I have a 25 year old daughter who seems to take out all her frustrations with life on me. I suffered a major breakdown about 4 years ago. I'm on anti-depressant meds. and meds. for anxiety. I see my psychiatrist every 4 weeks. I see my therapist at least once a month sometimes more if need arises. I also go every 9 weeks for ECT (ElectroConvulsiveTherapy). In fact I have a treatment tomorrow. My nervous breakdown was due to a lifetime of difficulties which include an abusive alcoholic father, losing my one and only brother to AIDS, losing my best friend to cancer, having a husband who's cheated and has been telling "little white lies" since the day I met him. My mother is another story. I begged both my brother and my mother to see a counselor with me after my father died from a massive heart attack when he was 49. It was a relief in one way, but in another, he was still my father. Neither one would go so I've been seeing my therapist for well over 10+ years on my own. I forgave my husband, moved my mother in our home after she broke her hip, and listened to her verbally abuse both my husband and my daughter constantly. I'm not quite sure what pushed me over the edge; I thought I had dealt with all of this. However, the most I remember is walking out of the school I worked at in tears and becoming "conscious" about 2 years later. ECT affects memory; it took 3 in one week to bring me around. I wanted to die; I was starving myself. As I said, I don't know what pushed me over, but one of the issues was my daughter's drinking, verbal assaults, abusive relationships, and an abortion. I've tried and tried to develop a relationship with my mother. She pushed me too far; after a few years, I had to throw her out to keep my sanity. This past week-end I had to throw my daughter out. It was not easy, but necessary. I couldn't be here while she gathered up her things. I went to a friend's house. I had put her out before, but my husband would always insist on taking her back. We went to my therapist together. He had agreed it was time for her to be out of our house and on her own. This was at least 6 months ago. My "problem" is this, am I wrong feeling betrayed and hurt because my husband helped her pack her things. I feel she should have brought her "boyfriend" or her other friends she loves so much to help her. He has 7 stents in his heart, is diabetic, and has an ankle held together by "nuts and bolts." We have 3 flights of stairs that he had to be going up and down. Not to mention, how is this showing her that we mean "business" this time? That he's finally backing me up? It took him 3 days to talk to me, to acknowledge that I have feelings. I'm just hoping that she will make it this time because I love her with all my heart, but I cannot live with her under the same roof anymore. I expressed these feelings to her, but it did no good. Once again, she verbaly assaulted me. I'm not sure where she went and as in my mother's case, I do not expect to hear from her unless she needs something. Both she and her father talked more to the dog than to me. So, please ladies, no bashing, but am I wrong?!
f "becoming conscious