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Why does our adult son hate us?

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 3:20 PM
  • 96 Replies
1 mom liked this

He never comes around unless he needs help or money. He's on our car insurance otherwise he can't afford it.(we do not pay for it) He keeps getting parking tickets (that he pays for) in our name but my DH just keeps letting it slide (doesn't get made about it). My step-son lives with his mom just a mile down the street. He's 21. Is this normal? I don't remember doing this to my mom. I at least called her twice a week, this kid never even calls.


Edit:

DS pays for his insurance, tuition, car tags, repairs, job related items etc....goes to school 5-6 hours per day and words as a shift manager at Jamba Juice going on 3 years.

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 3:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LadySaphira
by Lisa on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:39 PM
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I would take the car out of my name and him of the insurance. He needs to stand on his own two feet and be respocible for his own actions.

2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:43 PM

We've already started that in to motion. 

Why does he acts like he hates us?

He's not mean or rude, he just never comes around or calls and doesn't seem to care about getting parking tickets and not paying for them until the fines are high. 

Quoting LadySaphira:

I would take the car out of my name and him of the insurance. He needs to stand on his own two feet and be respocible for his own actions.


atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:43 PM
Make him responsible. Give him 3 months to find insurance and pay for it. Put the car in his name. Make him pay for parking tickets. You are not doing him any favors.
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atlmom2
by Susie on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:44 PM
He's a guy, and girls are more caring.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:48 PM

We've already started that in to motion. 

Why does he acts like he hates us?

He's not mean or rude, he just never comes around or calls and doesn't seem to care about getting parking tickets and not paying for them until the fines are high because they are in our name.


Quoting atlmom2:

Make him responsible. Give him 3 months to find insurance and pay for it. Put the car in his name. Make him pay for parking tickets. You are not doing him any favors.


Esmrlda
by Esme on Nov. 16, 2012 at 4:50 PM

 I would get the car out of your names. Put it in his name and let him pay for his own parking tickets and insurance.  It seems pretty common that boys this age seem to do their own thing.

EireLass
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 5:00 PM

My son (33) is being a piss-ant to me right now. I'm not financially supporting him or anything. But he hasn't been speaking to me in awhile. Oh well...he'll get over himself and come forward, I'm not worried.

2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 5:08 PM

So once we do this he won't hate us anymore? Please explain.




Quoting Esmrlda:

 I would get the car out of your names. Put it in his name and let him pay for his own parking tickets and insurance.  It seems pretty common that boys this age seem to do their own thing.


2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 5:09 PM

But why do they act this way? 

We are good parents, when he was home he was loving and kind, and now..he's a butthole!

Quoting EireLass:

My son (33) is being a piss-ant to me right now. I'm not financially supporting him or anything. But he hasn't been speaking to me in awhile. Oh well...he'll get over himself and come forward, I'm not worried.


EireLass
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 5:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I was always very close with my son (both my kids). It started after he got married. Everyone tells me it's his wife. I think they say that to make me feel good, which it doesn't. She never really spoke to me unless she absolutely had to. He was never like this when he was dating any other gal, and not while dating her or engaged to her, only after they married. I'm not blaming her, he's 33, he's an adult. I think he struggles with loyalties, love, etc....how can he love his mom and his wife, etc. And of course his father isn't helping the situation (we've been divorced since he was 11).

I never had my kids on my insurance or anything like that. I refused to even though I knew it would be a financial break for them. Too big of a liability for me.

When you do take him off your insurance and everything, he will be very angry.

Quoting 2Birds1Stone:

But why do they act this way? 

We are good parents, when he was home he was loving and kind, and now..he's a butthole!

Quoting EireLass:

My son (33) is being a piss-ant to me right now. I'm not financially supporting him or anything. But he hasn't been speaking to me in awhile. Oh well...he'll get over imself and come forward, I'm not worried.


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