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Hello my name is Lisa new to group.

Posted by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:41 PM
  • 15 Replies

Have a 23 yr old son,18 yr old son a 16 yr old d,2 ss 14@18..My oldest s has lived 3 hrs away since he graduated in 07. He visits every few mths and i go see him as well. My problem is he borrowed some money awhile back cause he had got into some trouble $600.00 to be exact. s has made several promises to pay this back but never done so. At x-mas it really hurt my feelings that he didnt make any attempt to buy me or his siblings a gift or nothing for my b-day the day after x-mas. He sure went out and partyed every night with his friends,before x-mas has emailed me saying guess what i got mom,said hope million dollars so i can have some  says no he went out got an I pad this hurt my feelings as well. I have told him on several diffrent occasions that i need him to pay me back something he says ok i will..Has no kids works 2 jobs and 3 roomates splits bills with has gone on 2 trips since borrowing this money and planning another. Just dont get why he knows im broke.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:48 PM

Hi Lisa and welcome to the group.  I don't why it is the ask if we can lend them the money which is a inclination that they know they have to pay it back.  But then they act like we GAVE them the money as a gift.

My daughter has did the same to me but luckily she has started paying me back little by little,the only thing is she'll want to borrow more

I would just tell your son thathe knew it was a loan and hes had the money to pay you back many times over. And you need the money back NOW!  If he can afford to go on trips and by electronic toys he can afford to cough up your six hundred dollars.

by Nancy on Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:50 PM

Hi and welcome to the group.  Paying back family is sometimes the hardest thing to do.

by Amy on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:03 PM

Perhaps you can tell him that you expect him to give you an X amount of money by a certain date with X amount every month afterwards until it's paid off.  Maybe if you tell him instead of ask him, that would make a difference.  Just a thought!  Good luck and welcome to the group!!

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 2:10 PM

Face it, he is never going to pay the money back.  Never lend your child (or anyone else) money just because they say they are going to pay it back.  If you expect them to pay it back get it in writing and have their signature notarized because it won't even hold up in court if it is just a verbal agreement.  If you don't want the money back , give it to them.  But if you are looking for it back nevr lend it. 

by Barb on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Welcome to the group!

It sounds as though the $600 is gone with the wind. at 23 he should be mature enough to have some family responsibility.  Of course it hurt your feelings when he didn't remember you for important occasions.  He should have, and he shouldn't be buying himself expensive things until he pays you back. Maybe, as far as the $600, you could suggest he pay you back by doing some handiwork around your place, painting the walls or something.

by Barb on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:22 PM

Tell him about your hurt feelings with the lack of remembering you. 

by Jeanine on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:27 PM
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 I'm sorry he didn't buy you anything for Christmas or birthday :(  My son doesn't buy me anything either but I'm ok with it.  My kids have borrowed money on occasion but they always pay it back.  I write up an IOU and have them sign it and they sign it as they pay it back.  I would have a talk with your son and tell him you were happy to help him but since he has not made any attempt to pay you back you will NEVER help him out financially again.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:28 PM


by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Thank you everyone for replying, I do believe that my son has no intention on paying me back.Hope he doesnt get in trouble again cause i cant afford to help.

by Lisa on Jan. 2, 2013 at 4:38 PM
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Hi Lisa, my name is Lisa also. Is your 23 yr old roommates with mine? LOL Mine does not woe me any money but I rarely get to see him because he lives about 2 hours away. I think at that age they are so focused on the "here and Now" it just doesn't cross their minds that their actions could be hurting others.

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