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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Do you think that at 18 kids should get an automatic 'boot to the butt' out?

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:58 PM
  • 34 Replies

If you all remember, my son leaves for college in a couple weeks and my oldest has already moved out. They were both over the age of 18 before they moved out.
I have a high school friend who I recently reconnected with who has 17 yr old twins. They just graduated from high school in May. They will be 18 in October. 
She is literally counting down the days until their 18th birthday so she can give them a 'boot to the butt' out. She isn't a bad parent from what I can see and her girls adore her, but she has very set ideas about her role as a parent and she believes that at 18 children should leave home and make their own way in this world. It happened to her and she raised her girls this way.

I am not saying that it is right or wrong, just wondering if anyone else believes this way too. 

When did your kids leave home and under what circumstances ie college, their own wil, booted out etc...

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Why123
by Nancy on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:03 PM
5 moms liked this

My children will be my children until the day I die, not only until they turned 18 and they will always be welcome in my home.

mom23heathens
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:09 PM
3 moms liked this

 My kids will stay as long as they need or want to. My oldest turned 18 2 months after her senior year started, if i thought that way i would have thrown her out while still in high school. She is 23 now and has since moved out but she was here for her first year of college and left when she got married. My son is about to graduate from college and although he attends out of state this is still his home. He has a room with his things here. My youngest is only 10. I stayed at home until i decided to move out and my mother was upset when i left. I moved back home several times throughout the years. Once when I was assaulted, and again when I went through a divorce. I could never "throw" my kids out. My husband would go first lol. I do however think things would change. Rules I mean. Mine is not a "flop house". I am not the maid, the concierge, the laundress, etc. They were expected to follow my rules which i guess would eventually lead to moving.

Reina13
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:10 PM
2 moms liked this

I feel the same as you.

My kids worked and were responsible for things like their car insurance and cell phones, maintaining their rooms and helping around the yard and house. While I want them to be successful adults, personally I don't think booting them out before they may be ready (have stability) is beneficial.

Quoting Why123:

My children will be my children until the day I die, not only until they turned 18 and they will always be welcome in my home.


EireLass
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:24 PM

My door has always been open to my kids. When my kids went off to college, they never lived at home again.

javakitty2011
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:28 PM
2 moms liked this

I already have an 18 year old and she starts her senior year in high school in August. I would never even consider kicking her out just because she is 18. 



Apatosaurus
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:43 PM

My home will always be open for my kids for as long as they need. WE all some responsibly to each other including grandchildren in the home. There was a need I saw no other way. My child needed a place to stay at the time I needed help after surgery. Gods timing was just right. She now has a job. She is waiting for the day she and her children can be on their own. Do we have days of stress."In Deed" as Mr. Spock would say it on Star Trek." It was the Logical thing to do." My husband would like them to have there own place, but right now is not a good time. He is a good father and grandfather. She told me she was looking for a place, just checking it out anyway. I will miss hee and the kids when she does leave, but I am her babysitter, so I will always be around. 

Someday it will be our turn. I pray I never stay in a nursing home unless it is for a short time. That is a long way down the line.

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 3:48 PM

Mine are still here so no real age here. 

The first thing I thought was....well, if her girls were raised this way then it isn't a shock for them. 

My thought is that they can stay here until they are financially able to get a place of their own.

emptynstr
by Leanne on Jul. 23, 2013 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this

It was never an age thing in our house more of a "now what" situation. After HS graduation they were expected to go to college, if not, get a full time job. Which ever path was their choice but they no longer had a free ride at home. Both choose college and never came back home.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 23, 2013 at 4:17 PM
1 mom liked this
No. I lived at home not paying rent till I got married at 23. I worked but did not pay rent.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bmat
by Barb on Jul. 23, 2013 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this

As long as they were full time at something - job or school- I didn't worry. But sitting at home without an occupation was not allowed. Mine did come back after college for a while, but they had jobs, and the older son has moved back twice for a few months. He offered to pay rent, but I said since it was temporary then not necessary. My reasoning for all this was that I didn't want them to feel that home was a place to veg out and not bother working.

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