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Here I go again!

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:34 PM
  • 9 Replies

As most of you know I'm raising my 7yo grand daughter and she is in 2nd grade. Well she has been misbehaving in school. Playing and talking in class and and misbehaving when she goes to the bathroom.  Well she gets what they call a HABIT report card evey Monday for the week before. The H stands for homework,A for Attendance,B for Behavior,I for initiative, and T for Traveling in the hallways.  Well shes been having a big problem since she went back from winter vacation just not wanting to behave in class.   

Well this past weekend she went to her Moms for the weekend and since she was in trouble she wasn't allowed to watch TV or play any video games. So she went to her Mom and told her the reason she was misbehaving in class was she couldn't concetrate because she would look over and her friends would be playing around and talking soooo she wanted to play and then couldn't concentrate on her work anymore.  And she didn't tell me this because I wouldn't believe her! UHMMM well,she had told me this plus ten other reasons..and what it boils down to,is its HER thats wanting to play and talk to her friends.Which she has admited,because she isn't having any fun!

So anyway I was fed up with and just a little pissed that if the teacher was having problems with her,why can't they pick up the phone and call us when it happens,not me finding out a F"ing week later.  So I sent a note to her teacher saying as much,maybe not using that language though.  

And she sends me a note back(after me requesting that she call me)saying she appreciated me showing interest in my grand daughters schooling. And that it was KAli that was doing the talking and ect. Plus they were having a problem with her continuosly wanting to go to the nurses office.  And when told no,Kali has snuck out of the classroom and went anyway. And she had turned around and lied to the teacher.And then a week later went to her and apologized and told her the truth. This because Kali dosen't want to do her school work ,not because she has any medical problems! She did have a blister on her heel sooo she needed to leave class because it was itching!!!   And this has been going on for awhile too!  And today is the first time I've heard about it!  

I'm so livid I could scream...my grand child has been sneaking out of class AND I wasn't told,by the teacher or the school nurse. But the school nurse had e-mailed the teacher to voice her concerns to her!  Ummm,they aren't raising her,I am!

And she says that we'll talk more about it when we have a conference which isn't for another 3 weeks!  Well shes going to get a suprise tomorrow because I'm calling the school to speak to the principal and demanding I get to talk to him and the teacher!  

Am I wrong in actually wanting to know when my grand child is misbehaving or having problems in class when the problem arises,not when the teacher feels like getting around telling me!

When I was in school and we disrupted the class in any way,the first time we were spoken to,2nd time recess was taken away,3rd time we were at the office and our parents were called!  And if it was really bad,which sneaking out of class and lieing to the teacher is pretty damn serious to me,we would of been in the office asap,and parents would of been called to the school!

Sorry it so long but trying to talk to my daughter about this and she just tries making excuses for Kalis behavior.  

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:34 PM
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Replies (1-9):
mac1940
by Mary Ann on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:49 PM

I would guess that your gd is misbehaving at school for a couple reasons, none of which she has expressed to either you, her mom or the folks at school.  Just from what you have posted at various times, she is uncertain of her status.  I am sure she knows that you love her and are probably the rock in her life.  Then she goes to stay with her mother and there nothing is stable.  Her mother's boyfriend apparently is not a good example for her, her mother and the boyfriend are in what sounds to me like an abusive and at best a dysfunctional relationship.  I think your gd is dealing with a lot for her young age and apparently it is affecting her behavior at school.  That being said, I can appreciate your concern over not being alerted in a timely fashion and in a more personal way than a weekly paper report.  But can have some sympathy for the teacher as well who probably either does not have the extra time to make who knows how many phone calls to parents regarding their children or  she is simply following what is school policy for that school.  I do applaud you for calling and talking to both the principal and the teacher letting them know you are interested in helping your grandchild and would appreciate them notifying you personally when problems need addressing.

Maddie24
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:00 PM

 I detest the public school bureaucracy.  Absolutely the teacher should notify you when there is a problem.  I had some fear of the stupid school system when my girls were younger.  I sure would have no fear now.  You go girl - kick butt and take names!  It can't be that hard for them to contact you.

jabs54
by Jeanine on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:06 PM

 Wow, sneaking out of class is a huge safety issue.  That should have been brought to your attention immediately.

LeJane
by Bronze Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:01 PM

 I am sorry you are going through this, I know it can be very frustrating.    With that said,   I suggest you step into the teachers shoes before you rip her a new one.   Spend a couple of weeks by yourself with all of these kids.  

  My sister is an elementary teacher and I have coached elementary ages as well as ran commercial and home daycares.     Do you realize how hard it is for the teachers ?   Problems occur daily.   Conferences are to help to address chronic problems.   If teacher would report every "bad" behavior they wouldn't have time to teach nor live their lives.         There are so many behavioral and disciplinary challenges with teaching kids.    I would make sure that if you do go in and "talk" to someone that you do it with logic and understanding.    Anger and judgement will not help your granddaughter.  

    My advice is to work WITH those who are trying to help raise and teach your grand daughter.    This is a team effort.  Teachers DO help to raise our children and grand children.   I understand your frustration,  but chose your battles wisely.    Instead of tearing them apart,   offer your help and see what can be done so you can get  positive results.  

     If you continue having problems,   you can check into an IEP for her.    This will help to keep closer tabs on her progress, behaviors and concerns.   

