I think I am just venting... I am not even ticked at this point just kind of disgusted.
Back story: My 21 year old is my problem child, my cross to bear and all that. We'll call him Gulliver because I think it fits him. Gullible and goofy and all that. He could be a leader, but he's a follower and usually follows right into trouble. REALLY intelligent, but dumber than a rock.
When he was 15 he got a job in a restaurant. We thought they'd fire him within a week. Lazy, zero work ethic and all that. He turned out to be an amazing employee and I was actually proud of him for once. That backfired on me too... He had $ that other kids didn't have and could do things other kids couldn't. He thought he was doing so fantabulous that he quit school and moved out. He's since quit or lost the job. Can't remember which now. And the OLD work ethic is back. He's done NOTHING for probably 3 or 4 years now.
He met this "girl" who is actually 11 years older in YEARS but about 5 years younger in maturity and intelligence. We'll call her Bertha because it fits... Just picture Honey Boo Boo's mom in a wife beater with long greasy hair. She has 2 children from a previous marriage. Ex has those kids because she has the same work ethic as my kid-NONE-and no sense of responsibility. Welfare city. In fact they are living in what is lovingy referred to as "food stamp camp." Trailer park full of welfare recipients. She is GROSS, nasty, filthy, lazy and really just dumb (not her fault for being dumb, I know!!) They've been together for the most part for probably 3 years now.
The responsibility level between them is horrific. Drugs-not heavy, just pot and what the kids consider to be the minor things. OF COURSE they don't seem to think that it actually does anything beyond getting you high for now and shouldn't be a problem. Kind of like drinking a beer. Did I mention dumb in there somewhere? Thought so.
He's done 6 months or near to it in the county jail for following a kid who broke into the firehall. They had the whole thing on video. Gulliver sat on a picnic table. THe other went to "pee" and broke in. Then he came and got mine and said "hey, the door is open!!!" and my dumbass went on in. Brilliance and common sense are not his strong point. THEN he SWORE TO GOD that it wasn't him on the video. It was. I watched it. I refused to bail him out.
Now, if I were Bertha I'd have smaked him stupid-not that it would take much. When the had her kids here he acted like a friggin 2 year old and would flat out be an ass so he could go off to smoke pot or play video games with a friend for the whole time. That left her and her kids with us. I refer to the whole lot of them as termites when they come to my house because EVERYTHING disappears They eat EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. I swear that soap and shampoo gets poured down the drain. The list is endless.
A year or two ago Bertha supposedly had a partial hysterectomy. VERY good thing, she should be spayed. I thanked my lucky stars on that day. Well... you know where I am leading here.
Neither one of them feels that fidelity is a virture to be cultivated and they've both screwed around. Bertha decided to go spend a month or two with one of their friends a few months back. The ex husband won't let her see her other kids unless I am responsible because he knows I will actually get the kids back-she won't. She intends to, but failure to plan doesn't exactly work when the kids live an hour and a half away. Can't walk them to the corner! SO... she wanted to see her kids and came back to Gulliver.
So, now Bertha is pregnant. Not sure how that happens when she supposedly had a partial hysterectomy, but... I thought for sure when I heard this it was a sympathy thing to get Gulliver to take her back after she got bored sleeping with the friend. I remembered the partial hysterectomy story. Yeah, well... Evidently I didn't hit the lottery this week because it turns out the hysterectomy story is the lie and she really is pregnant.
Which leaves me with a million thoughts and feelings and worries swirling about within me. The first two kids were taken for good reason. This won't be any different. She TRULY doesn't see what she's done that isn't in her children's best intrests or it's all someone else's fault. Never hers. Same with good ol' Gulliver. And frankly? He sucks as a parent and would prefer to rule by force. Bertha's little girl is 7 and still has bed wetting issues at night. I threw him out of my house over punishing her for that one. 1. it's normal up to and even beyond age 10 and 2. HE had no right to punish her. I digress... back to topic. So I can see this train wreck coming. We already have a "foster" of sorts here. He's 13. My own kids range from 15 to 24. They're grown long past baby, terrible twos, potty training, kindergarten and all of that crap. I know I'll not have much choice in the matter. THEN my logical mind thinks WAIT... that baby may well not even be his. In fact the dates indicate that it's a DAMN GOOD CHANCE. Logic, however, should never figure into this pair. And the other prospective father is even worse than Gulliver. Heavy drug dealer, abusive...
OF COURSE, Bertha and Gulliver have NOTHING. They've no clue how to care for anything and everything is disposable. They consume everything they touch. The trailer they are in had carpet. They've destroyed it and now they have plywood floors. I bought them sofa's about a year ago at a thrift store. Very nice, newer in really great condition. One sits on their front porch with the stuffing spread from here to Christmas and back. The other they ended up hacking up and using for firewood after it went to the same fate.
Back to the owning nothing. They need everything for a baby. I did TONS for my older son when their daughter was born and I'll do the same for the rest of the kids. It's a grandma's right to do those things! I WANT to do it for this one. But, I also know that everything I buy will get ruined and tossed out. IF the baby gets to use anything more than once I'll be shocked. I am torn here. I am ready to go shopping in the baby section and have a ball!! But I don't want to because it's not going to get to the baby anyway.
And while we're going BACK to things here there's the whole custody thing. I know what's going to happen and I wish I knew what to think or feel. IF it's my grand baby I will gladly take it and deal. Then again how am I ever going to know and really? If its not I wouldn't turn a baby away. Yet, I still want to know and I REALLY want to slap the stupid out of her. Hell, out of both of them!
Now that you've read my novel... got any words of wisdom for the mom who is usually the one full of words? There is sooooooooo much more I could add here. I have done everything I can from trying to help them find work to them living here to letting them destroy my camper living it it, transporting them everywhere... Lordy, you name it.
I am thinking a vacation in a warmer climate might fix everything instead of worrying about it!