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How she did at the con and more

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:46 PM
  • 14 Replies

So my girl decided to go to a con. I found out by seeing it on facebook. I was more comfortable with this plan than other's she has made such as the one day trip to the beach which made no sense and happily never happened. Because she would have the time to do this one.

I didn't like that she was paying for the hotel room and tickets for everyone in her party. I really don't want to know how much this cost total but I know it will be expensive.

I told her this was a chance to rebuild trust with me. If she would take her meds, sleep right, eat right and not have any crisis that would be fab.

Well, happily she didn't have a crisis the whole weekend or at least if she did, she handled it with her friends.

I had a wonderful holiday weekend not worrying (much) about her or my mom.

We had the grand kitty and tried to help her be more pleasant to her auntie kitties and bond some with us.

But last night she suddenly had an "emergency list" of things she wanted me to deliver. This after I'd delivered the grand kitty to her and she wouldn't answer her phone. She looked like she'd been sleep.

So I told her she could get all of the things she wanted from a store she can walk to.

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:46 PM
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suzeebloch
by Ronna on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:22 PM
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I am assuming by "con" you meant "concert"  ??  If so, which concert did she attend?  Did she really end up paying for a hotel room and tickets for everyone in her party?  How many in her party?  Why would she do this?  lol. 

I'm glad to hear that nevertheless, all seemed to go well - I would have to assume that "no news is good news."

what's up with your mom that you didn't worry about her?  Sorry.  I might have missed something along the way there.

Glad you had a wonderful holiday ... I was actually kind of bored this weekend.  lol. 

LEK19
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Glad you enjoyed your weekend! 

Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:57 PM

No. Not a concert but a convention, Thursday - Monday.

I'm not sure if she paid for everyone because an extra person came that she didn't expect. But she paid for the room, and three tickets and it was expensive. When I asked her why she was "being Santa Claus" to these people, she said because she wanted to go and have someone go with her. She doesn't drive so yeah, she needs someone with her.

Btw, this is a con I've always sort of wanted to go to but didn't have the time or money for. LOL

I usually don't talk about my mom here. But this four day weekend was such a treat without as many worries about  her and my girl in it.

My mom is toxic to me and lives in a hell of her own making that she is not willing to give up. Recently I thought it was clear that she needed help and might be starting on dementia. I got information together and was willing to go through the process that would be long and laborious to get her evaluated and get her help, but she once again wouldn't take it.

Instead, she attacked me verbally, over and over, and this is what she does to anyone who spends any time with her. Until I got fed up with the abuse and told her I needed "space".

It's remains a worry for me that she needs help so badly but won't take it. Since my daddy died over 23 years ago, she has been depressed and miserable. She has had every mental diagnosis and drug possible, plus nearly every therapy including electric shock and none of it has made any difference. Many of the therapies or drugs have been disastrous to her.

I've lost count of her suicide attempts. I don't think she has done that in the last five years but she has pushed me away. Like a drug addict that only wants other drug addicts around them. If you are not on drugs and mentally ill she doesn't really want you around.

Though she claims I'm the only and most important thing in her life. She is horrible to me and my husband and kids. She is dangerous to us and herself. I never had someone I could trust to baby sit my kids in the family.

She also has arthritis, fibromyalgia, ADHD, and chronic fatigue or at least those are some of her latest diagnosis. But, as I said before she has also been diagnosed as bi polar, borderline personality disorder and many more than, those diagnosis are discarded and they move onto the next thing.

She often tells me she hasn't gotten out of bed and can't do so for several days but then she will say something about her mail or whatever that tells me she did get out of bed. She often tells me her condo is dirty and terrible, the cats haven't been fed and so on. But when I show up unscheduled it all looks done, the cats are fat and happy. So in spite of the fact, that she thinks she knows what she can and can't do, I disagree.

She regularly talks about how she doesn't understand why she has to live and so on. She is on so many pain killers and other drugs she doesn't know if she is coming or going. She's been wanting to die for 23 years now.