    Hugs !  :-)

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:56 PM

I don't blame you for being pissed. I would ask if you could utilize a behavior notebook that has to be signed by you and the teacher every day. That way your granddaughter knows she will not be getting away with anything and the consequences of her behavior will be immediate.

kuntrylady56
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:55 PM

I totally understand what teachers have to deal with every day. I have ran a daycare in my home before and also worked in a institutional setting.  This isn't the first time I have adressed these problem with this teacher and we had both agreed if Kali began acting up in class she was to let me know. Not wait 3-4 weeks down the road. As Kalis Mom had ADHD and it something I'm hoping is not the case with my grand daughter. And in my opinion teachers responsibility is to teach...not to help help raise my grandchild!  Thats my responsibility!

And with her not letting me know that my grand daughter is sneaking out of the class is an issue to me. She has 24 children in her classroom with a part time assistant teachers aide. And if she has a problem keeping track of her students I think thats an issue that should be brought to the principals attention.

And as I stated in my initial post,when I was growing up if you misbehaved it was dealt with that day in one way or another. And if it was a continual problem it wouldn't of been left  for close to a month to adress.

I'm not going in there to do "battle"! I just want answers to why I wasn't told that she had been sneaking out of the classroom and she had lied to the teacher. And how we can work together to find a solution to help Kali.



Quoting LeJane:

 I am sorry you are going through this, I know it can be very frustrating.    With that said,   I suggest you step into the teachers shoes before you rip her a new one.   Spend a couple of weeks by yourself with all of these kids.  

  My sister is an elementary teacher and I have coached elementary ages as well as ran commercial and home daycares.     Do you realize how hard it is for the teachers ?   Problems occur daily.   Conferences are to help to address chronic problems.   If teacher would report every "bad" behavior they wouldn't have time to teach nor live their lives.         There are so many behavioral and disciplinary challenges with teaching kids.    I would make sure that if you do go in and "talk" to someone that you do it with logic and understanding.    Anger and judgement will not help your granddaughter.  

    My advice is to work WITH those who are trying to help raise and teach your grand daughter.    This is a team effort.  Teachers DO help to raise our children and grand children.   I understand your frustration,  but chose your battles wisely.    Instead of tearing them apart,   offer your help and see what can be done so you can get  positive results.  

     If you continue having problems,   you can check into an IEP for her.    This will help to keep closer tabs on her progress, behaviors and concerns.   

    Hugs !  :-)



hugss
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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:10 AM

You have every right to know what is goinhg on with your gd,
Not waiting for co9nferences is smart on your part.
I hope you get soe answers this week ..
Let us kbow :)

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:41 AM
She definitely should have told you right away that Kali was sneaking out of class. I'm glad you are going into the situation with the attitude that you want to be on the same page. Hope the teacher will get on the same page, too.
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LeJane
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:22 PM

 I did not realize this had been addressed before.   Yes,  I get where you are coming from.     It is a great thing that you are raising her.   They are so busy at these ages.      

     If you do have any problems from here on out,   if you can get her on an IEP,  they have to abide by it.    One of my children had an IEP due to ongoing problems.    It truely helped everyone who worked with her.

      I feel the frustration and pain through your words.    I know how hard it can be.    Hopefully things will straighten out quickly for you all.    I hope I didn't come across calloused towards your situation.   It wasn't my intention.     Good Luck and keep us posted.

Quoting kuntrylady56:

I totally understand what teachers have to deal with every day. I have ran a daycare in my home before and also worked in a institutional setting.  This isn't the first time I have adressed these problem with this teacher and we had both agreed if Kali began acting up in class she was to let me know. Not wait 3-4 weeks down the road. As Kalis Mom had ADHD and it something I'm hoping is not the case with my grand daughter. And in my opinion teachers responsibility is to teach...not to help help raise my grandchild!  Thats my responsibility!

And with her not letting me know that my grand daughter is sneaking out of the class is an issue to me. She has 24 children in her classroom with a part time assistant teachers aide. And if she has a problem keeping track of her students I think thats an issue that should be brought to the principals attention.

And as I stated in my initial post,when I was growing up if you misbehaved it was dealt with that day in one way or another. And if it was a continual problem it wouldn't of been left  for close to a month to adress.

I'm not going in there to do "battle"! I just want answers to why I wasn't told that she had been sneaking out of the classroom and she had lied to the teacher. And how we can work together to find a solution to help Kali.


 

Quoting LeJane:

 I am sorry you are going through this, I know it can be very frustrating.    With that said,   I suggest you step into the teachers shoes before you rip her a new one.   Spend a couple of weeks by yourself with all of these kids.  

  My sister is an elementary teacher and I have coached elementary ages as well as ran commercial and home daycares.     Do you realize how hard it is for the teachers ?   Problems occur daily.   Conferences are to help to address chronic problems.   If teacher would report every "bad" behavior they wouldn't have time to teach nor live their lives.         There are so many behavioral and disciplinary challenges with teaching kids.    I would make sure that if you do go in and "talk" to someone that you do it with logic and understanding.    Anger and judgement will not help your granddaughter.  

    My advice is to work WITH those who are trying to help raise and teach your grand daughter.    This is a team effort.  Teachers DO help to raise our children and grand children.   I understand your frustration,  but chose your battles wisely.    Instead of tearing them apart,   offer your help and see what can be done so you can get  positive results.  

     If you continue having problems,   you can check into an IEP for her.    This will help to keep closer tabs on her progress, behaviors and concerns.   

    Hugs !  :-)

 

 

 

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