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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Next Friday we go and pick up our daughter from college for Christmas break. Well her boyfriend is also at the same college and she is asking if he can come home with her for the whole 4 weeks since he has no family to speak of to spend the holiday's with.. I have no issues with her boyfriend he is a neat kid. I am just not sure if I want him here for the whole 4 weeks. What do you think?



Just wanted to give a update on how this went. Let me just say I have never met a more polite 19 year old in my life. It was no problem having him here for the whole break. We got to see how he really treated our daughter and let me tell you he worships the ground she walks on he would do anything for her.  He and she followed our rules to a tee and even went out of their way to help out, We took them both to their destinations on Sat and were sad to see them both go. My hubby told him your welcome at our house anytime and gave the kid a hug!!! My hubby don't do that with just anyone. Thank you everyone for the opinions!!!!!!!!

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 3:57 PM
Replies (11-20):
LadySaphira
by Lisa on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:21 PM

4 weeks is a long time but if he has nowhere else to go then I would but I would also lay down some ground rules about him staying. 

passionatebren
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:25 PM

They have been together over a year. She has been with him to several family things and has seen herself how horrible they are to him. This kid has been through a lot in his 18 years loosing his mom at a young age was raised by his grandmother who treats him like crap and a dad who has told him he will amount to nothing because he couldn't handle the Navy. He is a good kid and treats my daughter very well. Like I said I have no issues with him a all just not sure I want him here the whole 4 weeks!

Quoting Cindy18:

Just a question..... How long has she known this man? Are you sure that he really doesn't have anyone to spend the holidays with or is this just coming from him?

I'm a sceptic when it comes to teenagers.


jlsjjsmom
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:43 PM
I'd say that he can come for a few days but no more. He can take a train or bus back. If they're freshmen I'm assuming they've only known each other 3 months or so? Hardly like they are in a years long relationship
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passionatebren
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:44 PM

They started dating their Senior year of high school

Quoting jlsjjsmom:

I'd say that he can come for a few days but no more. He can take a train or bus back. If they're freshmen I'm assuming they've only known each other 3 months or so? Hardly like they are in a years long relationship


jlsjjsmom
by Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Ah so for a year of so. Maybe I'd let him stay a week then but not the whole break. It is unfortunate that he doesn't have a loving supportive family but he's made it through holidays for the last 19 years. Now that your dd is in college the years of tradition and being with just your own family during this time will be over all too soon.

Quoting passionatebren:

They started dating their Senior year of high school

Quoting jlsjjsmom:

I'd say that he can come for a few days but no more. He can take a train or bus back. If they're freshmen I'm assuming they've only known each other 3 months or so? Hardly like they are in a years long relationship


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mac1940
by Mary Ann on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:36 PM

I guess I am a softie.  Understanding his family circumstances, I would probably relent and let him stay the whole four weeks.  I keep thinking back to when my son was first in the Navy and stationed far away from home and couldn't get leave to come home and how a family made him welcome in their home for the holidays, certainly not for a prolonged period but t least he didn't have to spend the holidays alone.  Also we were foster parents for several years and saw how grateful most of them were for a family to care.  But I also can certainly understand how you would want some mother/daughter time.

louannwilkins
by Louann on Dec. 4, 2012 at 6:52 PM

 I think I would invite him to come for a week to 10 days or so.  Could he go back on a bus?  I mean, I would hate for him to have no one to spend Christmas with either and it would make me feel bad.  

Maddie24
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:39 PM

I would say yes to Christmas week and no to 4 full weeks - unless they were engaged.  That is just too long and can create pressure on everyone.  Your daughter will not have that many more years at home for the holidays.  Sorry you are in that situation!!!  Ugh!

PinkButterfly66
by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:52 PM

If it were me, knowing his family is abusive and he couldn't go home with his roommate then I'd let him stay.  

Quoting passionatebren:

His family dynamics are very complicated. The family he does have is very abusive to him. I feel bad for him, but on the other hand I want my daughter to myself for part of those 4 weeks.

Quoting Esmrlda:

 I would say Christmas week and thats it.  Strange that he dosent he have other people in his life?  Was he a foster kid?



momma-t42
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:00 PM

No way, I have college kids and I sure wouldn't want some boyfriend around for 4 weeks.  I mean, where would he go if he wasn't dating her?  He has to have somewhere else he can go.

Good luck

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