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When it pours, it pours some more

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 6:31 PM
  • 64 Replies

I appreciated all of your thoughts and prayers about my aunt, who has made an unexpected comeback- she'll never be well since she has had Alzheimer's a long time, but she is aware and able to open her mouth and eat.

My mom went into the hospital this morning, struggling to breathe, she has been having an ongoing heart attack for three days now, which I didn't hear about until my sister called this morning. Mom is resting comfortably now in the hospital, but although the doctor says her only hope is to have angioplasty, she flatly refuses. We have tried coaxing and logic, nothing is working to persuade her. If she felt it was time to go, if she felt comfortable about leaving us, then it might be some consolation, but she says she is going to recover- despite the doctor's statement otherwise. She is still failing, her lips are blue. The doctor looked at my son and me as though we would override her refusal, but we don't see how we can, she seems lucid, although mistaken.

I don't know what to do. ?

by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 6:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mac1940
by Mary Ann on Mar. 14, 2014 at 6:46 PM

Does she have a medical directive stating what her wishes are.  If she does, then I think her wishes as signed in that directive should be followed and a copy of same should be given to both the hospital and doctor.  If there is no directive, then I would try to best to persuade her.  Prayers going out for your mother and your family.  I assume your mother is relatively advanced in age and surgery is a scary thing for older people.  And though an angioplasty is not major surgery it is still a surgical procedure.  Has the doctor explained to her the process of doing this?

Bmat
by Barb on Mar. 14, 2014 at 8:06 PM

She does have a medical directive, and does not want unusual efforts made to save her if it is obvious her quality of life would be poor. I read the assignment of medical power and it implies that my sister could override Mom's wishes, but neither she nor I feel this would be the right thing to do.

We tried to persuade her, using every argument we could think of, including the new great-grandchild on the way. She is just determined that the doctor just wants the money from the surgery and that it wouldn't do her any good. Which doesn't really seem rational, but to her it is.

Dad had the surgery done 15 years ago, so Mom spoke of this and the bruising and so forth, but even though we pointed out that Dad lived another 5 years, she just wouldn't change her mind.

Thank you for your prayers and for your thoughts on the situation.


Quoting mac1940:

Does she have a medical directive stating what her wishes are.  If she does, then I think her wishes as signed in that directive should be followed and a copy of same should be given to both the hospital and doctor.  If there is no directive, then I would try to best to persuade her.  Prayers going out for your mother and your family.  I assume your mother is relatively advanced in age and surgery is a scary thing for older people.  And though an angioplasty is not major surgery it is still a surgical procedure.  Has the doctor explained to her the process of doing this?


jabs54
by Jeanine on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:35 PM

OMGosh Barb, I'm so sorry!  I can't imagine being in your shoes :(

              Hugs and Prayers

kuntrylady56
by Gold Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 9:49 PM

Your Mom sounds like mine, A stubborn streak a mile long!!  I hope you are able to convince her to whats right and she comes out of this okay.  Will be keeping her and you all in my prayers.  (((HUGS)))

LEK19
by Platinum Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 10:02 PM

Oh, my...what a hard place to be. Hugs to you and your family. I hope she changes her mind and gets the medical attention she needs.

Bmat
by Barb on Mar. 14, 2014 at 10:06 PM

Thank you. :(

Quoting jabs54:

OMGosh Barb, I'm so sorry!  I can't imagine being in your shoes :(

              Hugs and Prayers


Bmat
by Barb on Mar. 14, 2014 at 10:08 PM

Thank you. My brother is going over in the morning, maybe he can convince her, but the doctor said that the window of opportunity where the surgery would help is closing.

Quoting kuntrylady56:

Your Mom sounds like mine, A stubborn streak a mile long!!  I hope you are able to convince her to whats right and she comes out of this okay.  Will be keeping her and you all in my prayers.  (((HUGS)))


Bmat
by Barb on Mar. 14, 2014 at 10:08 PM

Thank you. I appreciate the hugs and thoughts.

Quoting LEK19:

Oh, my...what a hard place to be. Hugs to you and your family. I hope she changes her mind and gets the medical attention she needs.


hugss
by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 12:07 AM

Aww .. can you not have legal guardianship or something that puts power in your hands?
So sorry & hugs to you :)

ravenseeyore
by Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 12:54 AM

I'm sorry to hear that your Mom is going through this.  I'll be praying for her.  I had a heart attack on November 1, 2008. I had angioplasty to place 2 stents. I came home from the hospital feeling much better, I hope she changes her mind before it is too late for the angioplasty to help.

 

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