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My old high school friends DD27 died.

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:26 PM
  • 39 Replies

 She called me last Thursday to let me know. I have know Lilly since 10th grade and we have kept in contact throughout the years. (33 years)  Her DD27 died on the 5th of March due to Sepsis.  She had Cystic Fibrosis and was in intensive care. 

  Lilly invited me to her DD's memorial on Thursday.  She said it was going to be a potluck to bring something if I want but if I cant thats okay too.  Im going to take a green salad since I have to drive 2 hours to get there. She says they will be celebrating her Dd's life. HerDD was cremated, not sure if they will be spreading her ashes that day but I am assuming they will be.

I have never been through this before. I have never had a friend who lost someone like this, I have really never lost anyone that I was close to except my grandpa, grandpa.    Is there something I need to do for her?  Something extra special, a card, flowers?  Or do you think just being there for the memorial will be enough to show my love and support? 


by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:26 PM
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by Lisa on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:38 PM
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I think beinbg there for her is enough but if it makes you feel better to take a card do so. I wouldn't take flowers personally because it is a "celebration" of te girl's life, not a wake or funeral.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:44 PM
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 When my mom died, my BFF (of 35+ years) came to the veiwing and funeral service, she hugged me, held my hand and walked around with me and helped me talk to people. It was awesome just knowing she was indeed 'there for me'. It was all I needed. Just be the true friend you are....that is what she needs

by Jeanine on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:14 PM
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 I'm sorry to hear that :(   I agree, just being there is all you need to do.

by Jeanine on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:15 PM her frequently to see how's she doing.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 2:50 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's loss.  When one of my BF's lost her father about a year ago, very unexpectedly, we (our other 2 BFF's) offered to take care of the After Service for her and her family.  Basically we just refilled food as needed, cleared away items that were finished.  We figured this way her and the family could mourn as they needed, mingle with the rest of the family and just not have to worry about anything.  

Not sure that is something you want to do or take on, but maybe just ask when you arrive if there is anything she needs help with.  Other than that, just being there is the best thing.  

by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:07 PM
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I always think a card is a nice touch.  Things like this is so difficult to know what to do as every grieving person grieves differently.  How nice you are making the trip to be with her.  She will forever appreciate that.

I am sorry for  your friend...I cannot even imagine... :(

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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:10 PM
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So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend's DD ;(
Hugs to all ..

by Rose on Mar. 18, 2013 at 3:38 PM

Going to the memorial is a wonderful way of saying I care. I always (this is just me though) bring a card and something to stuff in the freezer if you happen to be going to the house. If not, the card is enough.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

by Louann on Mar. 18, 2013 at 4:40 PM

I'm so sorry.  I think being there with her is mainly what she'll need.  When my dad died I was totally devastated.  I can't even put it into words.  I'd lost cousins, grandparents etc...but none of them compared to losing him.  The thing that comforted me most was the ones I am closest to being right beside me.  It gave me strength and comfort.  The cards are a nice touch too and especially if you write a short note in it.  I went back through those later on and then meant a lot.  Also even after some time had passed and I'd get a card from one of them....well, it meant the world to me.  Hugs to you and to her.  Keep us posted    :)

by Barb on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:04 PM
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See what charity they recommend for donations. Taking a meal over in a couple weeks would be nice. A card for sure, and it would be extra nice to write your thoughts about her daughter on the card. ((hugs))

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