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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Ugh. Hardest phone call w/dd1

Posted by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM
  • 32 Replies

So dd1 called a few minutes ago, excited about her house search and after telling me she was "close by" and 'they' were planning on stopping by....here's the convo:

Me-Ok, well I do not want bf in the house.
DD1-Seriously???
Me-Seriously
Silence
Me-After everything, I feel he owes me an apology to at least begin to show some manner of respect.
DD1-Ummm. Well, ok. We were going to see if his car (which is sitting in the front of my house) would start so that was part of it, but ok.
Me-Okay.
DD1-Well alright then. I love you. Bye.
Me-I love you too.

Maybe she will soon grasp how serious I am about the respect issue. Until then, I'm thinking if I hold my breath, I will die before I get to open any Christmas presents. 

by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
terri-553
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 2:26 PM
2 moms liked this

It is hard but sometimes we have to take a stand,no matter how painful

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Nov. 6, 2013 at 2:37 PM
2 moms liked this

We can certainly HOPE that one day "they" will "get it."

but I say this all the time, too, that I won't hold my breath because I don't want to pass out.  lol.  I like your version better - about not being able to open you Christmas presents!  too funny.

and hey, at least your daughter (1) still calls you and (2) seems to be agreeable with your new rule and (3) still says, "I love you."  that right there to me says it will all be okay one day ... just hang in there ... !!!

alwaysbelieve
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I know. I am learning to stand up for me after 27 years of standing up for my kids. Thank you for your support!

Quoting terri-553:

It is hard but sometimes we have to take a stand,no matter how painful


alwaysbelieve
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 2:51 PM

Tis the season after all!!!!

I think after ds2 passed, we have all been very cognizant to make sure we let people know they are loved and love doesn't have anything to do with "issues".

A few minutes after we hung up, the door chime went off and she came knocking on my bedroom door. She played with the puppies. We talked about the 'house offer' and bf was outside working on his car (which started-yay!). All in all a peaceful conversation.

I don't want the issue that I have with bf to affect our relationship as a whole but I am fearful it will affect those 'important moments'.

Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

We can certainly HOPE that one day "they" will "get it."

but I say this all the time, too, that I won't hold my breath because I don't want to pass out.  lol.  I like your version better - about not being able to open you Christmas presents!  too funny.

and hey, at least your daughter (1) still calls you and (2) seems to be agreeable with your new rule and (3) still says, "I love you."  that right there to me says it will all be okay one day ... just hang in there ... !!!


jabs54
by Jeanine on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:06 PM

 

Quoting alwaysbelieve:

Tis the season after all!!!!

I think after ds2 passed, we have all been very cognizant to make sure we let people know they are loved and love doesn't have anything to do with "issues".

A few minutes after we hung up, the door chime went off and she came knocking on my bedroom door. She played with the puppies. We talked about the 'house offer' and bf was outside working on his car (which started-yay!). All in all a peaceful conversation.

I don't want the issue that I have with bf to affect our relationship as a whole but I am fearful it will affect those 'important moments'.

Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

We can certainly HOPE that one day "they" will "get it."

but I say this all the time, too, that I won't hold my breath because I don't want to pass out.  lol.  I like your version better - about not being able to open you Christmas presents!  too funny.

and hey, at least your daughter (1) still calls you and (2) seems to be agreeable with your new rule and (3) still says, "I love you."  that right there to me says it will all be okay one day ... just hang in there ... !!!


 It sounds like it went well :)

DixieL
by Dixie on Nov. 6, 2013 at 3:46 PM

I'm sorry for what you are going through with your daughter. It might take a while, but she will change. You just have to wait, until she matures a little. Good Luck, and I hope it's a lot sooner than later.

Esmrlda
by Esme on Nov. 6, 2013 at 5:09 PM

One thing I have noticed about kids....is they dont stay mad at you for very long.   Thats right teach him how to treat you!  you rock

alwaysbelieve
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 6:05 PM

Thank you.

I hate time sometimes. Maybe my ds#1 (still trying to learn how to type them-ok Ryan) got his ADD from me wink mini

Quoting DixieL:

I'm sorry for what you are going through with your daughter. It might take a while, but she will change. You just have to wait, until she matures a little. Good Luck, and I hope it's a lot sooner than later.


alwaysbelieve
by on Nov. 6, 2013 at 6:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh my Bria (dd#1) holds a grudge for sure!

I think in the back of my heart I'm a little hurt that she hasn't looked at bf & said "WTF? That's my MOM!" But in the depths of my heart I know she also knows me and has learned well enough that if it doesn't come from ones own heart, it loses validity.

Thank you!!!! 

Quoting Esmrlda:

One thing I have noticed about kids....is they dont stay mad at you for very long.   Thats right teach him how to treat you!  you rock


DesignGirl450
by Lynda on Nov. 6, 2013 at 10:26 PM

You are in a difficult place with your daughter as she feels divided, but I hope the situation improves.  

Quoting alwaysbelieve:

Oh my Bria (dd#1) holds a grudge for sure!

I think in the back of my heart I'm a little hurt that she hasn't looked at bf & said "WTF? That's my MOM!" But in the depths of my heart I know she also knows me and has learned well enough that if it doesn't come from ones own heart, it loses validity.

Thank you!!!! 

Quoting Esmrlda:

One thing I have noticed about kids....is they dont stay mad at you for very long.   Thats right teach him how to treat you!  you rock



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