New to this so I will try to be concise. My son came in for Easter with grandchildren, girls 6,5 and 3 ( she was sick.) Gramps and I were so excited to see them as my son is divorced and lives over 500 miles away. He arrives with an attitude, which has become more normal in his last few visits. He and my husband, sd, have had words before and he has just packed up and left, and then it blows over. We have been married for over 30 years but this is just a recent drama. My son moved in with us for a few months, uninvited, just assumed it was OK, a couple of times in the past 2years and this was the catalyst for all the drama, I think.
Visits are stressful as he just assumes that he is here on vacation, no responsibility, sleep in, drink beer and watch sports. My husband has health issues, heart problems, pacemaker, stents, bleeding ulcer and kidney failure, so lots of medical stress at the moment.
Saturday night, my daughter and family were coming and they decided to get a room at a hotel, so all the kids, they have 3 , and another daughter's family, they have 1, could swim. So 7 of our grandchildren were here. I decided that my husband was getting tired and we should leave and we had the car seats in our van, so we started packing up. Our 16 year old granddaughter had asked to also spend the night. All of a sudden I heard my son say well, he did not have to go, just assuming that it was OK for the kids to go home with us. As we were leaving, the last thing he said was that he would be right behind us. I love my grandchildren but after 4 days, I was exhausted.
But to get to the problem, my husband got up about 2:00 AM and my son was not home. Of course, then I could not sleep and got up. At 2:30, I sent a text, "where are you?" No answer. I thought that he probably had stayed at the hotel, but still had visions that he might have had an accident. My first husband, his dad, was killed in a car accident so I always fear the worst.
He arrived Easter AM about 8:30 saying "what was that all about," he thought that he was being responsible, by not driving after drinking. I agreed, if he had let me know I would have not stayed up all night worrying. He packed up the kids, he was planning on leaving that morning, but was not even going to have the kids say goodbye , obviously he did not. We had celebrated Christmas, birthdays and Easter. He left presents, lots of their clothing and just left.
i have always bailed him out. He owes us a lot of $$$ plus plus. For the last 3 years, I have had him on my cell phone plan, which of course, he was supposed to pay. Never has and has an attitude when I have told him to watch his data plan etc. I know this is such a minor thing but I am to the point that, as he is fond of telling his children, actions have consequences. I need to be done with his drama and I want to tell him that he has 2 days to either put the phone in his name or get another plan. I know that this will probably sever relations between us, but could they get much worse? Am I just being petty????