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And....................................he's gone....

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Just as I had predicted...  He is just as immature.  He knows how to be a great play buddy, but as a father he really sucks. 

My dd ex.  he was here for two weeks.  that's it. that's all the longer he can "hang out"  even after promising the kids that he was never going to leave them.  gone gone gone.  Oh yeah and telling my dd that "she was gonna get what she deserved"...  because she told him that they should probably go to court and get visitation taken care of if he was planning on going away again.   He decided to tell her that she was going to get what she deserved.  This was in a phone call at 1:30 in the morning.  so she called the cops.  The oldest grandson heard the entire thing.  He told me the next day that he really doesn't like daddy all that much right now.  In fact, the oldest was spening the night with me and hubby on Saturday, while the two younger ones were at home with thier mom, and Daddy came by to Mommys house to say good bye to the kids...  just the younger two, the oldest was left out AGAIN. 

And yes I am involved in my grandkids lives, and yes my dd had kids with this idiot. and yes I will continue to be involved in my gk and dd lives until the day i quit breathing, because I am me, mom & grandma. and because my dd needs the help because the dad is such a freaking loser.  Her life I know, but those babies need to know that they are loved, something daddy is really having a hard time doing, So if I step up to fill that void, Then so be it.  NO matter how bad I want this POS to dissapear and just stay out of the kids lives because all he does is hurt them.  I'm just so sick and tired of it....

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 5:32 PM
Replies (21-30):
Bmat
by Barb on Nov. 27, 2012 at 1:30 PM

I am sorry for the children, and for you and your daughter.  I've had people swear they were going to change, and then a few weeks later, they were back to the way they were before.  So I've learned to be wary when someone says they are going to change.

jabs54
by Jeanine on Nov. 27, 2012 at 2:53 PM

 I'm sorry...again :(

KittyGram
by Becky on Nov. 27, 2012 at 4:03 PM

Again, I totally agree.  My daughter has to hound CS enforcement when it comes to Ramona's father.  Who is another POS.  They are sometimes very slow to respond and act upon the hounding, but if she doesn't hound, then NOTHING happens. 

 

Quoting CoeyG:

The thing is, your daughter has to keep hounding the courts over the Child support.  His not visiting his kids the kids will figure out on their own.  Just because there is an order of visitation doesn't mean he has to visit, that order is there to keep her from not allowing him to visit when it is his time and he shows up.  You have got to stop dwelling on the fact that he pops in and out and just focus on the children instead.  What he does is what he does and probably what he is going to continue to do.  All of your complainin and bitching about him isn't going to change him.  He is what he is and sad as it is this is the man your daughter chose to make babies with.  What you can do is help her with the fight to get CS and caring for the children.  In otherwords stop expecing him to be the father you think he should be to your grand children and face the fact that this is the type of father he is and always will be.  You will have fewer headacyes if you just let it go. 

 

CoeyG
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 4:17 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting KittyGram:

Again, I totally agree.  My daughter has to hound CS enforcement when it comes to Ramona's father.  Who is another POS.  They are sometimes very slow to respond and act upon the hounding, but if she doesn't hound, then NOTHING happens. 

 

Quoting CoeyG:

The thing is, your daughter has to keep hounding the courts over the Child support.  His not visiting his kids the kids will figure out on their own.  Just because there is an order of visitation doesn't mean he has to visit, that order is there to keep her from not allowing him to visit when it is his time and he shows up.  You have got to stop dwelling on the fact that he pops in and out and just focus on the children instead.  What he does is what he does and probably what he is going to continue to do.  All of your complainin and bitching about him isn't going to change him.  He is what he is and sad as it is this is the man your daughter chose to make babies with.  What you can do is help her with the fight to get CS and caring for the children.  In otherwords stop expecing him to be the father you think he should be to your grand children and face the fact that this is the type of father he is and always will be.  You will have fewer headacyes if you just let it go. 

 

My mom had a friend who left her with three kids, he ran off to Hawaii with a "Sugar Mama" and when he actually paid his child supoort was a time of celebration .  Mom's friend was at the DA's office at least twice a month and she was constantly contacting her lawyer.  She even started taking data entry classes then took the state test and got a job in the state welfare offices so she could know exactly how things ran and that way she was better "armed" to continue her battle. She finally got just about everything he owed in back CS when for some reason he just had to see "his girls" after they were all full grown adults, he paid for their transportation to and from Hawaii (they demanded first class both ways), He wined them and dined them purchased a luxury car for one and had it shopped home before she left.  He bought them all designer label wardrobes, and (yuck) fur coats.  He also gave them each a very large check along with other gifts of jewerly, etc.  When they got back home they sold the car, the jewelry, the fur coats and the clothing, took that plus the checks he gave them to the bank, had a bank draft made in the total amount and took it to their mother and presented it to her...the back child support was fainally paid.  The girls knew how he was all along and were waiting for the day when he would want to see them...he tried to contact them again and all three of them refused his calls and letters...

KittyGram
by Becky on Nov. 27, 2012 at 6:27 PM

 

Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting KittyGram:

Quoting CoeyG:

 

My mom had a friend who left her with three kids, he ran off to Hawaii with a "Sugar Mama" and when he actually paid his child supoort was a time of celebration .  Mom's friend was at the DA's office at least twice a month and she was constantly contacting her lawyer.  She even started taking data entry classes then took the state test and got a job in the state welfare offices so she could know exactly how things ran and that way she was better "armed" to continue her battle. She finally got just about everything he owed in back CS when for some reason he just had to see "his girls" after they were all full grown adults, he paid for their transportation to and from Hawaii (they demanded first class both ways), He wined them and dined them purchased a luxury car for one and had it shopped home before she left.  He bought them all designer label wardrobes, and (yuck) fur coats.  He also gave them each a very large check along with other gifts of jewerly, etc.  When they got back home they sold the car, the jewelry, the fur coats and the clothing, took that plus the checks he gave them to the bank, had a bank draft made in the total amount and took it to their mother and presented it to her...the back child support was fainally paid.  The girls knew how he was all along and were waiting for the day when he would want to see them...he tried to contact them again and all three of them refused his calls and letters...

