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Dilemma I am facing with my boyfriend & my daughter

My boyfriend has asked me to move in to his home this summer.  We have known each other for 29 years, have been dating for about 1 1/2 years.  His daughter is grown and out of house and mine is a freshman in college, 3 hours away but comes home frequently to visit.  He is totally against her having a room at his house.  I want at least a bed so that she can stay when she is home, he is not liking this.    When she is home she comes and goes as she pleases and he doesn't want this happening at his house, due to his work schedule. My daughter and I have talked and she is okay with the rule of staying there only when she is actually going to stay the night and hang out with us, not come and go, and stay with grandma or dad otherwise. (She is 20).  It just makes me crazy he is so against this, I mean she is my child, I am not going to just shut her out.  I don't know what to make of this, it's killing me


by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 6:34 PM
Replies (271-274):
suzeebloch
by Ronna on Mar. 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM

What you posted earlier made us think your daughter suffered abuse ...

I just went through a nasty divorce due to abuse to her by my ex (her stepfather) so everything is still fragile for her even though she won't admit it.  

We both went through counseling after all this happened and have been there for each other through it all, our bond is very tight, she is my baby.   

and our comments were based on what you said:

It just makes me crazy he is so against this, I mean she is my child, I am not going to just shut her out. 

I don't know what to make of this, it's killing me

I feel like I am abandoning her in a way

This is such a big deal for me because I have NEVER moved in with someone, it's been the other way around, kind of freaking me out, even though I love him to death.


Quoting MomOf2Stepmom5:

What happened to my daughter has nothing to do with me or her, just the douchebag that I was with for a very long time, shocked the entire town actually and this post is NOT about that.

I will update everyone when my family makes their decision.  You can hardly all call my bf a piece of trash when you know nothing about him other than this issue and for the record he and my daughter get along just fine.  Has nothing to do with that.  I have several months before I am making a decision and my daughter is actually thinking of staying in her college town for the summer to catch up on some courses and try and find a job.

ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY!



Grnyann65
by Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 5:03 PM

You're better off keeping your own place.

amylynn98
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 10:47 PM

If I were in your shoes, I'd leave him.  Why stay with someone who doesn't care for your daughter or how you feel?

Paralegaleagle
by on Mar. 12, 2013 at 12:03 AM
Why are you mad at us? You asked our opinion.... Forget it


Quoting suzeebloch:

What you posted earlier made us think your daughter suffered abuse ...


I just went through a nasty divorce due to abuse to her by my ex (her stepfather) so everything is still fragile for her even though she won't admit it.  



We both went through counseling after all this happened and have been there for each other through it all, our bond is very tight, she is my baby.   


and our comments were based on what you said:


It just makes me crazy he is so against this, I mean she is my child, I am not going to just shut her out. 



I don't know what to make of this, it's killing me


I feel like I am abandoning her in a way



This is such a big deal for me because I have NEVER moved in with someone, it's been the other way around, kind of freaking me out, even though I love him to death.






Quoting MomOf2Stepmom5:


What happened to my daughter has nothing to do with me or her, just the douchebag that I was with for a very long time, shocked the entire town actually and this post is NOT about that.


I will update everyone when my family makes their decision.  You can hardly all call my bf a piece of trash when you know nothing about him other than this issue and for the record he and my daughter get along just fine.  Has nothing to do with that.  I have several months before I am making a decision and my daughter is actually thinking of staying in her college town for the summer to catch up on some courses and try and find a job.


ENJOY YOUR SUNDAY!







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