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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Moms with adult sons

Posted by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 8:45 PM
  • 67 Replies

Do you agree with this?

Have a daughter and you have her for life.

Have a son and you lose him to his wife.

Did your adult son forget about you when he got married? Engaged? Or serious relationship?

My youngest is engaged. We have always been VERY close. I know he won't tell me everything now that it is "them" but I am hurt because he has been in basic for 3 weeks and I have not recieved a phone call. It took almost the three weeks to get a letter. He has called her 4 times now and she has gotten almost a dozen letters. I am happy that I finally got not 1 but 3. Still sad.

A friend said...well it is your son and he is engaged, you lost him to her.

I don't like this idea or train of thought.

Experiences, comments??

Dawn; daughter, wife, mom, MiMi , Blogger @ http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com  and writer for:  www.foodiefriendsfridaydailydish.com

Merry Christmas!!  

wreath        christmas tree    holding gifts   nativity

by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 8:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rileyscute
by Bronze Member on Dec. 24, 2012 at 8:47 PM

well I have a daughter (that is married), and although he will be here with her first..he will and does still cater to his mom..

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Dec. 24, 2012 at 8:51 PM

Michael isn't married or engaged yet but he does live with his GF. I don't hear from him often but I think it is more because we have oposite scheduals, we can't afford to drive out to see him, and he does not have a car

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Dec. 24, 2012 at 8:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Depending on age I think their priorities change.
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ladyluke2007
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 9:01 PM

My sons, and I have 5 - 2 are adult.  They still try and call me or write a letter to me 3 or 4 times a week.  I have a daughter and she is 25 and she hasn't forgot about me so much as she is just busy with her life with 3 small children.

Lynnie68
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 9:16 PM
My son has a gf now and she has become his world. He spend thanksgiving and now Christmas Eve and he's going to spend Christmas with her and her family.. I'm hurt but I kind of expected this to happen once he found the one he wanted... I just can't wait until I finely get to see him I miss him to death!!
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Maddie24
by Gold Member on Dec. 24, 2012 at 9:46 PM

I only have daughters.  I think all of this really depends on the child.  I do believe that at a stage in their maturity that they shut down communications with mom - with or without a SO.  I always wanted a son - to help his old mom.  As it is, my daughters have had to lean on me to fulfill both mother and father roles.  One daughter stays in contact, the other one contacts me only occasionally. 

Take heart in this - My ex-mil and I were the best of friends and I believe in my heart that I was closer to her than any of her children.  We were not close at first - I was a brat.  It took 5 or 6 years for our relationship to develop, but it did.  We talked just about everyday.   My ex-DH always cringed when I would talk about moving his DM in with us!!!  Hang in there!

Phreska
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 9:46 PM

That's interesting that you should bring that up because when I was getting my nails done the other day, the woman doing them and I were chatting about our kids.  She said that a daughter will always be close to their mom even when she gets married, but sons do whatever the wife wants to do, which is usually spend more time with her family.  That did hit home with me. 

But my eldest son is a grown man with family responsibilities, a little one on the way, he works ungodly hours, and he does go out of his way to include me in the important stuff.  He's his own person, and I think that's a good thing.  Just know that your son will always know you are 'there', that you are the go-to person when he needs mom. I don't agree that you lost him to her.

Also, make some plans with them when he gets back.  Sometimes you have to take the initiative.

I feel like if I get naggy about it to my kids, it will just really repel them anyway...who wants to be around a guilt-tripping mother?  I should know, I grew up with one, and we couldn't have been further apart relationship-wise.

grace1973
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this
It does hurt. But this is what we raise them to do, right? Grow up, become men and live their own lives. You do have my empathy. Going through the same but trying to remember that I raised him to become his own person, not stay my little man forever.


Quoting homeskoolmama:

Do you agree with this?

Have a daughter and you have her for life.

Have a son and you lose him to his wife.

Did your adult son forget about you when he got married? Engaged? Or serious relationship?

My youngest is engaged. We have always been VERY close. I know he won't tell me everything now that it is "them" but I am hurt because he has been in basic for 3 weeks and I have not recieved a phone call. It took almost the three weeks to get a letter. He has called her 4 times now and she has gotten almost a dozen letters. I am happy that I finally got not 1 but 3. Still sad.

A friend said...well it is your son and he is engaged, you lost him to her.

I don't like this idea or train of thought.

Experiences, comments??


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melissa632
by on Dec. 24, 2012 at 9:53 PM
My single adult son lives with me. I haven't been down that road yet.
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nana9106
by Darlene on Dec. 24, 2012 at 10:20 PM
My son was like that too when he got married. Personally I think it has more to do with how the wife is and not so much about how much your son loves you. I KNOW my son loves me but when he was married to his first wife SHE didn't want me to "interfere" with there marriage (which I am not like that anyway). She never gave me a chance to get to know her or vice versa. Now he is on marriage number 2, and his wife is very secure with herself and him. She has no problem with him talking to me or asking for advice. Be patient, call, text or what ever maybe she (or he) will come around
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