She seems offended that she can't control me, pay me or have me worship her. Try as I might, worries about her tend to creep into my brain. I'm working on it. But at times like this they are a little less and also tend to come at me as nightmares.

You would think she would love to have a child who wanted to help and didn't want her things or money but no. You would think my track record of being ethical and responsible would count for something but not with her. Oh well. Once again I have to back off and let us both have space, then try to repair this somewhat for the holidays.


Quoting suzeebloch:

I am assuming by "con" you meant "concert"  ??  If so, which concert did she attend?  Did she really end up paying for a hotel room and tickets for everyone in her party?  How many in her party?  Why would she do this?  lol. 

I'm glad to hear that nevertheless, all seemed to go well - I would have to assume that "no news is good news."

what's up with your mom that you didn't worry about her?  Sorry.  I might have missed something along the way there.

Glad you had a wonderful holiday ... I was actually kind of bored this weekend.  lol. 



jabs54
by Jeanine on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 I have no idea what a con is but I'm glad she did well.

mac1940
by Mary Ann on Sep. 3, 2013 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

So glad she did well at the con and you were able to enjpy your weekend.

Maddie24
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 You have a tough road with your mom.  I grew up in this kind of environment with my mother - except she was not abusive - she just was manipulative due to her meds.  Most of her medical care was experimental and they almost killed her or cause her to kil herself.  As a child, I was responsible for a lot as well as making sure she was safe - which is impossible.  My parents did the best they could and thankful I got to see her get off the meds and attend a pain clinic.  My dear sis took the reigns to watch over her in later years and mother was our biggest fan - she finished well.  I am sorry that your mother has not chosen to be a contributing family member - I know this has to be painful for you.  You handle a lot with your daughter and mom.  You are right to protect your sanity and have expectations of them.  I am impressed with your level approach.

melissa632
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:16 PM
Dragon con?
Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:16 PM

Thanks so much. *HUGS* I always felt I was the only adult among my early childhood caregivers.

I'm so glad your mother and family had a better ending to things.

I can only hope someday my mom will turn things around.


Quoting Maddie24:

 You have a tough road with your mom.  I grew up in this kind of environment with my mother - except she was not abusive - she just was manipulative due to her meds.  Most of her medical care was experimental and they almost killed her or cause her to kil herself.  As a child, I was responsible for a lot as well as making sure she was safe - which is impossible.  My parents did the best they could and thankful I got to see her get off the meds and attend a pain clinic.  My dear sis took the reigns to watch over her in later years and mother was our biggest fan - she finished well.  I am sorry that your mother has not chosen to be a contributing family member - I know this has to be painful for you.  You handle a lot with your daughter and mom.  You are right to protect your sanity and have expectations of them.  I am impressed with your level approach.



Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:18 PM

I'd rather not say which location or con she was at.


Quoting melissa632:

Dragon con?



Maddie24
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Parent that have these types of problems are like children - never lose hope, but don't fall in their rabbit hole!  It is hard to learn how to deal with that situation without years of experience, emergencies, scares and pain.  Hugs!

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

Thanks so much. *HUGS* I always felt I was the only adult among my early childhood caregivers.

I'm so glad your mother and family had a better ending to things.

I can only hope someday my mom will turn things around.

 

Quoting Maddie24:

 You have a tough road with your mom.  I grew up in this kind of environment with my mother - except she was not abusive - she just was manipulative due to her meds.  Most of her medical care was experimental and they almost killed her or cause her to kil herself.  As a child, I was responsible for a lot as well as making sure she was safe - which is impossible.  My parents did the best they could and thankful I got to see her get off the meds and attend a pain clinic.  My dear sis took the reigns to watch over her in later years and mother was our biggest fan - she finished well.  I am sorry that your mother has not chosen to be a contributing family member - I know this has to be painful for you.  You handle a lot with your daughter and mom.  You are right to protect your sanity and have expectations of them.  I am impressed with your level approach.

 

 

 

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