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THIS YEAR:ALONE FOR THANKSGIVING

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        This year i 'm going to be alone for THANKSGIVNG. It's not my choice or decision but it is what it is! My daughter will be spending  Thanksgiving with her boyfriend's family this year. I will be cooking and being alone. I earned it! MY FRIENDS ARE CONCERNED! They shouldn't be. I could get upset or accept it. I  understand that she is grown now. This time of year is about family and friends. My dad ahs been dead for 6 years. My dad loved the holiday season CHRISTMAS being his favorite time of the year.I've bee n forced to have THANKSGIVING ALONE this year.  I'm cooking all my fav foods .No TURKEY. If they change their minds they can't come because i cooked my fav foods not hers and not  to sound selfish but not so he can come through and eat.  I  could see if she came by bought a turkey and we cooked food for them SHE COULD TAKE IT HOME WITH HER and that would've been fine! So i'm dealing with a lot and i'll be okay. My dauhgter turned 22 last  month and i have bben a spiritual mother to her friends and my ex s.o will be out of my life . I  have to get used to being single and doing things by myself. I  have  no grandchildren yet. Time to embrace being happy. I MAY GET LONELY BUT I CAN COME ON CAFEMOM to  talk and connect.HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! God bless all of you!

by on Nov. 18, 2013 at 10:28 AM
Replies (11-20):
Esmrlda
by Esme on Nov. 18, 2013 at 6:25 PM

It sounds as if this is bitter sweet for you.  I say embrace it while you can. Enjoy your own company and your favorite foods.  Maybe a few concered friends will stop by.

I have spent one Thanksgiving alone and it was harsh.  A very emotional time for me.

hugs

Ambear72
by Amber on Nov. 18, 2013 at 8:52 PM

 If you were closer to me I would come get you and have you have dinner with us.  I am kind of not looking forward to thanksgiving this year myself.  We cant go see family like we usually do and I dont have parents either.  I have no clue what my brother is doing.  I asked and got the cold shoulder from my SIL and she said she would have my brother call me and she never did.  So I am just gonna fix dinner here for my family.  I will also feel lonely, because Thanksgiving for us is usually full of family.  We wont have that this year.  So HUGS to you!

Maddie24
by Gold Member on Nov. 18, 2013 at 9:49 PM

 I understand, I spent many Christmas days and Thanksgiving days without  my girls when they were with their dad.  I usually just worked on those days - yes Christmas and Thanksgiving.  I got used to it, but it can be depressing if you let it.  You are doing all the right things to remember this is a new phase of life, do something you like, be positive, enjoy your time and look foward to something! 

DixieL
by Dixie on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:04 AM

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU, AND GOD BLESS YOU TOO. I know you are alone right now, but you never know. I met my future husband, when I didn't want anyone at the time. I was too busy, feeling really depressed, because I had to break up with my first love. We both thought we were going to get married and grow old together. When you least expect or want it, you might meet the real Mr Right.

hugss
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by on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:08 AM

Am sure you'll be ok,
We'll be here as well so pop on & say hi :)

LadyDiamond927
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 12:16 AM

hugs

I've had a few Thanksgiving alone, when DH couldn't make it back home in time for the holiday...Kids have other plans....

gonecrazi
by Bronze Member on Nov. 19, 2013 at 10:58 AM

 This year will be only me and ds 11. DH is still working in Mexico. I'm not use to not having a house full of people. But we will be fine.

 

 

 

 

jabs54
by Jeanine on Nov. 19, 2013 at 3:14 PM

 Aww, I'm sorry.  I would hate it if my 22 yr old dd went somewhere else for holidays.  If you live in Wisconsin you could join us :)

Esmrlda
by Esme on Nov. 19, 2013 at 5:53 PM

HI DoggieMomNow!  Welcome to the group.  What are you thinking when you say just include the spouses family?  Like them coming to your house instead or them?

Quoting DoggieMomNow:

Not to add to your lonely situation, let me just say....I understand...yet I have not been exactly in your shoes....I have married sons that comes with other issues of loneliness....not just on holidays....I live with a spouse that just does not get it...I have felt lonliness and isolation for at least 8 years....holidays are the worst ....it must go back to my own childhood...but my dil's never do things for their spousez family....we might be included..but never are things done just for us...my thoughts to you is to adjust your life to fit who you are now....I do believe daughters are sooo different with their families...so give her this year..


.but here is what you can do if you have the energy and good health..have you thought of contacting a volunteer group and saying " i would like to help this year"?  .. I would never cook a meal for myself...I wish I had enough holiday spirit to do that but i know i don't...i read about the meals on wheels program recently and how a volunteer found her holiday purpose again after several years of her kids not visiting on holidays....you could brighten the day for many...but i know...sometimes the rut we are in mires us down...i have been there...

I just had foot surgery and considering bowing out of going to my sons house because i just don't want to sit around others in a cast....i know my dil is only catering to her family...my other dil talks my son into taking my grandchildren on a vaca every tgiving now....so you can see what faces me.....i just pray that my foot surgery will allow me to give volunteer time in the future...i need more in my life now than my sons and spouse give me....


i hope you find a silver lining in this cloud....and if you do nothing more than get takeout and rent some comedies....enjoy the day that is yours to do with as you please....




DesignGirl450
by Lynda on Nov. 21, 2013 at 2:54 PM

Dear DoggieMomNow:  Sorry that you are so unhappy about your sons' treatment of you.  It really is up to them, not their wives, how the relationship with them should be.  You sons will set the tone for how respectfully (or not) their parents are treated by their wives.   I find that the holidays seem to magnify a lot of problems people have in their families as there is such a pressure from the media/advertising that everyone is sitting around a beautiful table, laughing, eating, enjoying  each others' company.   Sadly, for a large number of people, this is not reality, but rather a consumerism myth. 

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