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OMG! She actually listened to me for once.

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:48 PM
  • 11 Replies

As some of you may remember, my girl has been struggling in life and college since last Spring. At first it was that she decided her meds weren't working anymore. So she just stopped taking them. She didn't tell anyone until her semester was ruined.

Then she insisted on going with her college group to India for the Summer. There, she got heat stroke and nearly died. She was dumped at a local hospital and had no way to contact anyone most of the time. Meanwhile the professor and her fellow students went on with the classes and travel.

When we finally got her home, she got sick again and nearly died again in a hospital here. This time with a severe liver infection that was likely brought on by them restraining her and keeping her catheterized for too long in India.

Each semester since then she hasn't done well. She's taken full loads, the dropped, or had incompletes in most of her classes. I really want her to finish up. I don't want her to drop out.

Still, I was so frustrate a few weeks ago I went into her counseling session with her and really put the screws to her. The upside was that I became aware that she is still depressed and anxious and that is why she can't perform like she used to academically.

She has always done well academically. She loves school.

Over all this time she has recovered somewhat. She went from being completely detached and not talking much, to once again, arguing with me, talking and so on.

So this week I asked her, what will change during the Summer session at which she had planned to take four courses. Or the Fall for that matter in which she plans to take five? I went over her finances with her too.

She actually listened though I didn't know it. She rarely listens to me about anything. I guess that's her ADHD but she has decided to drop all but one course this Summer. I'm so relieved. She is also looking for a job. This way she will find out if she concentrates on fewer courses if it helps. A job will help her keep busy while doing something fairly normal. Also if she suddenly gets back her academic brain that will be shown by doing one course at a time.

Of course we are continuing with counseling though I am looking at other counselors. I don't like this one. She doesn't seem to listen to anything but her own POV. And her prescribing doctor. In the meantime my girl will be spending far less at her college. Yay!

This makes me even more hopeful for her future.


by on May. 5, 2013 at 2:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mac1940
by Mary Ann on May. 5, 2013 at 3:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I wish both you and her luck in fixing the problem.  Fewer classes should certainly lead to less stress and a job will probably increase her sense of independence and lessen her depression.  College life seems to have gotten so competitive and so overcrowded that it is certainly overwhelming.  

suzeebloch
by Ronna on May. 5, 2013 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree!  And I'm glad she actually did listen to you!  Isn't it nice when our offspring do that every now and then? 


Quoting mac1940:

I wish both you and her luck in fixing the problem.  Fewer classes should certainly lead to less stress and a job will probably increase her sense of independence and lessen her depression.  College life seems to have gotten so competitive and so overcrowded that it is certainly overwhelming.  



jabs54
by Jeanine on May. 5, 2013 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 It sounds like a good plan.  Good luck to your dd!

louannwilkins
by Louann on May. 5, 2013 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm SO glad she's been listening to you.  She really has been through a lot!!  Hugs to you and her.....hopefully it will get even better and better.    :)

hugss
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by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this

This is great news to hear,
Glad she listened, YaY!
Wishing her & you the best.  Keep us updated ;)

momma-t42
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 1:02 AM
1 mom liked this
You're a good momma. It's good to hear that she's hearing you. Hope all works out well.
LadySaphira
by Lisa on May. 6, 2013 at 6:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I hope she is able to beat this soon and get back on track. Sounds like she may be on her way.

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2013 at 6:55 AM
1 mom liked this

They do listen, they just don't want you to know it! LOL.

Good Luck to your DD.

~~CINDY

DesignGirl450
by Lynda on May. 6, 2013 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

You are doing the absolute best you can do as a parent, and it is great that she is paying attention to your advice.  Sorry your girl is having such struggles, and it must be painful for you to watch.  Not sure if I missed something in earlier post, but what was her original diagnosis, what age was that, and why is she taking meds?

Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Before she started college with an academic scholarship, she was evaluated. I'd seen her struggle with herself for over six years. I wanted her to have every chance to do well. We decided to possibly try meds for the first time. At that time she was diagnosed as ADHD and having depression.

Prior to that, she was in counseling in sixth grade, when she refused to go to school. A girl had been raped on campus. She felt unsafe there. She also felt it was a hostile environment for everyone. At that time, she was diagnosed with ADD and depression. I agreed with the depression but after reading about ADD I didn't agree with that.

Since begining college, she decided she had some aspinger but I didn't agree with that. She also decided she had PTSD from childhood which might be the case. She also likely has it from the trip to India. What happened to her there would likely break most people. I'm just glad to get her home at all.

Now she also says she has anxiety. This came up after her brother was diagnosed with it. Still, while trying to take the road test, which was years ago, she had had one panic attack. Also since coming back from India, at the doctor's office, she had a panic attack.

The meds she is on now are for anxiety, depression and ADHD.

Quoting DesignGirl450:

You are doing the absolute best you can do as a parent, and it is great that she is paying attention to your advice.  Sorry your girl is having such struggles, and it must be painful for you to watch.  Not sure if I missed something in earlier post, but what was her original diagnosis, what age was that, and why is she taking meds?



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