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I miss my daughter and I hate her boyfriend

Posted by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:11 PM
  • 35 Replies

My 19 year old daughter is in a relationship with a boy who Her father and I really dislike.

He will not come to our home because he knows we do not like him, so my daughter spends most of her time at his house...sleeps there most nights....she is in college and comes "home" on weekends to his home and never comes to see us. It breaks my heart and I was hoping the relationship would end when she started college(she is a freshman), but here it is almost Thanksgiving and they are still going strong...

She gets very defensive and mad when we try to talk to her about this unhealthy relationship she is in.

Help!!! I miss my daughter!

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mariagma3
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:16 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you sure you can't try to tolerate her b/f so your daughter will be more comfortable coming around your home? I know you feel how you feel, and that's valid. But, I'm wondering if this isn't a case where you may need to pick your battles. You know the saying: You don't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater.... Good luck!

Moehan
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:21 PM

I am starting to think that way but my husband is adament he does not want the kid coming around.

And my daughter says the kid wont come here to our home.


PinkButterfly66
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:39 PM
3 moms liked this

Stop being judgemental.  Unless the boy beats her, controls her or demeans her, then you need to be accepting of her boyfriend.  She is freezing you out because you disapprove of her boyfriend.  Exactly what did you expect?  You're pushing her away.  Open your house and arms to her boyfriend.  If he really is the loser you think he is, she'll figure it out eventually.  Either way, it's her life and she needs to live it and make her own mistakes.  If you want a relationship with her, you need to recognize that and allow her to grow up.

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 7:46 PM
^^^^ AGREED
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jabs54
by Jeanine on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:42 PM

 Can I ask exactly what it is about him you don't like???

busygramma4
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:13 PM
1 mom liked this

She's an adult now and can pick who she wants to be with. The more you push and hassle her the more she 's going to push away. She knows how you feel so now let it drop and let her live her life and make her own mistakes. This is how she will learn, be responsible and grow up. As much as we don't wat to see our children hurt, sometimes they have to gorw thru it.


                   x_3d29ceab                       

PestPatti
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 9:53 PM


    My mother, my father and my friends EXTREMELY disliked my oldest son's father from the start.  The more they complained the more I was drawn to him.  

   Figure out a way, for everyone's sake.  Sometimes detente is the only solution.  Good luck.  

DesignGirl450
by Lynda on Nov. 13, 2012 at 10:39 PM

What is that you and your husband don't like about him?  

Shellness
by Michell on Nov. 14, 2012 at 1:45 AM

So many of us know how you feel. All you can do is give good advice and hope she listens. Its up to her now and sometimes they learn the hard way. Sorry :(

CoeyG
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 2:57 AM
1 mom liked this

So what is "unhealthy" about the relationship other than you don't like the guy?  Your daughter is an adult and as such she is entitled to see whomever she chooses whether you like him or not.  I suggest you try to learn to tolerate him, who knows he may someday be the father of your grandchildren.  Your intolerance is what is keeping her away, not him.  

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