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Have you ever been "taken in" by someone on line?

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:05 PM
  • 24 Replies

Have you ever been taken in by someone here on CM or another social site and found out they were not who/what they pretended to be? If so, did it change how you perceive others on line?

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by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:05 PM
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LadySaphira
by Lisa on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:53 PM

I have. Several years ago I met a girl around Adrienne's age, named Annie, in a support for people and care givers of people with cancer. She claimed to have survived cancer several times (which can happen, I have a RL friend who has).  We comunicated for about a year and I introduced her to Adrienne, she introduced me to her mother here on CM. We all 4 comunicated back and forth for an additional two years via CM, instant messaging, e-mail and phone, and we eventualy invited Annie to come visit us and she did for 3 weeks. We had a wonderful visit, she was funny and smart, and Adrienne and Annie really bonded, Andrew developed his first crush.

We continued to stay in contact with Annie and her mother after Annie went back home and about a month later I received a strange e-mail from Annie's mother telling me she found out that her heart was bad and asking if anything happened to her if I would be willing to take care of Annie and her siblings. She stated that she had noone else to ask that she could trust. Having come to love Annie like a second daughter, I said yes. Two weeks later Annie's mother died. 

At this point I was sharing about our relationship with Annie and her mom in another group and posted the news of her mother's death in the group. Many of the ladies in that group offered to help financialy to get Annie and her siblings to my house and to purchase the needed extra furniture. They even sent me $60 to get started. Some wanted to send flowers to the funeral home, as did I so I requested the funeral info from Annie. She kept circling around the issue and I started to get suspicious, something just did not sound "right".After three days of on line searches for info with no results, I shared my suspicions with a member of the group who was a retired PI. She started investigating and found out that Annie's mother was very much alive and everythign that was told to me from the begining was a lie. There was no cancer, no autistic brother, no childhood abuse, no dead mother.  I can't even begin to desribe what it did to our family..we were angry, and embarrassed for being taken in, and hurt that someone would callously lie for over three years. Andrew was especialy effected, he did not understand that the Annie he had such a huge crush on was not a good person and would get highly upset if anyone said anythign negative about her around him. It took him a long time to get over her betrayal. 

cont in next reply.

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:53 PM

I will copy and paste this part of an e-mail sent to me from the PI:


I talked to Dora Townsend yesterday at her job. I will relay what was told to me. She said she has never came on CM and never talk to you. said she knew Annie or Andrea know you and your DD. Also said Andrea don't have cancer. She did say Andrea came to visit you for 3 weeks. She was upset that her pictures and her bio was on CM profile and when her boss asked her flat out if "Anny" could have done this she never answered. She also said you two are not friends and never have been. She was convincing on her story not that I believe that she hasn't been on CM because she said something at the beginning of our conversation that makes me think she has been.

I don't know who is playing who but someone owes these ladies their money back and Suzie went out of her way to make sure Dora family was set when she did arrive at your home. We wasn't going to take this to the group but to you privately and Dora's boss wanted to give it the weekend because if this came out like it is now they are afraid that Dora might have had something to do with this.

We need to find out whats really going on and if this is a young lady who mastered mind all this then we need to press charges as its frud and yes Dora could lose her job as its her DD.

I cant say I know all of whats going on but if you want to come clean then the group needs to know everything.

Lisa, we love you but we need to know what you know and why Dora would say she don't know you and she never spoke to you.. I thought you needed to know this information we had gotten.

Love ya,

Dana

As you can see, I immediately became a suspect in the whole situation even though I had offered the admins of the group access to my e-mail, instant messaging accounts, and CM account so they could see for themselves all the conversations and e-mails. It was a horrible experience. Some of the ladies in the group believed me, some just wanted to suspect the worst. I still have all the e-mails and IM conversations, just in case. I did nothing wrong other than to believe the lies I was told and to love someone like a daughter that was obviously deeply disturbed. Why else would someone do that sort of thing? They never asked me for money, or for me to send them things. It still baffles me to this day as to why although I did receive one last e-mail that was supposedly from one of Annie's friends claiming she was doing it for a book she was writing and that she had planned on sharing the profits of said book with my family. I never responded and blocked the sender and have not heard from any of "them" for almost 4 years now. The "mom's" profile is still here on CM. but has not been active since the incedent.

Cont. in next reply

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LadySaphira
by Lisa on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:53 PM

I have always trusted people until they have "proven" me wrong and this was very hard to deal with for me...I didn't talk about it for a long time but a situation a friend of mine recently went through reminded me of all this again.

In some ways it has effected me..I am a lot slower to totally trust people but I did not allow it to change me to the point where I have become bitter. I am still softhearted and willing to help someone in anyway I can, I just do a lot more research before I do. It was a hard lesson learned.

