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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

no respect

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:01 AM
  • 34 Replies
i seriously feel sick. my 19 yr old son who lives with me free of charge says tonight that he doesnt respect me now or never has. he treats me like dirt and always has. i was always the one ho made sure he hada roof over his head and all . i just dont know what to do with these out of control adult kids.
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:01 AM
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by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:14 AM
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Welcome to the group,
Why is he still living with you then?
Does he work or contribute to your house hold in any way?
Hugs to you hon ..
Sounds like you're going to have to *tough love* to him & lay down the rules or tell him to leave,
Let us know what happens :)

Quoting sweetsinglemama:

i seriously feel sick. my 19 yr old son who lives with me free of charge says tonight that he doesnt respect me now or never has. he treats me like dirt and always has. i was always the one ho made sure he hada roof over his head and all . i just dont know what to do with these out of control adult kids.



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LadySaphira
by Lisa on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:20 AM
2 moms liked this

gotta agree with this

Quoting hugss:

Welcome to the group,
Why is he still living with you then?
Does he work or contribute to your house hold in any way?
Hugs to you hon ..
Sounds like you're going to have to *tough love* to him & lay down the rules or tell him to leave,
Let us know what happens :)

Quoting sweetsinglemama:

i seriously feel sick. my 19 yr old son who lives with me free of charge says tonight that he doesnt respect me now or never has. he treats me like dirt and always has. i was always the one ho made sure he hada roof over his head and all . i just dont know what to do with these out of control adult kids.



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stepmominhell
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:29 AM
2 moms liked this
Time to show him who the boss is in your household. Now at the age of 19 he has the nerve to say to you... time for junior to leave the nest. He has no right to talk to you like that. If he can't show you the respect you deserve then its time for him to move on.

Once he is out you have the locks and/or deadbolts changed and show him what a lack of respect cost him. He is legally old enough to be on his own, and maybe this will force his hand.

But under no circumstances does he get to return. Ha has alteady shown you his true side, and what he thinks. If this is the way he feels good, go find somewhere else to love. Because you are no longer welcome here. When and if he can show you the respect you should receive he's not even allowed to stop in for a sandwich.
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sweetsinglemama
by Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:32 AM
no he pays nothing. he had a job for a short while but said he wouldnt help out . he said i could take care of myself. he was told to leave if he felt that way.he said i can leave
suzeebloch
by Ronna on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Remember, your legal obligation to provide him food and shelter ended when he turned 18.  If he is being disrespectful, I agree - change the locks on the doors and don't let him back in.  This is so much easier said than done but you have to stick to it.  If you don't YOU are making the choice to ALLOW him to disrespect you.  Yes, you CAN take care of yourself.  You will be able to keep from feeling sick - stress can do that, you know.

Hang in there, and keep us posted!  We are here to listen and hopefully can encourage you to move forward.


mac1940
by Mary Ann on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:09 PM

He would no longer be living with me.  Like Suzeebloch said, I would change the locks on the door.  Toughlove will undoubtedly be harder on you than it is on him, but it is for sure what is needed right now.  I think maybe you may have been to easy on him in the past which he thinks gives him the right to treat you with such disrespect but it's time for that to end and only you can end it.   It is past time he grew up.

KittyGram
by Becky on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:38 PM

 

Quoting sweetsinglemama:

no he pays nothing. he had a job for a short while but said he wouldnt help out . he said i could take care of myself. he was told to leave if he felt that way.he said i can leave

 He told you that YOU can leave???  Wow, he's got a lot of nerve.  YOUR house, YOUR rules, HE respects YOU.  But I was there myself with my daughter - from my own experience, the only thing that worked was when I finally told her she had to go. 

As some of the other women have already said, tough love is probably the only thing that's going to work.  And as he matures, some day he WILL thank you for it. 

Good luck.  It's tough, just as it says, "tough" love.  But so worth it!!!

EireLass
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:43 PM

I would tell him to leave in the morning. He no longer lives at this address.

louannwilkins
by Louann on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe you should pack his stuff and put it on the porch on the same day you change the locks.  Maybe then he would "get it".  Hugs to you

Esmrlda
by Esme on Mar. 19, 2013 at 3:10 PM

 He might respect her then.

Quoting stepmominhell:

Time to show him who the boss is in your household. Now at the age of 19 he has the nerve to say to you... time for junior to leave the nest. He has no right to talk to you like that. If he can't show you the respect you deserve then its time for him to move on.

Once he is out you have the locks and/or deadbolts changed and show him what a lack of respect cost him. He is legally old enough to be on his own, and maybe this will force his hand.

But under no circumstances does he get to return. Ha has alteady shown you his true side, and what he thinks. If this is the way he feels good, go find somewhere else to love. Because you are no longer welcome here. When and if he can show you the respect you should receive he's not even allowed to stop in for a sandwich.

 

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