about paying it back to me. I make him dinner and lunch to take to work. he has called me in the past everything from me being fat, stupid and tells me I'm not looking for a job. calls me the C word.I don't like how he treats his GF he NEVER laid a hand on her but he speaks to her in a degrading manner I think and tell him so AND have told her so too.He tells me "I'm your Son you should stick up for me or shut your mouth about relationships YOUR DIVORVED.I might add His Father still 7 years later speaks badly of me. He Cheated on me and He filed divorced siting EXTREME cruelty. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Just because my Daughter isnt here does not mean she is on Cocaine. She never did drugs, My Son has.Do I ask her straight up? If I were her I would find that offensive.I suck at life I cannot seem to make anyone happy.


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