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Up and down

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:56 PM
  • 30 Replies

So, over the holiday, our girl was home for three weeks or more. She finally seemed more herself, almost back to normal. Her brain got back and being ADHD she began arguing a great deal about anything and everything which is the her we know. We were happy though it's frustrating too. At least we know her as a capable fighter instead of a person who gives up, and isn't capable at all.

I think she had been through so much with illness and world view changes and giving up certain goals and dreams that it just took time to get better. I also think being home helped her regulate her habits, behaviors and take her meds, though there were still days or parts of days she forgot and I didn't check. Honestly, I don't think anyone should have to check.

Another change that was good was that all of a sudden she told me she could tell she felt better, was more functional and did better when she took her meds. She has often hated taking them. She has even thrown up because she worked herself up over it before. I told her, if you had a heart disease you'd take meds for that and not fuss about it, why not this? She has often had a hard time, telling if the meds were helping or not. She has a hard time telling how things make her feel and with memory sometimes. So I was happy to see her finally come around on this.

She began the semester happy to get back to her apartment and to college. Yay! Second day of classes she didn't make it because her phone charger died and therefore her phone alarm didn't go off. I was upset about it but told her not to let this be a marker about how her semester would go. I do wonder why chargers of any kind "die" on her so often. It's really strange. The other three of us don't have those problems. It has to be related to ADHD and not being careful with things.

So the third day was a snow day.

I took her back to her apartment yesterday. She played a role playing game with her friends until 3 a.m. Sunday night / Monday morning. Today she "didn't feel right" and felt like "she needed to come home for a few hours." So we did that, even ate out because she thought that would help. I take her back to her apartment this evening and she breaks down and says, she needs to come home and have me drive her to class in the morning. *sigh*

I've checked her pill box. She's taken them.

She claims nothing has happened or upset her.

She claims she hasn't been doing any non prescription drugs or alcohol but this is scary and disheartening.

Hopefully she catches up on her sleep tonight and is all better the rest of the week. I'm so tired of her clinging to me and needing something else we can't figure out at all.

Tomorrow is a new day and now, an earlier day. I hope it's sunshine for her and for me!

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds to me that maybe your daughter isn't mature enough to handle the real world on her own yet?  How old is she? When our chldren turn 18 years old, they are "legally" adults - yet with her condition it sounds like she is not "emotionally" there yet.  You sound frustrated about this - and I can understand why - is there any kind of counseling she could get - "life coaching" or something? 

momma-t42
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Some girls develop differently than others.  And, as a mom of girls, I know that right about the time they were graduating high school, I was developing peri menopausal, roller coaster emotions within me.  We're women, and all things considered, that can effect both how we view them and what is going on with them.

Sometimes it's good to just step back and ask if it's really her, or maybe you, or a combination of both.  

While I believe I have a daughter with adult ADD, I don't give attention to it as we all still have to learn how to function in this world with our own disfunctions.  Positive reinforcement that she is okay....just the way she is...can possibly help her to press on.

Best wishes from one caring mom to another :)

Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:45 AM

She is 22. She moved out three years ago but still spends a lot of time at home. She goes to counseling on a regular basis. I've made that a requirement for her mental health.

She has been in emotional "crisis" for over a year now. It's exhausting and if I don't answer the call every single time, she might harm herself. She is not okay just the way she is. She is not always functional and it's always a scary thing if she will be for a particular day / task / semester or not. Since last fall, she hasn't been. I thought, maybe she had come out of it.

Too early to tell today if she will be able to cope or not.

I do believe no matter what your issues or challenges are, you have to figure out how to cope. If only she would.

Bmat
by Barb on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this

I'll include you and your daughter in my prayers.

LEK19
by Platinum Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like she has made some progress with dealing and accepting some things. She will have some setbacks, especially when all those little weird life things happen. She is having to find her way to focus on what she wants and it is taking some time. Everybody does in their own way. I hope she doesn't have to struggle as much as she has and finds her way soon. 

mac1940
by Mary Ann on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Wish I had some answers or very good advice for you but unfortunately I have neither.  But do know that I am hoping that things will improve soon.  I do know that it is important that she take her meds on a regular basis and follow a routine as much as possible, in that she should be sure she gets a good night's sleep every night.  Lack of sleep throws her entire system out of whack. 

homeskoolmama
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:27 PM

Would a group home be an option for her, they have freedom but also someone to 'remind' them of medicines and kind of help keep them in line. Would she go for that if one is available? It would help your stress level too.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

She is 22. She moved out three years ago but still spends a lot of time at home. She goes to counseling on a regular basis. I've made that a requirement for her mental health.

She has been in emotional "crisis" for over a year now. It's exhausting and if I don't answer the call every single time, she might harm herself. She is not okay just the way she is. She is not always functional and it's always a scary thing if she will be for a particular day / task / semester or not. Since last fall, she hasn't been. I thought, maybe she had come out of it.

Too early to tell today if she will be able to cope or not.

I do believe no matter what your issues or challenges are, you have to figure out how to cope. If only she would.


jabs54
by Jeanine on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 Aww, I'm sorry that your dd doesn't "feel better" and you have to worry about her :(

    (((hugs)))

nana9106
by Darlene on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 hopefully things will level out. Maybe she needs different meds? I will be praying for her....and you

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

She is 22. She moved out three years ago but still spends a lot of time at home. She goes to counseling on a regular basis. I've made that a requirement for her mental health.

She has been in emotional "crisis" for over a year now. It's exhausting and if I don't answer the call every single time, she might harm herself. She is not okay just the way she is. She is not always functional and it's always a scary thing if she will be for a particular day / task / semester or not. Since last fall, she hasn't been. I thought, maybe she had come out of it.

Too early to tell today if she will be able to cope or not.

I do believe no matter what your issues or challenges are, you have to figure out how to cope. If only she would.

 

Esmrlda
by Esme on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 I love that saying....Tomorrow is a new day. I am happy to hear that she realized that she feels better with the meds.  I know this is such a hurdle with most people.  I hope that she can get on track and find a regular schedule to help her make it to class.

hugs 

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