Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Our son has dropped out of college. It's kind of heartbreaking because we know life is going to be harder for him now but I'm not mad at him. He was miserable and academics is just not his thing.

Here is what I wanted to talk about, my BIL says that we should not take him on trips and he should pay rent and so on.

Well we always told the kids they'd have to get a job and pay rent. We've already told him how much rent he will have to pay and when he will start.

We enjoy our son. We want him to go on trips with us generally unless they are romantic ones for two.

We do not have a hate on over his "throwing away his future" and I just can't understand how or why parents think this way.

Ugh.

Anyway, what would you do if your kids moved back home? What rules would you have?

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 12:53 PM
Replies (31-33):
kam013
by Silver Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 4:43 PM


Quoting Esmrlda:

 

Quoting kam013:


Quoting Esmrlda:

 I think having a job and contributing to the household is important. Having specific chores to do and paying a share of the rent or a utility bill. School isnt for everyone.  Maybe he will find something else he likes to do and excel at it.

Esme, off topic, but how is your daughter doing?  Did you get to spend some time with your FS over the holidays?  Hope you are feeling well these days.  I haven't been on much, so I miss a lot.  K

 I did, we had him for five days over the holiday.  It was wonderful, all the kids were home and my dad came out for a week and a half. He was well behaved and a joy to have at the house.  I think he is finally growing up.  My dd is good except for the maybe torn ACL. So we will see what happens with that. I have good weeks and bad weeks as in really tired. Otherwise I am doing well.  Thank you for asking!  I miss having you in the group but am happy to see that you have checked in.  How were your holidays?  Did you go on that vacation you wanted too last year?

Aww, so glad all was well during the holidays.  Boys tend to take a little longer to get past that immurturity stage.  Hopefully you will be able to have more fun times with him.  Any news on the ACL issue?  Funny that came up yesterday, I just got a call today from my Mom.  Dad has been having recurring issues with his knee and they finally had an MRI done.  Results are he has a torn meniscus in his knee and needs surgery.  Seems to be knee injuries for 2013!   Good to hear that you have been feeling well overall.  

The holiday's were nice, quieter than usual (only one side of the family this year), which was actually relaxing.  GS was so much fun this year and of course we spoiled him!!  Just when I thought I was done shopping for him DH wanted to go and pick out some toys too.

No, we didn't take any vacations at all this past year, which kinda sucked since DH had to take 7 weeks vacation time due to a new company policy (no more carry overs).  DD's wedding kinda zapped us of any extra funds for that sort of thing.  It's alright though he still has 5 weeks he can take this year.

This year is our 25th Anniversary (in a couple of weeks), this is when we wanted to take the big trip to France.  Not sure that is actually going to happen, as I think we are going to need a new car.  Still watching the prices though, you never know, if we can find a good deal on flights we might still consider it.  It's the cost of flights that is the killer.  

We WILL take a trip to celebrate though, but not until it is warmer (that was always the plan).  Right now we are just talking about taking a 2 week road trip, with possible stops in NYC, the Hamptons, definitely visiting the Outer Banks, drive down to my parents in Florida for a few days and travel down to the Florida Keys, Key West area.  We have also toyed with maybe taking a cruise once we reach Florida.  Right now though the idea is to just kinda wing it, with no set time frames and just make it really relaxing.  We will see though, we keep tossing lots of ideas around, so plans may change between now and then.

I will continue to try and get here when I can.  Things are a little slower work wise right now, so I'll be around!!  K

Esmrlda
by Esme on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting kam013:


Quoting Esmrlda:

 

Quoting kam013:


Quoting Esmrlda:

 I think having a job and contributing to the household is important. Having specific chores to do and paying a share of the rent or a utility bill. School isnt for everyone.  Maybe he will find something else he likes to do and excel at it.

Esme, off topic, but how is your daughter doing?  Did you get to spend some time with your FS over the holidays?  Hope you are feeling well these days.  I haven't been on much, so I miss a lot.  K

 I did, we had him for five days over the holiday.  It was wonderful, all the kids were home and my dad came out for a week and a half. He was well behaved and a joy to have at the house.  I think he is finally growing up.  My dd is good except for the maybe torn ACL. So we will see what happens with that. I have good weeks and bad weeks as in really tired. Otherwise I am doing well.  Thank you for asking!  I miss having you in the group but am happy to see that you have checked in.  How were your holidays?  Did you go on that vacation you wanted too last year?

