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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

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Posted by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 9:51 PM
  • 12 Replies
Hi,
I have 4 kids ranging from 16 to 23, recently let my 23 year old son move back home after he lived with his gf for year,after 2 months found drugs and booze in his room and also found he took money from me.i confronted him,he denied it,so i threw him out.He went to live with my ex who accused me of being a bad parent for throwing him out. I am tired of being taken advantage of. Thoughts?
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jabs54
by Jeanine on Nov. 10, 2013 at 9:59 PM

 Welcome to the group.  It sounds like you did what needed to be done.  Sorry for your troubles :(

Maddie24
by Gold Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Welcome to the group!---- but you have to be kidding.  Your ex thinks it is ok for your Adult son to have drugs in the house ... with the other minor children.  Really?  Wrong.  He needs to stand up and help out here - not throw rocks at you.  Your adult son needs to learn how to be self-sufficient and respect you, his siblings and your home.  At 23 he is making his own choices which are not your fault and he is really old enough to support himself.  I am not sure how long good old dad has been out of the picture, but it is always frustrating to me when I hear good old dad spout his wise words of wisdom on child rearing when they have not been a big participant in the first place.  Hang in there.  Keep setting a good example of what is right, tell them both to grow up and focus on your younger ones.  From my experience, 16-25 year old children can be a tough crowd to live through.  But they are great once they finally get it!

hugss
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by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:10 AM

Welcome to the group,
Yes it does sound like you did the right thing,
Now stand firm with your choice.
Big hugs & orry you are having to go through this ;)

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Nov. 11, 2013 at 5:00 AM
1 mom liked this

Ugh.  I know about ex-husbands and how they love telling you what a bad parent you are.  Been there! 

You did nothing wrong.  Drugs and booze are not okay, whether there are minors living in your house or not, but even more so when there are!  Denial is pretty much standard in these cases.  Theft is theft.  Did you report it? 

Easier said than done, but do ignore your ex.  Don't let his comments get to you.  Concentrate on your other children for now.

and welcome to our group!  Please come back soon, join in some of the daily posts so we can get to know you better, and you get to know us better.  In my humble opinion, MWAK is the BEST group here at CM!

Why123
by Nancy on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:59 AM

Hi and welcome to the group.

LadyDiamond927
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 10:00 AM

welcome

mac1940
by Mary Ann on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Welcome.  I do think you did the right thing and if your ex tolerates this behavior in his home, he is the bad parent not you.  Your son is an adult and I guess that gives him the right to use drugs and alsohol, but  you have the absolute right to set the rules in your home.    I can slmost bet that should your son continue with the drugging, drinking and stealing, your ex will soon be throwing him out as well.  

gonecrazi
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 12:25 PM

 Welcome to the group.

stuckinthemid
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:29 AM

Thank you everyone, its so helpful just to have someone to listen too and can sympathize. as of today, still no word from him, but I do know he's safe but angry at me. 

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:52 AM

Welcome to the group!

You are not a bad parent for not letting a 23 year old live with you! 

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