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She's going even if he isn't... update... in blue

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • 13 Replies

 My dd.  She's going to the court proceedings for the unpaid child support tomorrow.  he's more than $20,000 in the hole, and while I understand that this is probably not top on the authorities list of priorities...  if they were able to find him just recently, what has been going on for the last 3 1/2 years?  Anyway,  After alot of thought, my dd decided that it may just be worth it for her to go even though they don't Need her there, they did say that it would be in her best interest to be there in case what he presents is different then what is in the records as of now...  (which is not cs paid for 3-1/2 years.)  One day he says he's not going, which will result in a warrant, the next day he says he going...  So she decided that either way she's going to go...  Course she has to take a personal day from work, and miss a day on her extern, but she feels it's important.  (Court is in the county that he lives in which is 4 hours away)..  

My feeling is that if he does show, he'll either be going to jail in that county, or they will be transporting his ass down here... He has warrants in both counties on other charges, but they are all over 2 years old...  I don't think he will show.  It will be interesting.... 

have any of you or your children gone through the whole court process for unpaid child support?  what was the outcome? 

She went... and surprisingly he actually did too.  (I think his friends mom had ALOT to do with him being there)..  he has to pay almost $700.00 buy the 22nd of Feb, then goes back to court in March, has to actively search for work (he has to prove that he is looking)  if he doesn't do both of these things, they are going to put him in jail.  I'm really glad she went.. He was pissed that she was there.  I think he wanted to say some things to the court that he knows weren't true.  My dd asked him afterwards when he wanted to see his kids... his repsonse..... i don't know when i'll have time, i have to get a job.  ......  lol...  that's his mentality.   my dd takes care of all 3 kids, works full time AND is doing her extern at night. 

I just hope that he will  finally grow up..I know I'm hoping for alot here lol  but please.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jabs54
by Jeanine on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:37 PM

 I don't have experience in going to court for that.  My first husband was behind and I just called the courts and then they garnisheed his paychecks.  I do agree though, that your dd should be in court.  Good luck and keep us posted.

LEK19
by Platinum Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:47 PM

It really depends on the court system. I think some are better than others. Some keep giving the person who owes breaks. Others will expect them to tow-the-line from the start. And somewhere in between.

Is there anyone familiar with the system there that could clue her in? Some people learn how to play the Friend of the Court that prepares it all before court. It is really unfair when this happens, but it does in some places.

I did not petition for child support. If my ex would have pushed it, I could have paid him support even though we had her equal times. I was making more money than him. He agreed to no child support. I did not want to pay him a cent because he could not manage money well at all. It worked out for both of us and, most importantly, the best for our daughter. She was an older child and only had a few years left to be in the system. I think that is why the judge agreed to it. I am thankful I didn't have to deal with any support issues. I have a sister and friends who did.

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by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:02 AM

I'm glad she is going,
Please let us know how it goes & good luck :)

KittyGram
by Becky on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:12 AM

I'll have to ask my sister more about her experiences.  Her ex is a deadbeat.  He gets as far behind as he possibly can, and on the very last day before a bench warrant is issued, he pays the minimum to keep his ass out of jail.   

I can tell you, though, that she (my sister) does go to court as much as possible, and her presence there does encourage the judge to be firmer w/ the deadbeat.  (Of course it all happens all over again soon enough.)

MamaSnaps
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:28 AM

Well, if he files for an income tax return down the line she's got hope of getting some of it, but chances are? It's not going to happen.

My ex paid me exactly ONE DOLLAR in child support. That's it. Each year we get a piddly few hundred dollar check from his income tax-and the boys are grown now. He'll be caught up about 45 years after his death at this point.

I wish your daughter far better luck. Deadbeats are just... deadbeats. Just remember that blessings often come looking like curses. The deadbeat turned into a blessing for my husband and I. We raised the boys together with no interference and we never had that ste vs real problem that kids try to pull. They love my husband and he was a far better father than their 'real' father could have ever been. If nothing else I hope she get's that much too!!!!

campingmomof4
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:39 PM

 Every state is different.   In our state you get put in jail for back child support.  You can't get a drivers license, hunting or fishing license either if the courts are looking for you.   Once they get you in jail they make you work for the local trash companies and they take your paycheck for child support and the cost to live in jail. 

Maybe if more of them went to jail and had give up money they would pay it. 

My ex always paid.  Yes he tried to get it lowered as much as he could but he always paid. 

 


"One kind word can warm three winter months."
-  Japanese proverb

nybor48
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:49 PM

 do you happen to live in Washington? 

they have threatened him with jail, that would be one reason why he doesn't want to go to court.  he has a warrant in my county, plus i'm sure he has one in the county he lives in too..  he's just a real piece of crap.  and if it weren't for my grandkids, I would tell him that... lol

Quoting campingmomof4:

 Every state is different.   In our state you get put in jail for back child support.  You can't get a drivers license, hunting or fishing license either if the courts are looking for you.   Once they get you in jail they make you work for the local trash companies and they take your paycheck for child support and the cost to live in jail. 

Maybe if more of them went to jail and had give up money they would pay it. 

My ex always paid.  Yes he tried to get it lowered as much as he could but he always paid. 

 

Rileyscute
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:57 PM
My ex went to jail 3 times..the last time we went to court I took my daughter with me and introduced her to the judge (she was 14 at the time)..he paid until she was 18 after that
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Shellness
by Michell on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 No but one time my husband had 3 different states trying to get CS for the same 2 children and had to hire an attorney to get it straightened out! What a mess!

campingmomof4
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:53 PM

 No live in PA. 

Quoting nybor48:

 do you happen to live in Washington? 

they have threatened him with jail, that would be one reason why he doesn't want to go to court.  he has a warrant in my county, plus i'm sure he has one in the county he lives in too..  he's just a real piece of crap.  and if it weren't for my grandkids, I would tell him that... lol

Quoting campingmomof4:

 Every state is different.   In our state you get put in jail for back child support.  You can't get a drivers license, hunting or fishing license either if the courts are looking for you.   Once they get you in jail they make you work for the local trash companies and they take your paycheck for child support and the cost to live in jail. 

Maybe if more of them went to jail and had give up money they would pay it. 

My ex always paid.  Yes he tried to get it lowered as much as he could but he always paid. 

 

 

 


"One kind word can warm three winter months."
-  Japanese proverb

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