Aww, so glad all was well during the holidays.  Boys tend to take a little longer to get past that immurturity stage.  Hopefully you will be able to have more fun times with him.  Any news on the ACL issue?  Funny that came up yesterday, I just got a call today from my Mom.  Dad has been having recurring issues with his knee and they finally had an MRI done.  Results are he has a torn meniscus in his knee and needs surgery.  Seems to be knee injuries for 2013!   Good to hear that you have been feeling well overall.  

The holiday's were nice, quieter than usual (only one side of the family this year), which was actually relaxing.  GS was so much fun this year and of course we spoiled him!!  Just when I thought I was done shopping for him DH wanted to go and pick out some toys too.

No, we didn't take any vacations at all this past year, which kinda sucked since DH had to take 7 weeks vacation time due to a new company policy (no more carry overs).  DD's wedding kinda zapped us of any extra funds for that sort of thing.  It's alright though he still has 5 weeks he can take this year.

This year is our 25th Anniversary (in a couple of weeks), this is when we wanted to take the big trip to France.  Not sure that is actually going to happen, as I think we are going to need a new car.  Still watching the prices though, you never know, if we can find a good deal on flights we might still consider it.  It's the cost of flights that is the killer.  

We WILL take a trip to celebrate though, but not until it is warmer (that was always the plan).  Right now we are just talking about taking a 2 week road trip, with possible stops in NYC, the Hamptons, definitely visiting the Outer Banks, drive down to my parents in Florida for a few days and travel down to the Florida Keys, Key West area.  We have also toyed with maybe taking a cruise once we reach Florida.  Right now though the idea is to just kinda wing it, with no set time frames and just make it really relaxing.  We will see though, we keep tossing lots of ideas around, so plans may change between now and then.

I will continue to try and get here when I can.  Things are a little slower work wise right now, so I'll be around!!  K

 My nephew is so cute, he is sooo protective of me and is turning into a nice young man. He wants to help me, like go shopping with me and then go and get carry the heavy stuff so I wont have to. Make me breakfast, gets protective if someone is rude to me he wants to go tell them a thing or too. Washes the dinner dishes so I can rest. LOL, Yes I want to have him over again soon. Im thinking the second weekend in February.

The road trip sounds like so much fun. Yes I was thinking of the trip to France that you mentioned last year. But the road trip sounds like a blast!  What fun that would be!  Congrats on 25 years!   I want to go help and work at an Elephant sanctuary in Thailand which is cheap enough but the flight is 1250.00 to 2000.00!  Yikes! So Im going to have to save up for that one.

Best wishes for your fathers surgery, Ive had two arthroscopies due to a torn meniscus and its a piece of cake. He will up and around in no time.  Still waiting to hear about the approval for the MRI for dd.  She can get around okay so its not really a rush. We might have to wait until spring break to do the surgery anyway.   Congrats on your dd's wedding.  Little boys are so much fun to shop for. I can see why he got spoiled!

 

CoeyG
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 5:50 PM
1 mom liked this

When Shannon moved to California with me after her dad and I split up I had cusotdy of her, he had visitiation.  He flew out to Caliofnria with her so they could spend a dday at DisneyLand but she said all he wanted to do was sstnd in line all day at the bobsleds rather than actually wandering the park, she finally convinced him to move along when he stood in line fr five hours and she walked around and came bck to him three times and he hadn't moved LOL so they left the bobsleds.  Anyway he rented a car and they drove up the coast to Sacramento which she did enjoy.  At any rate with him placing her into my cuostody, he was paying Child support so she didn't have to pay rent at 16.  She was still in hihg school of course.  Ohce she turned 18 she needed a job because CS didn't taake care of everything, she was in college and while dad was paying the tuition, books cost a lot.  And I was in school as well.  While I could support myself on what I made I couldn't support her and I both on my paycheck alone plus pay for my education and her books.  believe me Child support doesn't pay for everything the child needs.  When a child becomes an adult they need to be held responsible for their own wants and needs, when she did move out with her friend she had to pay her own way, so when she moved back with med she needed to do the same as an adult That's a part of growing up.  Of course I didn't charge her a lot of what she would pay  if she did on her own but she has learned about budgeting, saving money she paid off a student loan before it was due thanks to teaching her that.  , how many parents can boast that their kids paid off a student loan before the kid got the degree?  I would do it all the same way. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)