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I have a rather serious question

Posted by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:26 PM
  • 14 Replies
If you had a child with a terminal illness, would they get different treatment? Now I'm not talking dying in a few weeks or months. The child will probably live to adulthood (probably). He's on meds that cause extremely wild mood swings, he's very young so he doesn't comprehend all these shots and meds and IVS. He can't attend school, play sports, spend the night out, ect.
Please be honest as you can.
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by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Destiny846
by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Tears are streaming down as I read this Here is a hug and I used to work with special need children.

mac1940
by Mary Ann on May. 4, 2013 at 4:14 PM

As a nurse I have watched parents and children deal with this question over and over again and I have to tell you, I do not know the right answer.  I can tell you that what most of the children say is that they just want to be treated "normal".  And I understand that every family has a different interpretation of normal but I took it to mean they simply want to be treated as their siblings are.  And that I also understand is not easy for parents to do.  I can't help but believe that if I were in that particular situation, I probably would not treat them the same as I treat my other children and would hope I could make everyone understand why.   And go out of my way to treat each and every one of them as the very special child they are to me but they all have different needs, that the difference in treatment is not in the amount of  love I have for each of them.

njt320
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 4:47 PM
Yes he/she would be treated different by me anyways.
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kuntrylady56
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2013 at 5:36 PM

As the child is seriously ill they would need special care hence more attention from the parents. Its just a natural instinct to want to care for those who have special needs either physical or mental or both.

If I had a special needs child I would try to treat him as normal as possible given the situation. And if I had other children I would hope that they would understand they were all loved just the same but also understand that one needs more care,understanding and attention then they may.

I've never been in this situation so have nothing to base my opinion on it just the way I would think I'd handle the situation if it arose.

smile357
by Member on May. 4, 2013 at 6:12 PM

We always try to treat children as "normal" as we can but sometimes when you have a child with special needs special treatment just happens. I have a child with special needs also and I can say that it just happens. 


louannwilkins
by Louann on May. 4, 2013 at 6:55 PM

 Well....I had a cousin who had a terminal illness and although his family tried not to treat him different they did at times.  Honestly how could you not?  My son had seizures...while not terminal...it's devastating to see a 15 month old go through it.  He had grand mal seizures and they're awful to watch.  I know I treated him different.  I tried not to but the truth is that I did. 

kam013
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 8:19 PM

So my Nephew had an illness that we knew he would not survive (not even into adulthood).  Though we all treated him as a normal kid (as normal as possible given his illness) there was no way that he wouldn't receive some special treatment from each and every one of us.  We didn't know how long we would have him, so we wanted his life to be special/meaningful.  . . .  but for every special treatment that he received my Niece (his sister) received special time with Mom, Dad, cousins etc.  We all tried to keep her life as normal as possible as well. It was a tough balance at times, especially when he required a lot more medical attention, but she ended up an extremely well adjusted kid and now young adult.  

It is extremely difficult, especially for the younger kids to understand why they are different, what is happening to them and it is a struggle, but I believe a balance between normalcy and special can be found.  Since he cannot do much outside of the home like most children I definitely feel like some special treatment within the home is in order.  Involving the rest of the kids in making it special is the easiest way to avoid hurt feelings amongst them as well.

Hope this makes sense.  

Bmat
by Barb on May. 4, 2013 at 9:10 PM

It was hard to read this without crying.  I think that as Mary Ann said, I would treat each child as though each were special. The sick child would be a reminder that we never know how long we will have any of our loved ones.  I'd want the sick child to have a good life, as well as the other children. I remember when my little one needed a blood test and they sat him on my lap so I could comfort him, and he turned around and looked into my eyes. I've never forgotten this.

hugss
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by Hugs on May. 5, 2013 at 12:29 AM

I agree with this,
Hugs to you hon ;)

Quoting smile357:

We always try to treat children as "normal" as we can but sometimes when you have a child with special needs special treatment just happens. I have a child with special needs also and I can say that it just happens. 



LadySaphira
by Lisa on May. 5, 2013 at 12:58 AM

I think there is an instinct in all of us to treat a child with a severe or terminal illness a little special to make up for all of the things they can't  or get a chance to do. We want to make up for all that they are/will be missing.

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