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3 adult children and 2 of them are boys......

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:09 AM
  • 24 Replies

My oldest is 30, married and has kids.   He (they) never tell me anything. I called to find out if they would like hubby and me to visit of the first weekend of April so they can go out for the anniversary (they are military, only 3 hours away right now) and I found out my son's leg is worse (from a softball injury last fall) and he is going to see a neurologist because he has lost a lot of strength in his leg.   NOW WHY WOULDN'T THEY MENTION THAT?   I do talk to DIL often and If I don't ask questions, I know nothing!  She is a great girl, I'm not bashing her at all, she is a great mom and wife.  I just don't get why they don't share things.  This isn't the first time and I know it won't be the last!


My other son just bought a house, he moved into it on Friday.  I left work early and stopped at the grocery store and bought a few things and I went to put them in the fridge and got yelled at..... "don't put those in there, I'll do they way I want too" ( I wanted to scream), instead I just walked away and I stopped helping completely.  Then on Sat morning he calls me at 8:00 and asks to me to go shopping with him because he still needs lamps and a few other things.  OK, sure...I'll get my shower now, you can drive over here and we will take my car since it's a little bigger.   I sat here till 2:00 when my hubby finally called him to see if he was coming and he said "NO, a friend is stopping by later.   DON'T YA THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT ME KNOW??  

I didn't grow up with boys, and I know even I have to tell my husband to call his mom or dad for certain things or mention that maybe he should stop by and just say hi...  

My boys are breaking my heart....  I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it does. I wish I could make it stop bothering me so much.  

My daughter is nothing like that.  Although mom and daughter relationships are different. 

I texted Joel last night to see if would be ok to stop by and drop a few things off that he had forgotten and the pampered chef items I got him came.  He never texted back and I haven't heard from him all day.  

I have a temper, most of the time my mouth operates faster than my brain so I have to REALLY bite my tongue so I don't make things worse.  It's just so hard sometimes and  MY TONGUE HURTS...LOL l

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LadySaphira
by Lisa on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:03 AM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to the group. I think it is a guy thing on not telling parents stuff. My oldest doesn't call me very often, I usualy have to try and catch him on FB before he leaves for work in the mornings. 

Hippie64
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:26 AM
1 mom liked this

My grown sons can be very uncommunicative.  I get frustrated with it, too. 

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 6:34 AM
1 mom liked this

I hate to be flippent and say it's a guy thing but I think it might be..... I think you need to stop jumping when the one son says jump. He is just being selfish.

Hugs, Momma!

Tameez
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:09 AM

I couldn't agree more!!  I'm hoping his attitude changes a bit now that he has his own place, his own space....but, I'm sincerely doubting it!   Quoting Cindy18:


I hate to be flippent and say it's a guy thing but I think it might be..... I think you need to stop jumping when the one son says jump. He is just being selfish.

Hugs, Momma!


nana9106
by Darlene on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this

 Sometimes guys are guys....they want to prove that they are "the man" and mom gets stepped on. I'm so sorry you are going through that. My son doen't tell me anything until WAY after the fact. I guess i have gotten used to it.

((((HUGS))))

Tameez
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:57 AM

Yes they are, that's for sure.  I will have to get used to it as well, it's still going to tick me off though.  Don't ask me to do something and then not show up without even a phone call.  What did they say in Peter Pan....  "Bad Form" !!  LOL

Quoting nana9106:

 Sometimes guys are guys....they want to prove that they are "the man" and mom gets stepped on. I'm so sorry you are going through that. My son doen't tell me anything until WAY after the fact. I guess i have gotten used to it.

((((HUGS))))


homeskoolmama
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:08 AM

I understand. I have 3 sons, all of whom I was very close with, until they moved out. I hear from my youngest when he wants something, my middle son once a week or so, and my oldest when something is wrong.

jabs54
by Jeanine on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think guys just don't call their moms like a dd will.  I do agree that it was very rude of your son to not call to say he wasn't coming!  I would start saying no to their requests.

momma-t42
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I too think it is quite rude that your son asked for your help and didn't call when he changed his mind.

Take a step back....breath in...breath out.  And, once you're calm and the time presents itself (wait for that perfect time), let him know that it was disappointing he would think to ask for your help and you were willing, but then didn't give a thought about you waiting for him.  Find a word picture to use for him that will bring it to focus.  Such as, if he asks his wife to pick up kids from someplace he's expected to and she gets busy with day and forgets until the school calls him asking where he is.  Some example that he can relate to most. 

We don't live near our inlaws...but I will say how you react will speak louder than his initial 'slip' of his actions.

Again, I can see why you are upset about it...but like you said, make that tongue bleed by biting it.  It will be better for you in the long run.

You're a good momma! 

Tameez
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:37 PM

Thank you for the nice compliment.  I think I did a pretty good job.  I was a mom at 16, 20 and 22.  My husband and I will be together 31 years this months, we married 3/20/82.  My inlaws were such great role models in marriage and raising children.   My youngest will be 25 this month.....IT'S A GIRL !!   LOL !

Quoting momma-t42:

I too think it is quite rude that your son asked for your help and didn't call when he changed his mind.

Take a step back....breath in...breath out.  And, once you're calm and the time presents itself (wait for that perfect time), let him know that it was disappointing he would think to ask for your help and you were willing, but then didn't give a thought about you waiting for him.  Find a word picture to use for him that will bring it to focus.  Such as, if he asks his wife to pick up kids from someplace he's expected to and she gets busy with day and forgets until the school calls him asking where he is.  Some example that he can relate to most. 

We don't live near our inlaws...but I will say how you react will speak louder than his initial 'slip' of his actions.

Again, I can see why you are upset about it...but like you said, make that tongue bleed by biting it.  It will be better for you in the long run.

You're a good momma! 


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