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I'm a mom with an adult son.

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 2:30 AM
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 Hi All, I'm a new comer looking for some help with my son who has several college degrees but is looking for an acting job in L.A., CA.   He won't listen to friends and family about how difficult it is to land a job in that field. He's almost out of his savings so I imagine he will be moving home soon.  Help!

by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 2:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LadySaphira
by Lisa on Mar. 12, 2014 at 6:17 AM

first of all, welcome to the group! My name is Lisa and I have 2 boys ages 25 and 16 and 2 girls ages 23 and 22. Hold old is your son? I would strongly suggest setting some house rules before allowing him to move back in, if tht is what you choose to do and be ready to stick to them if he does not follow through. (including by kicking him out on his rear if need be). A lot of ladies here have beeen in a spot similar to yours and they will have some great advice.


skrbelly
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 8:12 AM
Good morning! I'm mother of 2 boys, 27 years old. One of my boys has been living and working on his own for years. The other one, well. He is very unrealistic and has all these fantastic ideas for his life, but nothing that has a real chance of happening. We have talked, fought, cried, etc. Nothing is going to change his mind.We don't argue anymore. It's his life, and ultimately he will have to let the world school him. This is a huge deal, but this is a lesson life has to teach him at this point. He isn't going to learn it from us.And that's the way it is supposed to be. Give yourself a break, he has his own ideas for his life.
Bleacheddecay
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:19 AM

Write up a contract and stick to it.

Why123
by Nancy on Mar. 12, 2014 at 9:25 AM

Hi Abby and welcome to the group.  I don't have any advice to give.  He has to learn on his own.  You can't do it for him.

mac1940
by Mary Ann on Mar. 12, 2014 at 12:14 PM

Does he understand that most looking to become actors support themselves by doing other jobs while waiting for heir big chance at becoming a star?  If he has everal college degrees, he certainly should be able to find something that will pay him not the big bucks, but enough for survival. 

jabs54
by Jeanine on Mar. 12, 2014 at 3:33 PM

Hi and welcome!  Don't have any advice for you.  My dh works with a number of younger people who have degrees where they can't find jobs.  I wish him luck.  Keep us posted.

hugss
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by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:09 AM

WElcome to the group,
Is he working while out there?
I guess he is trying to follow his fream.
When/if he comes back home .. will he look for work then?
Hang in there & hugs to you :)

Quoting Abby3101:


 Hi All, I'm a new comer looking for some help with my son who has several college degrees but is looking for an acting job in L.A., CA.   He won't listen to friends and family about how difficult it is to land a job in that field. He's almost out of his savings so I imagine he will be moving home soon.  Help!


DixieL
by Dixie on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Hi Abby. Welcome to Cafemom, and to Moms With Adult Children. I don't think there is anyway in the world, that anyone will be able, to talk him out of his dreams, until he finally see's it for himself. Hopefully he will learn soon, since he is almost out of money. He will have to get a job, and will have time to think. Maybe he will come to his senses then. That is such a hard occupation to be successful at. I hope you stay in the group. There are all good moms in this group. When I joined Cafemom, during my first week, I became addicted to it, and I'll bet you will too. Good Luck with your son.

caro100
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 3:47 AM
Good luck. Until he gets the bug out, you will be talking to the wall. Don't let him come home. He has degrees, let him get a job and keep up with the acting. Yes it's hard but, get he has better oppurtunities than most out there. Hang in there mama.
LeJane
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 10:43 AM
1 mom liked this

 I am one for supporting their dreams.    It is our "expectations" which sabotage us and take us to negativity.    If you let go of your expectations for him and let him seek out what he wants in life, you will be able to  be a part of what is going on.   He sounds like he is going to do this with or without you-  I would rather be a part of their lives.    So he wants to be an actor ?    Encourage him.   I would be proud of him for going for what he wants.   Who knows-  maybe he will be the next "Brad Pitt".  

      He has college degrees that he can fall back on and use if he needs to.    It sounds like he is in a pretty good spot to go for what he wants out of life.     Let him find his dreams.     All too often we want them to fulfill ours.     

   The help you want is to "change" his mind.   We don't know what is best for anyone except ourselves.   Allow him to find out wether this is right or not.  Life is short and if this is what he wants,   help him through it.    Maybe he will find other ways to use his degrees and get involved in other areas of this huge industry.  

Welcome to the group.   The women here are great people and you will love it !!

    Hugs...

   

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