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Am I being to uptight?

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM
  • 43 Replies

My BFF and I have been talking about going to the sand dunes for the weekend for the longest time.  We finally found a time that worked for all of us so were going to borrow the In Laws RV and go to the Sand Dunes for the weekend and ride ATV's.   Bff lives 4 hours south of me so we are meeting in the middle.  I found a company that rents RV's and sets them up for you at the RV park of your choice so they are going to do that so our RV's will be right next to each other.  

We have also invited Dh's cousin and his wife whose company I thoroughly enjoy. They always pitch in, clean up, share food and help around camp.   Dh invited another one of his friends whom I am not to happy about because this guy is pretty much  moocher.   Claiming that he dosent have enough money because he dosent make alot of money but he DOES work full time.  So DH told Me he invited him and my response was well he needs to pay his share.  Dh said that he didnt feel right charging him because he got him some tires at a discount for a bike that dh has been building for 300.00 when they are normally 400.00.   I told Dh that he needs to pitch in at least 50.00. Dh mentioned that when they spoke he said so whats the deal just pitch in for food right and Dh say yeah thats fine.  slapping forehead 


Its going to cost each person 80 to 113 dollars depending on how we work the food out but the gas and the spot for the RV will come to 419.00 for the weekend divided 5 comes to 83.80 each.  Not a bad  price for a weekend jaunt if you ask me.  We saw this guy at a party Saturday night and he asks if he could invite his friend Maria (whom they are just friends) Dh says Sure! I shoot DH a nasty look and am thinking cant we just talk about this first. Who the hell is Maria?   Well its already out there so I tell DH friend that Maria has to pay her way. He says sure no problem.  I guess my pet peeve is this guy most likely wont pay his share then he invites someone else whom most of us have never met before.  This is going to be an intimate situation as it is. 

Another problem I have is I always end up doing all the work, menu, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. We will have to return the RV clean from head to toe before we return it out of our courtesy with a full tank of gas. Who do you think will do that?  Unless I delegate some cleaning chores before we pull out of the RV spot before heading home.  So I have an issue of people not paying their share and then cooking and cleaning after them.  This is supposed to be a vacation, no kids, no dogs and Im already feeling resentful. 

I need to talk to Dh tonight and tell him how I am feeling.

So am I being to uptight, what would you do?

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EireLass
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:24 PM

Hmmm. Well, unfortunately, what's done is done. Your DH didn't put out any rules at the time of invite, so naturally they'd not expect any. You can 'hope' Maria does the right thing, but don't count on it really. You say your other friends are going to come....aren't they going to be doing cleanup and food, etc?

kuntrylady56
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 3:39 PM

I think your husband should explain to his friend how its supposed to be working with everybody chipping in for gas ect. especially now that hes invited someone else to go too. He invited them so it his responsibility. I personally would kicked mine in the butt for inviting someone without talking to me first.lol   

I feel the same way when going with family and or friends. Everybody is going to enjoy theirselves so EVERYBODY should help do the cooking and cleaning especially when going camping.Its just being curteous to help out.

Maybe if you speak to your husband everything will work out okay. It sounds like a great time,I hope you get to enjoy it.

Esmrlda
by Esme on Jul. 1, 2013 at 4:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, Dh's cousin and his wife are invited but she still has to find out if she can get that day off and yes they do help out so at least that is something.

Quoting EireLass:

Hmmm. Well, unfortunately, what's done is done. Your DH didn't put out any rules at the time of invite, so naturally they'd not expect any. You can 'hope' Maria does the right thing, but don't count on it really. You say your other friends are going to come....aren't they going to be doing cleanup and food, etc?


Esmrlda
by Esme on Jul. 1, 2013 at 4:45 PM

Seriously and I am miffed about him inviting him without discussing it with me either and then letting him invite his "friend".   Yes Im going to have him explain to them how it will work.... if not then he can be paying for his friend and me and I will delegate jobs for everyone to do.

Quoting kuntrylady56:

I think your husband should explain to his friend how its supposed to be working with everybody chipping in for gas ect. especially now that hes invited someone else to go too. He invited them so it his responsibility. I personally would kicked mine in the butt for inviting someone without talking to me first.lol   

I feel the same way when going with family and or friends. Everybody is going to enjoy theirselves so EVERYBODY should help do the cooking and cleaning especially when going camping.Its just being curteous to help out.

Maybe if you speak to your husband everything will work out okay. It sounds like a great time,I hope you get to enjoy it.


USBrit
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:13 PM

Well, I think if DH already made the commitment it would be hard for him to back out now. The better approach would be to say. I am only cooking and cleaning for us. Everyone else needs to have a plan too. Sounds like you are being used as a doormat for everyone else's fun based on what you wrote.

Esmrlda
by Esme on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:26 PM

And thats how I am feeling. Thanks

Quoting USBrit:

Well, I think if DH already made the commitment it would be hard for him to back out now. The better approach would be to say. I am only cooking and cleaning for us. Everyone else needs to have a plan too. Sounds like you are being used as a doormat for everyone else's fun based on what you wrote.


JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Are you and I married to the same man? lol I can totally relate to the position you're in right now. There has to be a way to salvage this so your weekend isn't spent giving your DH the stink eye. Maybe make it clear from the second you all get going that this is supposed to be a vacation for you too and in a lighthearted way say; Everybody's got to do their part otherwise this trip is going to be ruined for me. I really need your help. Okay?! Now let's go have fun.

BTW: your trip sounds like so much fun!

Esmrlda
by Esme on Jul. 1, 2013 at 6:21 PM
1 mom liked this

haha a pretty close second, thats for sure.  I like your plan..... I guess there are dunes up in Oregon that you can ride in too.

Quoting JenniferW67:

Are you and I married to the same man? lol I can totally relate to the position you're in right now. There has to be a way to salvage this so your weekend isn't spent giving your DH the stink eye. Maybe make it clear from the second you all get going that this is supposed to be a vacation for you too and in a lighthearted way say; Everybody's got to do their part otherwise this trip is going to be ruined for me. I really need your help. Okay?! Now let's go have fun.

BTW: your trip sounds like so much fun!


louannwilkins
by Louann on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:01 PM

Ok if it were me the first thing would be a conversation with dh about inviting people without talking to me about it.  That would be corrected first!!  lol  I mean, he should have respect to run it by you before asking someone else, ya know.  The next thing would be this....dh needs to talk to his friend and say look....I didn't really know what all was going on but I just found out from everyone that we all need to pay this amount.  He also needs to make it clear that everyone helps on these get togethers.  If he isn't willing to do that then DH could do all the extra cooking and cleaning and I'd go sit down and read a book or ride a 4 wheeler or do what ever in the heck I wanted to.  lol  Hugs to you!  I don't think you're being too uptight.  It's called respect....they all should have it. 

robin1953
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:07 PM

I totally agree with you. I'd be upset with DH. I'd want the friend and his friend to be uninvited if they can't pay like every one else. Can you make a clean-up chart to help get the RV ready to return?

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