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Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 8:26 PM

I don't worry about it. It could have happened. I set limits on what info I give out online and spend time with people or at places that I enjoy. They have very little chance of hurting me in anyway since I don't want anything from them really and don't give out much concrete info. That's why I don't post pictures, location and other things like that online.

momma-t42
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:42 PM

Yes, I have been taken in by someone online actually.

For the past 8 years, I have kept in touch with a group of folks in the Big Brother chat room.  (Tv show that airs on CBS in the summer time)

Anyway, we were all pretty close, going into Paltalk to where we talked in a mic and could hear each other's voices for the first time.

There was a guy in our chat group that was quite the flirt.  While I may be married, I'd joke around with him, but nothing except a fun joking type of friendship is all we ever shared.

I'll never forget the day he came onto paltalk and we all started laughing at his voice and his accent.  No biggy we all had lots to laugh about....Then he pulled away from group....only to discover he was hiding behind another screen name.  He came clean eventually with me personally, but I really didn't care.

Then, last summer, I found out He was a She....yet he flirted with the girls online.

Personally, I don't care if he is a she or not, but the rest of the group was not happy to hear about it....especially after he/she swindled another woman to be his girlfriend.  It wasn't pretty.

But no one after that...and No, it doesn't change my perspective.  I can usually tell the way people are even through online.

This person wasn't a bad person, but I didn't appreciate being lied to.

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:55 PM

I have long ago, forgiven Annie and her mother (if she was involved, still not sure) but I no longer have any kind of contact with them.  I just will never understand why people feel the need to do things like that.

Quoting momma-t42:

Yes, I have been taken in by someone online actually.

For the past 8 years, I have kept in touch with a group of folks in the Big Brother chat room.  (Tv show that airs on CBS in the summer time)

Anyway, we were all pretty close, going into Paltalk to where we talked in a mic and could hear each other's voices for the first time.

There was a guy in our chat group that was quite the flirt.  While I may be married, I'd joke around with him, but nothing except a fun joking type of friendship is all we ever shared.

I'll never forget the day he came onto paltalk and we all started laughing at his voice and his accent.  No biggy we all had lots to laugh about....Then he pulled away from group....only to discover he was hiding behind another screen name.  He came clean eventually with me personally, but I really didn't care.

Then, last summer, I found out He was a She....yet he flirted with the girls online.

Personally, I don't care if he is a she or not, but the rest of the group was not happy to hear about it....especially after he/she swindled another woman to be his girlfriend.  It wasn't pretty.

But no one after that...and No, it doesn't change my perspective.  I can usually tell the way people are even through online.

This person wasn't a bad person, but I didn't appreciate being lied to.


Click on my siggy to help find a cure for cancer!

momma-t42
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:31 PM

That sounds like a pretty sensitive subject you shared.  All part of online things that can happen I am sure, and if I had encountered what you did, I doubt I'd trust people again on here.

I'm glad it worked itself out for the most part and sure hope it doesn't happen in here. 

Quoting LadySaphira:

I have long ago, forgiven Annie and her mother (if she was involved, still not sure) but I no longer have any kind of contact with them.  I just will never understand why people feel the need to do things like that.

Quoting momma-t42:

Yes, I have been taken in by someone online actually.

For the past 8 years, I have kept in touch with a group of folks in the Big Brother chat room.  (Tv show that airs on CBS in the summer time)

Anyway, we were all pretty close, going into Paltalk to where we talked in a mic and could hear each other's voices for the first time.

There was a guy in our chat group that was quite the flirt.  While I may be married, I'd joke around with him, but nothing except a fun joking type of friendship is all we ever shared.

I'll never forget the day he came onto paltalk and we all started laughing at his voice and his accent.  No biggy we all had lots to laugh about....Then he pulled away from group....only to discover he was hiding behind another screen name.  He came clean eventually with me personally, but I really didn't care.

Then, last summer, I found out He was a She....yet he flirted with the girls online.

Personally, I don't care if he is a she or not, but the rest of the group was not happy to hear about it....especially after he/she swindled another woman to be his girlfriend.  It wasn't pretty.

But no one after that...and No, it doesn't change my perspective.  I can usually tell the way people are even through online.

This person wasn't a bad person, but I didn't appreciate being lied to.



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by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:12 AM

Yes which leads me to not be too trusting :(

Lovemyshadows
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:57 AM
1 mom liked this

I've been very fortunate. I've met 2 ladies on cm. one I visit and she visits me from Ohio. I also met one who lives on the other side of Tx.  We both happened to be in Austin at the same time.  I also have 2 other women I trust, we have " visited" a lot on line.  I would be willing to meet them in person.

rosebud727
by Rose on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:46 AM

No, I do know that many people online hide a great deal about their life. I don't really care one way or another until they try to ask for something of me and in essence they don't really know me except from a social site.

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