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my daughter is moving to new york help

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:38 AM
  • 18 Replies

my daughter told me she is moving to new york , she has a little boy that is 2. i also have another daughter that was married 3 months before this daughter found out she was pregnant. .my life changed so fast i didn't know what i was supose to do with  my time i cried all the time i had the blues so bad. about a year ago i finaly came to terms that my girls had left the nest some days it's still hard.i have 3 daughters and 4 grandchildren and a husband they are my world  i see them several times a week. my daughters boyfriend is from newyork and they have been talking about moving there today she told me they are definatly going, i do respect there desecion(however u spell it)  they feel like their son will have a better life both already have jobs lined up that pay good and have a house waiting on them. i know i am not the only mom to have a child move 17 hours away but i feel like part of my world is being ripped away from me . i do not drive on the interstate  and have never been on a plaine before.guess i will be flying soon. has anyone had a child that moved  so far away how do u accept this change? any advise will be wonderful thank you

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LadySaphira
by Lisa on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:10 AM

What part on NY are they moving to? I live in western NY, it is very pretty here. My oldest lives about 2 hours from me, not as far as you will be from your DD but I do not get to see him very often. He is supposed to come down to see us next weekend though. I can't wait to see him, it has been almost 4 months!


suzeebloch
by Ronna on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:18 AM

Well of course a part of your world gets ripped away from you when a child moves that far away!  My son moved to California for college just before he turned 18 - and that's 1800 miles away!  i cried and cried right after he left - I think that's normal - but you do adjust.  You never stop missing your child - but the distance gets a little easier as time goes by.  That was going on 5 years ago - he has since graduated and landed a job - but he will be staying in California. 

welcome to our group!  You will find LOTS of support and lots of other moms who are or have gone through similar situations! 

atlmom2
by Susie on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:04 AM
I am not a mom with kids that moved away. I was the kid that moved away. We moved from Indiana to NY state the day after we married. Moved and moved and even lived in Italy. 5 hours is the closest we ever lived by family. It is just something parents have to deal with. Odds are kids will move out of state. Families do not live in the same states any longer. Kids have to go where jobs are.
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Why123
by Nancy on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:57 AM

I live in Ohio.  My oldest daughter is my traveler.  She left for Brasil when she was 16 to be an exchange student.  She went to college in Arizona.  She got a job teaching in Mexico.  Then she went to get her ESL certification in Brasil on the Amazon.  Then she went to teach in Taiwan for a couple of years.  Now she lives in Georgia.  She and her sister were born in Italy and all 3 of my daughters started school in Korea.  My youngest daughter lives in Arkansas.  Although my son lives with me now, he was a Marine and was in Okinawa, North Carolina, Georgia and Texas.  My mom and my youngest brother live 3 hours away, that's the closest I have ever lived to them.  My other brother lives in Florida.  It is as it is.

homeskoolmama
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:02 AM

Both my boys left about the same time. VERY difficult and I've done my fair share of crying. I just have to remember I did my best, they are good boys and are moving one.

nybor48
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:13 AM

I'm sorry.  My son moved to CA from WA for about a year to go to school... scariest time of my life, but he got done with school and came home, got a good job, had a baby and now lives 10 mins to the east of us.  and the dd lives 10 mins to the west of us....  Some days i wish it were further lol... jk

It's hard to do, but just take it one day at a time, it will get easier.  Just think how fun the visits are going to be...And I hate to fly, but if it were to see my kids and grandkids, I would suck it up and go,  course the plane wouldn't have any wine left by the time we landed... lol 

naynay76
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:37 AM

thank you all for your advise to answer some questions she is moving to jamestown ny and i live northwest georgia

emptynstr
by Leanne on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:45 AM

 That whats Skype and Tango were invented for. My son is semi-settled in San Fran, we live in Illinois. He has lived in New Zealand and now travels internationally for his job (going to London on Sat, then Nicaragua in three weeks). I miss him terribly, well not really him, I miss the HUGS. when I say anything about missing him, he laughs and says we need to move to Cali, but he does have one rule, Mom is not allowed to cry when he is here. I get to tease him about that cause I think that it is if I cry he will too. Remember they miss us just as much as we miss them.

Take strength from the accomplishment's of your children. As hard as watching them go is, it means we have done our job and done it well.

Leanne




 We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

momma-t42
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:06 AM

 I'm sorry for what you're having to face with your girls growing up...and potentially moving away from you.

I have 3 grown daughters...My oldest is married, 25, and has an 8 month old baby girl.  Ha, I made my son in law promise not to move out of the area unless God Himself calls them to another location, and I had to hear from God as well ;)  (just a bit of humor).  I too would be sad if they moved away.  Instead, they are moving right across the street from us this summer, and I'm scared of that as well. :)

I remember vividly going through the blues as each of my girls graduated from high school.  Now, they are all out of the nest, I brushed off my knees from my pain and have relooked at my life differently.

I'm 43, and young enough to do things I've always wanted to do but couldn't when we were young and poor parents.

I do hair part time as well as work at a group home for troubled teen girls part time.  It has truely filled a void in my life and it has helped me become an even better mom to my grown girls.

A girl has a bond with her mom and while yours is looking to move away for now, if you're supportive and encouraging, she will more than likely want to move back closer to you eventually.  I have learned to bite my tongue, my disappointment or disapproval very well (which is HUGE for me to do)...it has honestly caused my girls to draw closer to me because I'm not chasing them down.

It's been great having them grown and on their own.

Sounds as if your girls will all remain close to you as well....for now, hold your head high in support of her decision, and it will come round full circle. :)

Best wishes

hugss
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:09 AM

I have one ds that moved to work in another state,
We still see him though ..
We Facetime weekly (like skype)
So it all works out.. it will for you as well :)

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