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here we go AGAIN!!!!

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 11:50 AM
  • 53 Replies
Good morning!!
How us everyone doing so far today??
I hope doing well!!!;-)

Ok so most know situation with my being seperated from DH and filing for divorce. Well few days ago he gave me the flowers and things which were very nice of him also unexpected since he hasnt done or made me feel special in several years of our marriage! Well out of all days today this morning my DH got served the divorce papers!!:-/ of course that set him off... I was at work(before my boss sends me home) because my DH comes up to my job demanding to see me. I knew it was him because I can here him all the way in back. So I'm having to stop doing what I'm doing with a patient having another nurse take over so I can talk with him. He ask to speak to me in private. So we went into this empty room to talk. He starts going on about what in the Hell was this throwing the papers at my face! Telling me he is not signing shit! That he is trying but I make things so difficult. As I'm telling him to lower his voice and could we just not do this at my job. I will talk to him but not when he is yellingaand throwing things at me. Besides he really isn't suppose to be near me due to the order of protection. He continuously asking me why am I doing this to him? What about our kids? I try telling him again we can try discussing this later but now wasn't a good time I have to work. As I turn to walk away he grab my arm throwing me against the wall saying how I need to fix this! He is not signing a damn thing. I'm his wife and it will remain that way. I told him He was hurting me and need to let me go. That this what he us doing is why he is losing me and his kids. He can't control his temper and a ticking bomb! I can't live like that anymore! I love him dearly but I just can't do it and I was sorry.... He has a lot of work to do. And no flowers,candy or whatever can't fix the things he need to work on,myself need to work on. Anyhow long story short he was very pissed left out the room knocking things over in hall,hitting stuff. They called security but he said he will leave. My boss told me this has become dangerous with his showing up at the job. And its not only putting me at risk but other workers and patients. Which I understand. She told me maybe I should consider finding another place of employment where he doesn't know. So fourth so fourth. And told me to go home! Sooo I think I've lost my job! :'(
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DesignGirl450
by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:10 PM

If this is how he treats you, ask him if he considers how your children feel being exposed to this violence and anger.   I hope your work place gives you another chance, and you haven't  lost your job because of him.  It sounds like you will end up having to obtain a restraining order against him coming to your workplace and making threats.  

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:21 PM

oohhhhh I am so sorry!  Yikes.  I hope your job will be okay  ... this really bites.  

believe it or not, been there done that although I didn't lose the job!  holy cow.

hang in there.  I'm afraid that at this point, there really is no hope for him to be changing his ways.  the only way that change will come is for YOU to make the change - and obviously you are doing that now.  hugs hugs hugs to you.  

(this just sounds soooooo familiar ...)

mac1940
by Mary Ann on Feb. 14, 2014 at 12:33 PM

Wow, I didn't realize from your previous posts, that his anger ran to physical assualts.  My first impulse would be to not only change jobs, but to change locations totally although I realize with kids involved that is not a workable solution unless he is also physically abusive to them.  Are there enough hospitals in your area to just change jobs?  I am so sorry that this happened.  Do you have extended family that can support you - parents, sybllings?  And does he have someone who could reason with him?  Hugs to you.

jabs54
by Jeanine on Feb. 14, 2014 at 3:19 PM
5 moms liked this

 Oh my, I'm so sorry.  If you have an order of protection from him you should not have talked to him. The police take that very seriously and really hate it when people ask for it and then don't follow through.  I would talk to your boss and assure him/her that you will never again talk to him at work and instead call the police if he shows up.  I hope you can save your job!  Good luck.  

JenniferW67
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 4:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Please be careful. It doesn't sounds like he's in control of himself. You and your kids are at risk. Can you go stay with family for a while?

Maddie24
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:35 PM

 WOW.  He is a danger and you need to proceed with getting him away from  you and the children.  I am so sorry.  I certainly hope that your employer will work with you on this.  Since you already have a protective order it would be a good idea to not talk with him, but call the police.  You really have your hands full with adult children, young children, a new baby and an abusive husband.  He is just that - abusive.  I think sometimes people in the situation do not realize how bad it is.  Be careful.

Ambear72
by Amber on Feb. 14, 2014 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this

OH NO!!  I am so very sorry.  I hope thats not the case.  Hugs and Prayers going out to you and your familly.  (You can use this in the case)

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Feb. 14, 2014 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry that he caused you to loose your job. I can understand your employer's sid ebut you would think that they would be willing to file a stay away petition against him themsleves banning him from the proporty instead of automaticly firing you. 

I am glad you are getting away from him, he sounds dnagerous. It may be heartbreaking to do it but it will save your life from the sounds of things.

hugss
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by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 12:07 AM

Aww .. I agree with the others,
Can you get a restraining order to keep him away from your work place?
Big hugs to you hon :)

brookerenee45
by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 10:02 AM
Hi- I don't think he is considering our children at all. If is up to him he isn't the one with the issues it's me. I cause him to be angry! So he tells the twins. I lost my job. I called her back yesterday and she told she was sorry but it's best if they let me go. She told me I was a great nurse. That this wasn't personal decision. She just don't want the whole him coming to my workplace and blowing up. This isn't the first time he has came to my job like this. He has done this so many times before. Even before my leaving him. He would pop up at my job if I didn't return his calls back right away! I do have an order of protection out on him. It was my fault that I haven't been enforcing it by calling cops every time he comes to my home or work. Thought he really was wanting to change and the kids love seeing their father so I felt guilty in keeping them from him.

Quoting DesignGirl450:

If this is how he treats you, ask him if he considers how your children feel being exposed to this violence and anger.   I hope your work place gives you another chance, and you haven't  lost your job because of him.  It sounds like you will end up having to obtain a restraining order against him coming to your workplace and making threats.  

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