 Ha!!!  I love it!!!  See, this woman was not going to be a victim!!!!  I love that she (and then her daughters) did what she/they did!!!!!!

melissa959799
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds to me like you date a loser who doesn't pay for his kids. Op came here for support not to be bitched at by a Bitch who is either dating a dead beat loser or you raised a dead beat loser.


Quoting CoeyG:

The thing is, your daughter has to keep hounding the courts over the Child support.  His not visiting his kids the kids will figure out on their own.  Just because there is an order of visitation doesn't mean he has to visit, that order is there to keep her from not allowing him to visit when it is his time and he shows up.  You have got to stop dwelling on the fact that he pops in and out and just focus on the children instead.  What he does is what he does and probably what he is going to continue to do.  All of your complainin and bitching about him isn't going to change him.  He is what he is and sad as it is this is the man your daughter chose to make babies with.  What you can do is help her with the fight to get CS and caring for the children.  In otherwords stop expecing him to be the father you think he should be to your grand children and face the fact that this is the type of father he is and always will be.  You will have fewer headacyes if you just let it go. 


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Rileyscute
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:55 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughters father walked out when I was 7 months pregnant..never was around..and completely disappeared for the most part after he and his 2nd wife divorced (my daughter still saw her step mom for visits though!). It's hard..my husband stepped up..and has always tried his best to be a good dad to her.(and has been) It hurt me that she was hurt..but after awhile..well it has faded...I didn't talk bad about him, I always let her know I was there, as well as her 'step' dad...she did eventually question why (after 18)..I explained it the best I could...still never bad mouthed him..and what's done is done. You can't keep them from hurting..you can, however...be there. There isn't an easy answer, and I don't blame your daughter for wanting him to care...the best you can do is be supportive

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:08 PM

OMG.  of course - Melissa959799 is a newbie here ... but this made me laugh so hard I have tears running down my legs!  

Quoting melissa959799:

Sounds to me like you date a loser who doesn't pay for his kids. Op came here for support not to be bitched at by a Bitch who is either dating a dead beat loser or you raised a dead beat loser.


Quoting CoeyG:

The thing is, your daughter has to keep hounding the courts over the Child support.  His not visiting his kids the kids will figure out on their own.  Just because there is an order of visitation doesn't mean he has to visit, that order is there to keep her from not allowing him to visit when it is his time and he shows up.  You have got to stop dwelling on the fact that he pops in and out and just focus on the children instead.  What he does is what he does and probably what he is going to continue to do.  All of your complainin and bitching about him isn't going to change him.  He is what he is and sad as it is this is the man your daughter chose to make babies with.  What you can do is help her with the fight to get CS and caring for the children.  In otherwords stop expecing him to be the father you think he should be to your grand children and face the fact that this is the type of father he is and always will be.  You will have fewer headacyes if you just let it go. 



Mariagma3
by Silver Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:48 PM

I am so sorry he disappointed your grandkids. That really sucks! I think your daughter needs to follow through on getting child support and visitation. I have a feeling that this will become a revolving door situation. Unfortunately, kids at their age have kids, and have alot of growing up to do. Even while raising a child. My son and his son's Mom went through alot, but they finally pulled their heads out. Good luck to you! Stay in their lives, they all need you and your love! HUGS!

CoeyG
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:19 AM


Quoting KittyGram:

 

Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting KittyGram:

Quoting CoeyG:

 

My mom had a friend who left her with three kids, he ran off to Hawaii with a "Sugar Mama" and when he actually paid his child supoort was a time of celebration .  Mom's friend was at the DA's office at least twice a month and she was constantly contacting her lawyer.  She even started taking data entry classes then took the state test and got a job in the state welfare offices so she could know exactly how things ran and that way she was better "armed" to continue her battle. She finally got just about everything he owed in back CS when for some reason he just had to see "his girls" after they were all full grown adults, he paid for their transportation to and from Hawaii (they demanded first class both ways), He wined them and dined them purchased a luxury car for one and had it shopped home before she left.  He bought them all designer label wardrobes, and (yuck) fur coats.  He also gave them each a very large check along with other gifts of jewerly, etc.  When they got back home they sold the car, the jewelry, the fur coats and the clothing, took that plus the checks he gave them to the bank, had a bank draft made in the total amount and took it to their mother and presented it to her...the back child support was fainally paid.  The girls knew how he was all along and were waiting for the day when he would want to see them...he tried to contact them again and all three of them refused his calls and letters...

 Ha!!!  I love it!!!  See, this woman was not going to be a victim!!!!  I love that she (and then her daughters) did what she/they did!!!!!!

That is what I always loved about Chris she didn't let anything stand in her way..  I remember when the oldest of her daughters was six, she called up my mom crying because she had two dollars after all the bills were paid and there was no milk in the house.  She wasn't asking for money she was just upset.  My mom told her to come to our house for dinner at least.  So she did and when they left that evening she didn't take them straight home.  At 10:00 at night she showed up on Suga Mama's doorstep with all three girls and had them all sit down in a line on her velvet sofa (yes I said VELVET) and told them not to move until her father ether went to the store and got them  groceries so she could feed her kids until paid or he gave her  money...But daddy wasn't there.  Finally Suga mama went to her room and came out with $50 and gave it to Chris. 

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