The holidays are coming up and I have a bit of a dilemma. My son (25) has over the years brought home a few women he has dated, but nothing truly serious. When he started dating Renee, I sensed early on that it was serious. I even imagined that they might marry one day. That didn't happen, but they did move across the country together. I know they love each other but they have both said that marriage isn't a priority.
So Christmas is coming along with family get-togethers. In my mind, Renee has the same status as a daughter-in-law. She lives with and is building a life with my son. But my mother doesn't look at Renee that way. This wouldn't be a problem, except that she always has a big family Christmas and gives wonderful gifts to all her grandchildren and their spouses. She has told me that she will be giving a significant gift to my son, but it would be a personal gift for HIM. She said she'd get a "token" gift for Renee. I understand that she is from an older generation and feels that marriage is sacred, but I know that Renee will be hurt by my mother's actions. I also understand that it would be difficult to change my mother's point of view...so is there anything I can do to make this situation better?