Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Wedding responsibilities= grooms family

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM
  • 94 Replies

As the grooms family, what do you feel is your responsibilities?

In years gone by, there was the "traditional wedding" and the etiquette rules. Seems those days are gone. But what did you pay for? Did the bride's family include you in the plans? How did you feel if not?

My youngest son is getting married in June. He and his fiance had it all planned out, we discussed it all. Then he left for basic. Everything has been changed and I know nothing now. Plus her family is wanting us to pay for things that are just out of our reach. hmmm how to handle it without making my son up set and being shut out?!?!?

Her mom wants us to pay for the rehearsal, no problem, BUT, she wants to include ALL their family. NO ONE will be in the wedding except my son and his fiance/the bride. YET her mom wants us to pay for 30 out of country guest.

uhh NO

What do you think? What did you do?

HELP

wedding

Dawn; daughter, wife, mom, MiMi

 Blogger @ http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com  and

writer for:  www.foodiefriendsfridaydailydish.com

by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
DesignGirl450
by Lynda on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:46 PM
2 moms liked this

Dawn, that seems ridiculous to me for you to pay for 30 guests for a rehearsal dinner.  You just have to explain that you don't have a budget for that, and just immediate family and wedding party can be included.  

Mariagma3
by Silver Member on Feb. 18, 2013 at 1:56 PM

 Dawn- My son is getting married in July. I would NOT pay for 30 out of country guests! Hell no! We are paying for the rehearsal dinner, and for us to get there and back. Plus, we have to get a motel, which should be costly as all heck! Me and her Mom agreed to do a huge barbecue dinner, some take out, etc. Very casual. Plus, we also have to pay for my dress, hub's outfit, and our grandson's outfit as ringbearer. So, we should be fully broke by the time July rolls around. My hub was also in a car wreck in December, so we don't know how we're getting there. It's in MI, we're in AR. Ahh shit! Good luck to you, stick to your guns! And your budget, don't get bullied into anything!

homeskoolmama
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:01 PM

oh man! Did I miss a post about your dh or did I forget?!?! Sorry!

We had agreed on a nice resturant, pricey but we were willing, paying for 11 people. Now we are looking at the out of COUNRY guest plus the 11. NO, can't and don't want to.

PLUS the mom is a pushy so and so and wants the highest dollar places.

I also have to get a dress, shoes , dh a suit, and help my mom get here. She'll stay with us but I'll help her with gas and stuff.

I know what you mean, by the end of June, we'll be broke. dh is working extra jobs now to save up for the rehearsal and clothes,etc... as it is.

Quoting Mariagma3:

 Dawn- My son is getting married in July. I would NOT pay for 30 out of country guests! Hell no! We are paying for the rehearsal dinner, and for us to get there and back. Plus, we have to get a motel, which should be costly as all heck! Me and her Mom agreed to do a huge barbecue dinner, some take out, etc. Very casual. Plus, we also have to pay for my dress, hub's outfit, and our grandson's outfit as ringbearer. So, we should be fully broke by the time July rolls around. My hub was also in a car wreck in December, so we don't know how we're getting there. It's in MI, we're in AR. Ahh shit! Good luck to you, stick to your guns! And your budget, don't get bullied into anything!


homeskoolmama
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:02 PM
1 mom liked this

the wedding etiquette books says < family of the bride and groom plus attendants/wedding party." she takes that to mean ALL family. I see it as bride, her mom, dad, brothers, groom and his parents. Preacher and photographer because he is a family friend.

Quoting DesignGirl450:

Dawn, that seems ridiculous to me for you to pay for 30 guests for a rehearsal dinner.  You just have to explain that you don't have a budget for that, and just immediate family and wedding party can be included.  


tiredmama42
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Things must have changed somewhere because every rehearsal dinner I have been too were just the wedding party.   I would only agree to that.  Any others who want to attend should pay for their own.  They will get a free meal at the wedding.

homeskoolmama
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:12 PM

My thoughts exactly

Quoting tiredmama42:

Things must have changed somewhere because every rehearsal dinner I have been too were just the wedding party.   I would only agree to that.  Any others who want to attend should pay for their own.  They will get a free meal at the wedding.


jabs54
by Jeanine on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 Aww man, I'm sorry.  Typical wedding drama :(  This is something that you and your son should be discussing.  Is he still in basic?  If it's not possible to talk to your son and you have to talk to the mother I would tell her you have agreed to pay for X amount of people at X restaurant, period.

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:17 PM

I always thought the rehersal dinner was just for those participating activly in the wedding (bridemaids, groomsmen, ECT) the couple and the parents and that is all I would pay for.

Esmrlda
by Esme on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:18 PM

 I dont think they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. I thought the rehearsal dinner was for the wedding party only.  Why cant those other guests all go out to dinner themselves by themselves. Maybe she can make them all a reservation and tell them a time and they can all go and get caught up with each other.   Uuuuugh I know this is easier said than done but  try not to get to stressed out about it.  I also thought that the grooms family had the option to paid for the honeymoon or gave the honeymoon as a gift and that was all their obligations.

homeskoolmama
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 2:19 PM

That's what I thought as well.

Quoting LadySaphira:

I always thought the rehersal dinner was just for those participating activly in the wedding (bridemaids, groomsmen, ECT) the couple and the parents and that is all I would pay for.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)