And stupidity rears its head.... Update**(in blue)
As some here may know, my DD has an ex.
He lives 4 hours away, rarely sees his kids, pays no child support etc... basic deadbeat.... well here in our great state, you get over $20,000 in arrears in cs, they will haul you to jail... He's at $22,000. He was contacted by the DA in his county letting him know that he will need to appear in court in 2/1, and to expect to spend 10 months in jail... they figure at $69.00 a day that will get him under a certain amount, and there will be no time off for good behavior... So, he has decided that he is going to be down here until he has to go to court... so he can spend time with his kids.. fine right? ...... ummm no. he has decided that only after 3 days he's stressed.... He watches the kids at night while she is doing her extern...
Here's where the stupidity kicks in... He tells her that he's decided that he is not going to go to court, because he doesn't feel that he should have to go to jail for money that is just going to go to her..... WHAT? She has been providing for 3 children all on her own for the last 3-1/2 years. No financial help from him whatsoever. He comes into town saying he's here to stay, wants to be with his kids, only to pick a fight with her 3 days later (this is NOT the first time he has done this) so that he doesn't need to be around, because she will tell him to just go, she really has no time to put up with it. She kicks herself everytime, thinking maybe this time he will be serious. My feeling..... when he doesn't show up to court, they will issue a bench warrant... my dd lives right next to the police station... Imma think Imma gonna call, just give them a little hint as to where he is (Which is not at my dd house) because when he fails at his parenting duties, I am the one that has to step up to help. My dd is working full time, and working towards her carreer doing her extern.. I don't want his short comings to screw up her goals.
My dd tried to speak to him yesterday to find out if he was really not going to show up for court... He said NOPE...so my dd told him that he is not to come around her or the kids, if he does, she will be calling the police. He tried to tell her she had no right to do that... Oh but she does.... he has outstanding warrants as is it on a couple other charges from things that are 5 and 3 years old that he has never taken care of, Plus the fact that he couldn't piss clean even if he only drank water for an entire month. And the fact that he says he will "punch all her teeth out" And that he should "eat a bullet" (All in front of the kids...) I told her last night, that if he does come around again, and she chickens out on the calling, I will be calling... I'm done with his crap, and it's really affecting the kids. (which some here think that I am not thinking about) But those kids are the most important, but my dd is also my kid, so she too is important to me, and what this jerk does to her just drives me nuts. She wants him to be the stand up dad, but he wont... and yeah it was her choice to have kids with this man/child, but when they first started dating etc... he was not at all like this. He had a job, his license a place to live, a car.... But he started getting in trouble with the law, and now he's just mean and spiteful towards her, and according to him, it's all her fault...he isn't to blame for any of this.